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Worst Date Ever Writing Contest
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Love this story every time i read it.. GOOD LUCK lixxxxy baby
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So I live in Pittsburgh right? I met this girl while out with friends one night, I was designated driving for them so they let me into the bar with one of those snazzy wristbands. ANYWAY I start chatting up some girl who was also being ignored by her drunk friends and we hit it off pretty well. Turns out they were in town from somewhere in Ohio for something I never cared to remember. Anyway long story short after we deposit our friends in a safe environment (her friends to their hotel room, mine to my buddy's apartment) we're back at my place going at it like horny little rabbits. We steal one of my roommates bottles of wine and we're having one of those "This really can't be happening like this moments." where your life feels like a cheesy romantic comedy. Anyway so the next morning she calls her friends, she's still pretty drunk from the wine which she happened to have imbibed the majority of, and finds out that they left her in Pittsburgh, and apparently she's got work today! Me being the ever present knight in shining armor say "No problem! I'll drive you home!" So three hours later I'm dropping her off at work, and she says something about getting off at 4, but before it even registers I'm on my way back to Pittsburgh. Cut to two days later, she's banging at my apartment door yelling at my roommate that she was my girlfriend and then proceeded to bitch me out for 'leaving her at work'. Trust me, that took a few HOURS to sort out with the crazy bitch, and now I have a nice new restraining order framed on my wall. I guess the date was okay, it was the aftermath that seemed to be hellish. I knew those stories were lying when they said that they lived 'Happily ever after'.
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7/3/2008 5h45 |
I met Mr VP in an passion Chat room and after we exchanged several emails, we finally talked on the phone. He seemed like a decent guy, was very nice, and we decided to go out for dinner. He had picked out a very expensive restaurant, which I thought was nice. He offered to pick me up instead of meeting me there, saving two car's valet parking cost. Usually I don't allow someone to come to my home, but he seemed so nice, and I had his phone number, knew the company he worked for, and I thought I knew him pretty good by now. He showed up at my door dressed very distinguished in a suit, and had brought flowers as a gift. I was very impressed. We had a wonderful dinner with great converstaion, we got along fine, and he certainly captured my attention. We talked and laughed like we'd been going out for months. When we got back to my house and decided to have a bottle of wine. We sat down with our glasses, said a little cheer to each other, and sipped our wine. We were hitting it off alot better than I could have expected. After a few moments he asked where the restroom was and I pointed down the hall. I sat back to sip my wine while he went to the restroom. When he came back I couldn't help but notice the only thing he had on was his boxer shorts. I was stunned. He didn't speak, but just walked over in front of me and stood there. I was sitting on the sofa and he reached inside his boxers and pulled his penis out. He only used his index finger and thumb, and shook it right in front of me and said, "babe, can you handle this monster?" The reason he only used his index finger and thumb is because his penis was so small. My thumb was larger than his penis, even with it being hard! Now I have seen a few penis' in my life but this was the smallest one I'd ever seen. I started laughing. Who wouldn't? This man was waggling that tiny penis like it was a monster and it was so tiny. I gained control of myself and said sit down a minute and lets talk about this. He smiled real big and sat down. The next words out of his mouth were "Oh by the way, I like my ass shaved and I brought the kit for you to do it. I was speecheless. I grabbed my drink and chugged it and said excuse me a moment. I dashed to the kitchen and found my cell phone and called a friend. I said, "please don't ask any questions, just do as I say. Hang up and call me on my regular phone now and tell me you need me immediately. Say you're stuck on the highway, in the hospital, or anything. Just do it. Sound desperate, too, because I am." Then I hung up. I walked into the living room as the phone was ringing and I put it on speaker phone so he could hear the desperate call from my friend. I told her I would be there as soon as I could, and asked Mr VP to please get dressed and leave so I could rescue my friend. He hurriedly got dressed and left, and I vowed never to have someone come to my home again unless I know them a long time! I swear I will never be a dumbass again!
