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Never Be Ashamed Of A Scar  

sexyldy1000 68F  
10184 messages
20/7/2020 12h09
Never Be Ashamed Of A Scar




Recently, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about being a cancer survivor. It's not something I hide but at the same time, I don't mention it in my profile nor during initial conversations. He chastised me for not declaring my 'status' and that I should shout it from the rooftops!

As I look at it, it's a part of who I am but it doesn't define who I am. I don’t want it 'to' be the centre of conversation. I am fully recovered and have since had another life-threatening illness, less than two years ago. Does that make sense 'to' you?

Let me share a story:
I have 2 small scars on my chest, below my collarbone. I am much less aware of them now and they are only visible depending on the neckline of what I wear. If you look closely at the second picture on my profile, you can spot them.

One time, I met someone new for dinner. After our order was taken, we were sipping cocktails and continuing 'to' get 'to' know each other. At one point, he looked at me and said, ‘What happened to you? Did you get knifed in a fight?’ I almost choked! I put my drink down, looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘No asshole. Those are from my chemo port that saved my life!’ With that, I excused myself and left without turning around. Was he nervous and misspoke? Did I overreact? It doesn’t matter as I have never regretted my decision.

I used 'to' feel obliged 'to' warn a potential partner about my scars (I have a few other ones). However, no one else has ever mentioned them nor asked me about them. Although most have faded, they will always remind me of where I have been. If someone can’t see past them, they aren’t the type of people I want to be around.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
20/7/2020 12h14

One of my favourite songs is 'Scars To Your Beautiful' by Alessia Cara
Below are my favourite lines from it which should be a reminder to everyone:
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful


justaguyinalaska 57H
879 messages
20/7/2020 12h46

Progress in *health care* and affluence has made near-flawless bodies an option, primarily for plutocrats. Compounding this trend toward ultra-vanity are high-tech cosmetics, teeth bleaching/replacement and the all-too-familiar photo-shopping. Sadly, the *Heidelberg dueling scars* of yore have faded as sexy badges-of-courage.

A long life in the *tall grass* all over the world has imprinted me with a collection of scars. To riff on Rod Stewart, *every picture tells a story*. And such stories (including your own challenges) are far more enthralling and character-defining than a visit to your plastic surgeon for blemish removal or nose straightening.


needsomefun21515 58H

20/7/2020 12h54

sexyldy, Being a person that has some scares as well some very visible. I totally respect you and the way you handle yourself. It's one thing if they ask you if you want to talk about them. Another if the just assume you want to talk about them.


lonlyforlove2 81H  
32704 messages
20/7/2020 12h58

Glad you had the balls to get up and leave, some one that would make such a remark does not deserve your company.. I have scars, I was visited by melanoma about 12 years back and it left me with a scar in the center lower part of my back that is ugly. but After 2 surgeries, removal of a bunch of lymph nodes; it was noted that it had not spread, and I made it, NO more sunshine, no tan lines just be careful and continue to watch for any recurrence other than that just life time battle scares, but They don't bother me and is none of any one else's issues.. Glad you made it and hopeful that you will enjoy a healthy life.. Be safe..don't let the new bug get to you!!

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


easyrider4008 67H
2562 messages
20/7/2020 13h39

I have known women that have had C/ sections and don't want to show the scars and never get totally naked, I just think that none of us are perfect so it probably in the main doesn't make any difference to your mate.


brandnewman2003 62H
1278 messages
20/7/2020 13h51

I love your resolve to never sit idle and just accept ignorant criticism. The old expression " Nip It In The Bud ", is definitely what you did.


aman4u1962a 61H
1979 messages
20/7/2020 14h05

I agree with you. Most of us have some type of body imperfections, scars, stretch marks, etc. I view them as signs you're a real person, whose led a real life. It's part of who you are.


1salesman3 69H
7623 messages
20/7/2020 14h11

Blessed you are healthy now. Never be concerned about small minds.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 messages
20/7/2020 14h17

Scars are a fact of life my friend, I have one from my four c-sections, then I have a jagged one on my left arm, from a glass falling out of a window and cutting one of my blood veins open.

I am so glad that you finally shared this story with us, and congratulations to for being a Cancer Survivor. And you know you have to do what feels right for you when they say things like that to you, as it wasn't very nice.

If someone really wants to get to know you, and have a relationship with you then no scars that you have should matter. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


thikhead 67H
3346 messages
20/7/2020 14h17

they call "hickeys" love-marks, and moles beauty-marks,
guess you can consider scars "LIFE-marks" ?

my only openly visible ones (when clothed), thank god,
are many simple oven-rack burns on my arms
collected over the years.
but i DID once have a doctor ask if i did "cutting".
at least it WAS his business to ask.

as far as your date casually asking, i can see it,
but going right to "knife-fight"? BIG warning flag.

good move moving on asap

"well only get through this if we work together. if we dont, none of us will"


shoot_blanks 81H

20/7/2020 14h21

I have a beauty of a scar running sown from just below my navel to a few inches above..... I am a prostate cancer survivor and have lived without a prostate since August 2002. I can no longer ejaculate, have not had a normal/natural erection since August 17, 2002 and no longer ooze precum at the beginning of festivities. The worst part is that the surgery cut a hole in my urinary system and I drip. But, I'm alive, cancer free and still have magnificent orgasms....


