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| Blogs > demonicsexkitten > Life, or something like it |
Learning about sex
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Learning about sex Once upon a time I was innocent and a virgin. Except ... I had a vivid imagination. And read lots of books. That was one of the reasons Anastasia in "50 Shades" drove me insane when I read the book. I knew more about sex living in my parents home, with an overprotective mother and an overly healthy dose of parental terror (of the good kind. Yes, despite I turn 40 on Saturday, I still fear upsetting my mom. Though I've gotten great at 'don't ask, don't tell, pretend I agree and go do my own thing' over the years). How can ANYbody know so little about sex by age 20+ as Anastasia seemed to is beyond me. When I was 16 I thought it ideal to marry another virgin... though I was also terrified of the thought. How would I ever explain all my knowledge of sex and intimacy and have him not call me a liar and divorce me on the spot? And, after I turned 20 and was in my first serious "adult" relationship (still a virgin) I decided I wanted to learn all I could about sex so that, when I did get married and gifted my virginity, I'd totally WOW him (the guy I was in love with and thought to marry at that time was 17 years older, divorced and 4 kids). Thus: I went book shopping. I already owned The Kama Sutra (Complete Edition - there's really very little sex in the book. I still kept it hid through high school. I didn't know what it was when I bought it). I then added a Persian version (The Scented Garden? I'd have to look), and a few books by various "sex experts". Plus of course there are various versions with photos and position names. Funny thing is half the things I tried after taking that next step in the relationship came out of my own mind and curiosity. It wasn't until much later that I happened to be flipping through a book and "Oh, hey! Look at that... there's actually a name for what we were doing" How did you learn about sex? Sex ed? (though that never really said much that I remember. Half the time I slept). Porn? Older siblings? Trial and error? Books? |
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For fear of great embarrassment I will not divulge at what age I had an orgasm from the result of someone other than myself  I attribute this to being a little insecure as well as a bit picky.I knew quite a bit from porn, reading (in the porn), hearing stories from others etc. When I first met the woman who'd end up being my wife and we started playing together she couldn't believe I was a cherry I still have her panties from the first time  Everyone is on a different plane of intelligence. Some people's plane has not taken off yet!! 
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I was precocious -- I masturbated through most of my childhood. So, my first teacher was myself. Then, at age 7, I found my dad's stash of porn and men's erotica. I was a virgin till 20, and I quickly shed my conservative upbringing to embrace my sexuality in its full juiciness. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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Learned where the woman's part were, and a bit of what to do with them, from Playboy mag. Then there is my lifelong quest for 'continuing education'.  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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We never had Sex Ed. when I went to school! It was taboo but happening!  Never heard one word about sex from my parents! I grew up on a farm so there were animals we "watched"!  Also learned from peers, porn, older siblings, many books and of course "trial & error"! 
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I'm still a virgin... I would hope that someone would be gentle and show me the way!!! just sayin'... Madonna - 'Like A Virgin' I made it through the wilderness Somehow I made it through Didn't know how lost I was Until I found you I was beat Incomplete I'd been had, I was sad and blue But you made me feel Yeah, you made me feel Shiny and new Hoo, Like a virgin Touched for the very first time Like a virgin When your heart beats Next to mine Gonna give you all my love, boy My fear is fading fast Been saving it all for you 'Cause only love can last You're so fine And you're mine Make me strong, yeah you make me bold Oh your love thawed out Yeah, your love thawed out What was scared and cold Like a virgin, hey Touched for the very first time Like a virgin With your heartbeat Next to mine Whoa Whoa, ah Whoa You're so fine And you're mine I'll be yours 'Till the end of time 'Cause you made me feel Yeah, you… To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog: Good luck!!! 
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I lived in a very liberal part of Minneapolis, and had regular sex ed classes from at least the 4th grade on. One thing I remember learning was that masturbation is normal and that boys do it all of the time. We learned all about the male orgasm, but somehow, for females, it wasn't a thing? I was very experimental, actively masturbating from a very young age. I played with textures, temperatures, mental scenarios, and lots of running water! I read what I found in the house - mostly a medical book and the sexy bits in Clan of the Cave Bear . As I got older, I passed the time on lonely cross-country road trips using toys I'd macgyvered, while flashing truckers. I didn't always make the best choices.But I still didn't understand that the female orgasm was a thing. I resolved to do what I was doing for as long as I could until the "funny feeling that makes me want to stop" kicked in. I'm still trying to recover from those feelings; my orgasms are loud and powerful, an overwhelming steam train -- partly because I'm still a little repressed and they get pushed far to the edge of my experiences. I was also an old virgin, 22. After heartbreak at 15, I didn't date until college, and by that point, virginity was a liability. Nobody wanted to take on being the one I'd "saved myself" for. This was silly and frustrating! But my first LTR, at 22, was a very positive, intimate, sexual relationship.
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I was very ignorant when I had my lovers panties off when I was a freshman in college. I didn't know what to do with her pussy besides sticking a finger in. And I had no knowledge of her clit. Nor how nice it would be for either of us to go down. She wanted to save her virginity for her future husband. There were no "how to" manuals available on helping your partner howl at the moon. She died in an accident driving back to school in the fall.
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