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7/3/2008 3h43 |
We had met in a chat room and got to know each other pretty good over the course of a few months. We were finally comfortable enough with each other to have our first date. A blind date because we had never actually met. We had talked on the phone alot and sent daily emails back and forth. We had decided to go to a park and have a picnic. It was August in Georgia so it was still hot, so we decided to have our date late in the afternoon. I knew she loved bottled water and at the time, glass bottles of water were available. I had gotten a case of the water the week before the date and stored it in the trunk of my car. On the day of the date, I had a cooler ready with ice for the water, and I had a tray of cheeses, crackers, and strawberries and powdered sugar. I picked the lady up and we drove to the park. We found a nice shady spot to park right by the ball park so we could watch the softball games going on. We sat a few minutes talking, getting to know each other now that we didn't have to rely on emails to say what we wanted to say. After a few minutes it started getting cloudy. Very cloudy. Like the bottom was going to fall out of the sky. I reached to the cooler in the back seat and handed her a bottle of water. Just as I handed her the bottle, I heard a gunshot very close by. I also felt where I had been hit right above the eye. I was shot and I was bleeding! I immediately thought, this woman is married, she didn't tell me, and her jealous followed us! I leaped out of the car and crouched down beside the door. I screamed, "Are you married?" She just looked at me like, I have no idea what is going on. People that had been walking near us heard the gunshot and commotion and had stopped to stare. By then blood was flowing down into my eye, blinding me in that eye, and since I didn't see an enraged husband with a gun, I got back in the car. As I reached for a napkin to cover the gunshot above my eye, the worst rain storm of the century started. So here we were, sitting in the car with a major storm going on outside and me holding a napkin to my head to stop the bleeding. This was not going good at all. I cranked the car up and turned the exhaust fan on to clear the steam out of the car. "Did you know that the outside air is toxic?" She asked. "Huh?" I said, peeking through one eye. "I am allergic to toxic air and the outside air is toxic," she explained. Oh joy, I thought, an environmentalist nutcase. I turned the exhaust fan off and sat there thinking, why me? Why me? It was then that I saw all the shattered glass all over the dashboard. What had happened was, the bottled water had gotten hot in the trunk of my car and when I had taken them out they had exploded, throwing glass everywhere. A piece of the glass had nicked me above my eye. "We should go home now," she said. I agreed. I took her home, driving slowly since I only had one eye to see with. After dropping her off at her house I drove home and sat in my driveway. I rested my forehead on the steeringwheel thinking, life has to be better than this. I had my own little picnic then, staring out the windshield at all the rain while eating strawberries with sugar and cheese with crackers. And water. As I walked into my house awhile later, I stood there soaking wet, blood on my forehead, and powdered sugar all over my lips. My son, who had been watching television, looked up at me and said, "I guess the date didn't go well, did it, Dad?"
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7/3/2008 1h38 |
I had one where i met this chick on bebo who was a total hottie!!! so there was me trying to play the romantic and nice guy "yeah, I'll take you to dinner" imagining me taking this girl's clothes off even as i said it. The night came, it was a Friday and I'd dithced my mates for the night to take her out, and was really looking forwards to it, looking around for this hot chick, noticing this ugly girl standing not too far also looking. I had a moment of dread, then realised that I'd seen this chick on webcam so it couldn't be her. Then lo and behold this ugly chick walks up to me and says, "Hi Tom, I'm Jen." Well my world just plummetted, I was that shocked she asked if I was all right and said if we should do this another night, and stupidly some thought of honour or something came in, she'd had to get the train to come down and I felt bad. It's only one dinner, I thought to myself, then I'll text Ginge to get him to ring me and save me. It was terrible from the word go, she was one of those unbelievably ugly chicks who are convinced they're the beautiful, and so obnoxoous! She slated the waitress (who was just perfect), claiming her eyes too small and her nose too long, and all i could do was think to myself well take a look at yourself love before you slate better looking women. It was terrible, Fergie came on the telly, Leona Lewis and both got slated for being ugly due to big noses. On top of it she was self obssessed, it was me me me, I think this, I did that, the only time I got to speak was when she asked me what I thought about her or her opinion. I finally managed to chuck the snide comment about how she looked different to her photo, and she told me straight it was her cousin's photo and her cousin on webcam. But of course I'd told her personality and semse of humour count more .... I kicked myself!!!! Then, and I could not believe it, Ginge and Joe turned up! My mates, my two best mates turned up and sat down, introducing themselves to this girl. My pride and dignity was down in the dust as they told her that the two of us must come clubbing with us, and when questioned about where she could sleep they told her she could sleep at mine. Of course when she went to the toilet I got ripped to shreds! In the end, when she started trying to kiss me I ducked, said I needed the toilet and cleared off, not even daring to go home in case Ginge and Joe turned up with her in toe, I managed to find another friend and she let me crash at hers. I never heard from this chick again, except for an email the next day calling me all the names under the sun. All in all, not my best date.