mc_justmc 64H

20/7/2020 16h38

I don't have any tattoos but I've got some nice scars. I've always said tattoos are bought, but scars are earned. My Ex had a scar that ran from one side to the other side across her throat from gland surgery, it was so sexy....


p1947q 77H  
140 messages
20/7/2020 16h52

[image}

for the courage to share


trixietrixster 56F  
3125 messages
20/7/2020 17h52

A while back, I did a blog on scars as well. I've got several due to surgery for auto immune system issues. My under arms look like they were sewn back together - bout a 12 inch scar under my left boob - somewhat faded now. And, several others. Like you, I won't let them define me ... they give us character ... show that we lived life and not just sat on the sidelines. What a fucking douche bag he was to say something like that. No - don't think you overreacted. If he was truly interested in knowing, I believe he absolutely should have been more tactful. Way to go for fighting and being a survivor of such a terrible illness, brave, brave lady! *snuggles*

In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...


boobwhisperer69 61H  
8322 messages
20/7/2020 18h51

They are just part of life!! Meant that you lived and you are still alive!!!


Paulxx001 67H
22642 messages
20/7/2020 19h24

hmmm... I guess everyone has a scar of some sort or another. Some are just more visible.


Dark_Star1972 51H
743 messages
21/7/2020 12h13

    Citer sexyldy1000:
    One of my favourite songs is 'Scars To Your Beautiful' by Alessia Cara
    Below are my favourite lines from it which should be a reminder to everyone:
    You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
    And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
    No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful

That is an amazing song! It's the song that made me a fan of hers.

The Darkstar

The Bearded One: Dark_Star1972
_______________________________


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h30

    Citer justaguyinalaska:
    Progress in *health care* and affluence has made near-flawless bodies an option, primarily for plutocrats. Compounding this trend toward ultra-vanity are high-tech cosmetics, teeth bleaching/replacement and the all-too-familiar photo-shopping. Sadly, the *Heidelberg dueling scars* of yore have faded as sexy badges-of-courage.

    A long life in the *tall grass* all over the world has imprinted me with a collection of scars. To riff on Rod Stewart, *every picture tells a story*. And such stories (including your own challenges) are far more enthralling and character-defining than a visit to your plastic surgeon for blemish removal or nose straightening.
The strive for perfection has wared perceptions and set unrealistic expectations. The proverb, ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ by Irish novelist Margaret Hungerford should be the mantra for all. Thank you for sharing your viewpoint.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h32

    Citer needsomefun21515:
    sexyldy, Being a person that has some scares as well some very visible. I totally respect you and the way you handle yourself. It's one thing if they ask you if you want to talk about them. Another if the just assume you want to talk about them.
It is a bond that many of us share. Would you ask someone how they lost a limb? I would certainly hope not!. Thank you for stopping by.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h36

    Citer lonlyforlove2:
    Glad you had the balls to get up and leave, some one that would make such a remark does not deserve your company.. I have scars, I was visited by melanoma about 12 years back and it left me with a scar in the center lower part of my back that is ugly. but After 2 surgeries, removal of a bunch of lymph nodes; it was noted that it had not spread, and I made it, NO more sunshine, no tan lines just be careful and continue to watch for any recurrence other than that just life time battle scares, but They don't bother me and is none of any one else's issues.. Glad you made it and hopeful that you will enjoy a healthy life.. Be safe..don't let the new bug get to you!!
I have always tried my best to act respectfully even if there was no 'connection'. My reaction was immediate and without hesitation. The reality is that now, one in two people will be touched by cancer. Scary but something we all need to be aware of. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story. Nope, that damned COVID isn't going to be My undoing!


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h38

    Citer easyrider4008:
    I have known women that have had C/ sections and don't want to show the scars and never get totally naked, I just think that none of us are perfect so it probably in the main doesn't make any difference to your mate.
I also have 2 C-section scars (it was explained they cannot go through the original one). I have heard that many are self-conscious of them. I agree. It shouldn't matter to your love mate. If it does, they should be that person with you.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h39

    Citer brandnewman2003:
    I love your resolve to never sit idle and just accept ignorant criticism. The old expression " Nip It In The Bud ", is definitely what you did.
I felt it was completely inappropriate and that he needed to be educated. Thank you for stopping by.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h41

    Citer aman4u1962a:
    I agree with you. Most of us have some type of body imperfections, scars, stretch marks, etc. I view them as signs you're a real person, whose led a real life. It's part of who you are.
Agree with your perspective. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your take on it.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h54

    Citer 1salesman3:
    Blessed you are healthy now. Never be concerned about small minds.
Thank you. I feel blessed every day when I wake up


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 messages
21/7/2020 3h58

    Citer Tmptrzz:
    Scars are a fact of life my friend, I have one from my four c-sections, then I have a jagged one on my left arm, from a glass falling out of a window and cutting one of my blood veins open.

    I am so glad that you finally shared this story with us, and congratulations to for being a Cancer Survivor. And you know you have to do what feels right for you when they say things like that to you, as it wasn't very nice.

    If someone really wants to get to know you, and have a relationship with you then no scars that you have should matter. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day..
I kind of don't like the word 'survivor'. My more recent health issues (almost two years ago) were even more 'life and death'. It's why I feel blessed every morning when I wake up to face another day. Thank you for your ongoing support .


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