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| Blogs > Blessed_Tongue > Online adventure and lechery |
Laugh!
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Laugh! So it's official: I suck at blogging. True story. Most of my life at this point is rather boring/uneventful with the majority of funny/amusing random thoughts happening when I'm far far away from a computer. I apologize and will provide reparations to those who have been 'harmed'. Ideally they will be cute, funny, sex-fiends who can go from engaging conversation to engaging nudity in less time than it takes for me to say "Venti Soy Tazo Chai? Is it really 20 ounces and if so, why break with your naming scheme?". Just saying...  In any case, a few odd events took place recently. Laugh at my misfortune (or general confusion) if you like but if you laugh longer than 7 seconds - yes I'm timing you over the internet - you are not-so-legally obligated to provide your thoughts on the matter. A couple of weeks ago I went on a blind date. We seemed to hit it off quite well and there were sparks flying on both sides. But then a curveball was thrown by her where she said (to paraphrase): "If I take you home with me tonight, will you marry me forever and help me raise my children?" Note that she was serious. I will not tell you what my response was and whether or not Skyn brand condoms were used as I'm interested as to what people, men and women, have to say about this; the proposition of sex for marriage and the role of father I don't know. Event two (technically series of): I've been spending more time with a bunch of friends I haven't seen in ages. Apparently socializing is like riding a bike! Who knew?! At one of the parties, I was roped into a discussion on dating practices. Apparently I have a reputation as something of a scoundrel even though I don't date or hop into bed with many women; this is something I will admit to both sexes. The source of my reputation, it appears, is because I am a flirt. Once I am comfortable in an environment and with the people, I can and will flirt for the sake of flirting. Yes sometimes it leads to 'scandalous behavior' but really not all that often. The meat of the conversation, I promise! So at this party, I was roped in as "an expert" where I was asked what my rules for going out on dates with new people are. I won't bore you with the other rules... The one guys and girls got stuck on was my "10 minute, 10 question rule". Generally speaking if I'm asked what I do for a living within the first 10 minutes or first 10 questions I lose interest in the woman very very quickly. This is because I see a date as, ironically, a sort of two-way 'interview' but more importantly because I'm more interested in learning about the woman as a person... as a being... not a 'doing' and I would like those I interact with to think similarly. *Protip: There has been no exceptions to this rule or other core ones I have. If you really want to know, I guess you'll have to find out somehow. I think what a person does can tell you a bit about a person but it won't paint even a semi-complete picture of them. So knowing what they are doing isn't as important as knowing how or why or what they are living/experiencing. Thoughts? |
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Really? I think the 'what you do' question does say a lot about somebody. That always intrigues me about a person. Do you think you are turned off because you see it as a way that women are trying to find out really how much you make for a living? If I was getting that sense from a woman, then yes, I find that distasteful. They proved this using 'prestige' auto-dealer key-chains and other items essentially as prop/indicators of financial success and very slight changes of clothing styles on different nights. Perhaps back then I was too naive/idealistic. And maybe even now I'm too cynical; but I've seen it hold true.  Granted not all women do it but certainly those who phrase it as "What do you do for a living" definitely cause my guard to go up instantly. I don't want to be "that guy who performs function X". I see myself as "that person who does some things to enable him to do many other things". I think it's worth noting I see a vast and significant difference between asking a person what they do (demonstrating a general interest in who they are, their passions/goals/skills etc) versus quite specifically what they do for a living which is quite limited in scope. Yes it can give you an idea of who they are but only in the context of their current employment/professional status.
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Really? I think the 'what you do' question does say a lot about somebody. That always intrigues me about a person. Do you think you are turned off because you see it as a way that women are trying to find out really how much you make for a living? If I was getting that sense from a woman, then yes, I find that distasteful. I am a celebration of willful chaos and a hugger.
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I think "What do you do for a living" is an icebreaker, not a deal breaker. No, we are not defined by our career choices, nor should your dates be defined by a simple offer of curiosity  . As for your first scenario, RUN. Just...RUN. So tell me about yourself. Wow this weather is crazy; maybe I should write my member of parliament! What genre do you read? TV/Music/Movies? I used to help my mother and grandmother cook as a child and I think it's why I love lasagne. Do you have a favorite dish? I often go to Oh So Good for my coffee and cake fix. Specifically I love getting a bowl of black magic. Do you have any special or favorite places you go to for a treat? etc. etc. etc. I think it's possible... maybe it makes me a hardass or a jerk but maybe it should be possible. And yes. I ran. Finished my fish n chips as I was at a pub with her... but definitely ran! It's amazing how you can set an alarm as an important incoming call... lol
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I think "What do you do for a living" is an icebreaker, not a deal breaker. No, we are not defined by our career choices, nor should your dates be defined by a simple offer of curiosity . As for your first scenario, RUN. Just...RUN. When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...
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