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K.... I know this isn't as gruesome as some..... BUT... I was working in a "specialty meat" section of a well known grocery chain.... Had a freezer FULL of steaks.... Stopped in to my house (same day as Lady Di was killed) to grab some beer & steaks.... My neighbor introduced me to the MOST BEAUTIFUL man I had ever seen  .... I HAD to go cause I had other plans, so I passed a few steaks to them for their BBQ... Went my "merry way".... Next day, same guy told my son "Your Mom is AWESOME!!".... My son said "She HAS a BF" and ran away.... Same guy came over later & told me how much he had "fallen" for me.... THEN... I met his 3 kids (ages 2, 3, & 4).... The 2 yo couldn't even walk  .... I allowed them in.... They came in & played with my son, & melted my cold heart.... Same guy convinced me he was THE man for me..... I went to dinner with him.... Allowed him to move in the same night.... He tried to go back to his ex-wife the next day while I was at work.... My roommate told me what a scum he was.... His ex gave him the boot again..... I REFUSED his entrance back to my house......Next day I was called by AK Regional Hospital, as he had put me down as his next of kin......They had found a "problem" on an MRI...... He had an inoperable aneurysm... He was gonna die..... I went to his side & pretended I was there for him since no one else would be.....Allowed him "home" (thinking he would be gone).... SOA sent him to Harborview & he got an operation...... He LIVED ..... Spent the next 8 yrs of my life being verbally / emotionally abused just PRAYING his time "would come"...... Finally walked away after he taught my son how to smoke pot & be a scum-bag, accused me of killing our youngest (that passed due to sleeping with an adult), and grew to have seizures everytime he drank or smoke (both habits he thought were more important that living). To this day, I HAVE the 6 yo from him, my (now) 18 yo considers him dad, and his 14,13, & 12 yo spend time with me..... While he continuesto live his life drinking & smoking until he seizes & ceases to breathe whileothers bring him back to life..... ALL over a dinner that caused ME to be "his next of kin"
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It was all so new to me... I had two long term relationships and marriages spanning decades of my life. I was new to the use of computers (2004) and venturing out into internet dating for my first dating experience in years. I was delighted to find a suitable guy who seemed very interested and seemed to have a wonderful personality. I was excited about meeting him at a near by restaurant. I had read and followed the safety rules for internet dating so I agreed to meet him in a public place. I had butterflies in my stomach like a teen going out on a first date. I saw him waiting outside the entrance and approached him. I said hello and as he held the door open for me he said "I thought you would be taller." I was confused by that. I told him "Well my profile said my exact height." We were lead to a booth and sitting opposite from him I ordered an ice tea. He said he just wanted water. We chatted a bit. The waitress brought his water and my ice tea. Pulling out his cell phone he said "I need to plug this in to charge it in my car. I'll be right back." Well I was there for quite awhile before I realized what had happened. He had ditched me there. I was totally humiliated. I went to the cash register and paid for my ice tea. I drove home and wondered how in the hell could anyone be such a cowardly jerk to pull such a stunt. I never saw or heard from him again. Well it was his loss-and I am sure Karma will catch up with him.
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1 message 6/3/2008 19h56 |
I met a woman here and exchanged a couple of emails. I hate emailing and seeing as how she lived about a half-hour away I decided to go and meet her. Once I met her things started out okay. She was cute and the conversation wasn't bad. She asked what I had planned and frankly I hadn't thought any further than lunch and conversation. She told me she wanted to go to her favorite restaurant - and I agreed. Little did I realize that her favorite place was McDonalds, which brought an entirely new meaning to the expression of "cheap date." Up to this point things had been going okay, but then she started talking to people that weren't there. Not random words, but entire conversations, including arguments and yelling and it appeared that there were at least three different conversations going on at once. By now people are looking at us and I'm trying to figure out a way of getting out of there without her noticing. I failed. On the drive back to her house she had a few more conversations including one with, presumably her ovaries when she said "no I don't think he wants to sleep with us." On the other hand it could have been a conversation with one of her invisible friends. In my rush to get out of there I drove off before she had closed the car door. I guess the lesson to be learned here is ot make sure the person you are meeting is not on a medication holiday...
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6/3/2008 17h44 |
I was stationed in Germany when I met this Girl. We went out on a date and it lasted about 3 hours. After I got off work and get a shower and got ready, I went to pick her up. I just got my car two weeks ago. It still had that new car smell. When she got in the car it stunk to high heaven. Like she had not used any deodorant in a year or more. After about a 30 minute drive to the next town, we stopped to get something to eat. When the food came out, it was about half cooked, I tried to force it down. After dinner and felling sick from the food and the smell from this girl, We head to the post I was stationed at. We get there and she says she wants to go to the movies. So I said okay. We sat there and watched the movie but I had to get up 4 times to go get som fresh air. After the movie I take her home and tell her that i am not feeling well. We get back to her house and I walk her to the door and she ask me if I want a drink or something. I say no and right after I say that, she kisses me. Oh My God, I got sick and it went all over her. I got in my car as fast I could and drove to the bar on post and got drunk. That was the longest 3 hours I have ever had in my life.
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6/3/2008 14h44 |
we met this guy on line met him for drinks at lydias in akron he was a big guy and really pushy he hit on everygirl at the bar he kept making rude comments to everyone like the wife said it was stuffy in there so he grabbed her ass and said oh you want stuffed we at the time of agreeing to meet him said it would be only oral sex he said that was cool so we finished our drinks went back to his house and he got naked as soon as we got in the door he pushed the wife on the couch and unbuttoned her jeans yanking them off then he tore her pantys off im not a wimp but this guy was scaring mehe pulled her legs up in the air and started eating her real hard then rolled her backwards with her legs over head and stuck his tounge in her ass after that he slid 2 fingers in her ass making her scream out stop so i said hey remeber just oral he told me to shut the fuck up or he would kick my ass i tryed grabbing him he took me down to the floor and hit me so hard i went out cold when i woke up i was stripped naked with my hands tied up i looked over at the couch and he was pumping his cock in her mouth he looked back at me and said shes my bitch tonight his cock was about 9 inches long and mines about 7 he made fun of my dick then he pushed her back on the couch and rammed his cock in her hard fucking the shit out of her with her feet back over head he pulled outand took the precum from his cock and rubbed it on her virgin asshole then he slid his 2 middle fingers in her ass to loosen it up i was helpless but to watch she cryed out stop but that made him more exited he took his cock up to her ass and forced it in inch after inch tearing her virgin ass apart she cryed out that it hurt and she started bleeding but he didnt care he pounded her ass for a couple more minutes then he shoved it in to the hilt and started moaning and growling he was cumming in her ass after he pulled out a mixture of blood and cum oozed from her ass he cleaned off his dick with a towel untied me and told us to get the fuck out we got dressed as fast as possibile and went home and she soaked in the tub to stop the pain and we agreed that if we ever go out again with someone will get to know them more better first.
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6/3/2008 13h17 |
My worst date from hell was won in a radio competion . So we meet at the patto taven in Brisbane and yes she was not the most glamous girl in the bar but hey should not judge too harshly. We had dinner and talked for quite a long time and then headed back to her place . Also she had fairly bad breath but i thought that would improve when she brushed her teeth, Wrong. After we had sex and later went to sleep I felt that I was sleeping next to a freeway or something as the snoring was so loud. Now I was in the navy sleeping next to Machinery , but this was impossible to sleep with. No second date
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6/3/2008 11h18 |
thanks this was funny as hell
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6/3/2008 11h10 |
that story was funny so how was work that day?
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OK TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT THIS IS THE WORST DATE EVER. ME AND MY FRIENDS WENT PARKING OUT ON AN OLD ROAD, MY FRIENDS WAS USING THE BACK SEAT SO ME AN MY GIRL WENT TO THE BACK OF MY CAR. MY CAR WAS A HATCHBACK AND WE HAD THE TRUNK OPEN TO HEAR THE MUSIC. WE STARTED HAVING SEX >>! AND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT THE TRUNK LID FALLS DOWN ON BOTH OF HER HANDS AND CLOSES. THIS ALMOST BROKE BOTH OF HER HANDS. I HAD TO RUN AROUND THE CAR GET THE KEYS AND UNLOCK THE TRUNK. I WENT HOME WITH BLUE BALLS THAT NIGHT. IT SUCKED. 
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5/3/2008 20h56 |
my worst date was when i was with a guy i liked. well started off pretty good we went to the beach and went swimming and tanning. ended up going out for a night on the town.. wasnt such a good idea! i paid for our whole date. his stupid self managed to leave everything at his house after we went to the beach and changed clothes. he left his wallet, license everything. we were going to go drink at my old job where im still cool with everyone. ya well he couldnt because he had no ID and they wouldnt let him in. he begged them which was pretty pathetic. I said fine whatever we can go rent movies and go back to his place. Was giving him a second chance so went out a weekend later.. ya well shouldn't have. Once again i paid for everything.
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5/3/2008 19h34 |
He was a drop dead gorgeous model from a fashion show I did last year. He tried to take me out back and fuck me at the show, but I refused. We e-mailed back a forth for a long time, and one day it got really heated when I told him that I thought he needed to be dominated. I gave him my address and told him to come to my door with five red roses, to kneel after knocking, and to kiss my shoes when I opened the door. He did all that he was told to do. I blindfolded him, and led him to my bedroom. As soon as my lips touched his cock he erupted. And then he got all wierd and embarrassed and started grabbing his clothes and took off. Haven't seen him since. What a disappointment!
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Worst date ever...a blind date my well-intentioned Mom set me up with. It was many years ago when I was miserably between girlfriends. Soooooo...she has this "nice girl" in mind she thinks I should meet. Sooooooo, I agreed. We were to meet at a corner bar on a summer evening...warm night, still light out. I arrived early and got a table strategically located near the entrance, facing the door. A woman walked in who fit the general description my Mom had given me. I walked up, we shook hands, and went back to the table. Though quite plain in her makeup and dress, she was still very pleasant on the eyes...tall, slender, smaller breasts that were very nicely shaped and placed, nice hips (I notice nice hips). Like I said...very pleasant on the eyes...just not the ears. She worked at the Planned Parenthood clinic (how my Mom would know someone from there is, to this day, something of a mystery). Talk about jaded...she reminded me of a career cop who'd seen one too many perps in his life, and needed to retire. At one point (during a rare lull in her rants against people in general), I looked out the window and noticed a couple crossing the street holding hands (boy, how lucky I thought HE was at that moment). She saw them too..."oh, geez..." she hissed, "...look at them." I asked what was wrong with that. "Can't they get a room or something?" "Huh?" I asked, still taken aback by the venom she'd just spewed in their direction, "what's wrong with them holding hands like that?" "It's disgusting," she replied. Ever had one of those uncomfortable hiccups in conversation...the kind that just seems to drag on forever? I finished my drink...well, gulped the rest down, and said "well, it's been...uh...interesting." I was standing by that point, and she looked at me with the same disgust I'd seen her direct at the couple holding hands, and said "and I suppose you're another one who's not going to call me, aren't you?" Figuring I had nothing to lose at that point (I was outside of arm's length), I replied, "Oh, I don't know...I guess it depends on what you'd like me to call you." Her mouth dropped open, which I took as my cue to depart....
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5/3/2008 13h30 |
I pick the girl up at her house and get on the highway to go across town to a nice restaurant. During the drive (at 70 mph) this chick is digging in her purse and accidently sprays her handy MACE can in the car--windows UP middle of winter FLYING down icy expressway. So, eyes burning ,I slam on the brakes, go into a slide and wrap my new car around a pole! EMS had to cut us out of the car. She walked away without a scratch. I got a broken leg and a permanent facial scar. Once I get out of the hospital my friend calls me and says this girl is telling everyone I was drunk driving and deserved it. Thanks honey, could you at least blow me while I sit in this wheelchair?
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1 message 5/3/2008 13h28 |
My date who was really hot picked me up. We went to watch the Submarine races. It was a very mild Feb day and it had just rained. We were parked on an embankment and his brand new car was getting stuck in the mud. I offered to steer while he went out in the mud and pushed us out however because we were stuck between concrete pillars from an overpass he didn't trust my steering. He told me to get out and push!!! I had on my brand new $200.00 shoes and was now stuck in the mud up to my ankles. I did manage to push him out however I was now unable to get my feet out of the mud. He was at the top of the embankment watching me merely instructing me on how to get my feet out of the muck. With one major heave hoe I pulled my foot out of the mud only to realize my shoes were still stuck. I got to laughing so hard that I feel forward and now my forearms and hands are full of slimy mud. I have now sunk back into the mud. He put two garbage bags on his feet and waddled over to me. He told me to lean over his back and pull myself out. It worked. Seeing that I was covered from head to toe in mud and looking at his new car he decided that his car was more important so he openned up the trunk of his new car and told me to sit in it but to keep my muddy feet and arms hanging out so as not to get his new trunk dirty. Cars wizzed by honking at such a site. Can you believe what a jerk that guys was??? I did manage to get back at him though - I MARRIED THE HIM. He was eventually arrested and plead guilty to spousal abuse. Ya think the car incident would have been a sign LOL 
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5/3/2008 13h07 |
The Snow Date---I met a cute, interesting little thing in a local bar and set up a date for the next saturday. Saturday arrives and there is a raging blizzard outside. I call sweet thing up and we agree to meet at a local park with a huge sled hill. I figure a little booze will warm us up and make things more fun, so I stop at party store on the way and grab a pint of Jaeger. I finally get to the place and there is only one car in the parking lot. It's her and she looks great,only one problem. This girl has put her car over the parking block and got it stuck. I'm driving a jeep so I tell her not to worry I will save the day. I pull out my tow strap and hook her car up. next I drop the 4WD and start to pull. Got the car unstuck but it looks like she may have split her oil pan. "Can't drive it like that, honey. What do you want to do?" She tells me she only lives a few miles away and we could have her "friend" fix her car. Her "friend" broke my jaw for my trouble.
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hahaha... agreed
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5/3/2008 10h53 |
It was my Senior prom night. We were disappointed with the prom so we went to the drive-in and got in a little fondling and finger-banging. We then went to a club, where I was left for an old boyfriend of hers that had cheated on her not more then 4 months earlier. I wound up meeting family for an after bar closing breakfast where the still sweaty couple soon showed up and she had asked if she could join our table, I said okay like an idiot. After the meal, her ex got up, paid for his meal and left without her. I wound up paying for her meal,gave a ride to her place and was told that she enjoyed the nights events and that we should do it again sometime soon.
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This is a date that really has two parts. The first part goes this way: I was working on an inland barge, working 5 & 2 (5days working, 2 days off), living on the barge for 5 days. Someone was required to stay on the barge for the 2 days off, so I volunteered. I sent my clothes home with a friend to be washed. I was 18, and still living at home with my mom. When my friend came to work on Monday, he said my girlfriend washed my clothes. This was strange because I had no girlfriend at the time. I went in Friday to see who this was. It was a lady who my sister babysat for. Cool, she was 28, pretty hot, with big breasts, so I was very impressed. I slept with her the first night, and it was nice. Well, from there, we set up a date, with her taking me out on the town. As I said before, i'm 18 and she's 28. She has a 6 yr. old girl. Anyway, she takes me to this bar/club. We go in and walk up to the bar. It was a nice place, but I noticed it was a Gay bar right off. Men would come in and kiss the bartender, most kisses being deep ones. I was quite comprehensive, but I did not judge. After all, I knew what I had and what I was getting. We started drinking and playing pool, having fun. The music was awesome, and I started cutting up, dancing and singing at the pool table. From there, things seemed fine. Well, I had to go to the bathroom, so i went. I had to shit, lol, so I did. Well, my date thought i had left with a gay guy. She was pissed off. She said I was showing off at the pool table, which was absurd. We left there, heading back home. I should have went to my home at that point, but i wanted to get laid. We talked about what had happened, and she told me she was married. She also said she cut her husband off, giving him no sex, to the point where he got drunk and had sex with one of her friends, Her Gay Male Friend. Man, I was tripping at this point. She said lets go to bed, wierd I know, but we went. In bed, she pulled out some baby oil and gave me one of the hottest massages I have ever had, up to then and now. I was so hard it hurt. I needed it so bad. She rolled over and said she was tired and going to sleep. That was not what i had in mind, for sure. I rubbed on her, yet she refused to give in. I took the baby oil and began massaging her. I rubbed her back, feet, legs, and thighs. At her thighs, I passed over her pussy lips, scraping them gently, but showing them no attention. She rolled over and I massaged her front. Feet, legs, neck, breasts, and thighs. Again, while rubbing her tits, i'd barely touch her nipples, and I did the same with her pussy, rubbing around it, but just slightly grazing her clit and lips. She was horny, so horny, you could see it in her eyes. She wanted me for sure. At this point, I rolled over and said I was sleepy. She rubbed my dick and tried to get me to turn over, but I refused. Turnabout is fair play. Needless to say, she was pissed. She got out of bed, picked up my clothes, and kicked me out. I never talked to her again. Is there a moral here, Who Knows. I did learn alot though. You have to be able to take it if your going to dish it out.
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5/3/2008 10h03 |
I met a couple on passion who said they were new and were looking to expand their sexual experiences. According to the profile pics they were both in great shape and although he stated he was straight and was just looking for someone to please his wife, I was interested in meeting them. We chatted online a few times and seemed to connect so we made arrangements to meet. They invited me over and gave me very detailed directions to their house with the expectation I was going to fuck his wife while he watched. When I arrived I thought I was at the wrong house. The couple that answered the door was NOT the couple in the pics! At first I thought about posing as one of those door-to-door religious people so I could just walk away. But of course I had already messed that up by sending them a face pic, so I was stuck. I went in and sat on the couch. The guy walks over to me and reaches down and begins to pull on the button to my jeans. I asked, "Dude, what the hell are you doing?" He responded I was there to get fucked so why waste time? I told him that no, that wasn't what we had chatted about to which he smiled and said he knew, but he wanted a piece of my ass first before I fucked his wife. I turned my attention to the wife and wasn't sure if I wanted my cock to go anywhere near her cunt because I was sure there was something in there that would either break it off or make it rot the minute I walked out the door! I stood up and said that I thought there had been a mistake. I don't like liars and I felt I had been lied to by the pics they claimed were theirs. For some reason this made the guy mad and he hit me, damn near knocking me out. I fell back on the couch and they both were on me like stink on shit, trying to get my pants off. Before I knew it he had my cock in his mouth and she was rubbing her clit while watching him. I decided what the hell, at least I was getting a blow-job for my trouble. She came over and pushed her nasty pussy toward my face and I pushed her away. I certainly wasn't going to put my mouth anywhere close to that nasty thing! He didn't seem to notice and kept sucking my now hard cock. It wasn't long before I shot my load of cum into his mouth then I pushed him away and ran out of the door. My pants were unbuttoned and my cock was still half hanging out when I got to my car but I was just glad to be out of there! That night I had an e-mail from them saying they wanted me to come over for the weekend. Of course that never happened!
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I met him online, and thought he was amazing. We clicked, and it was like I had found my soul mate. He lived in another city, but came to visit........ ... and didnt leave for FIVE years (but only fucked me 3 times). He mind fucked me completely, spent all my money, and stole my heart. Long story short
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