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Sexy Sayings  

stormyjan 50F  
132 messages
4/6/2011 7h16
Sexy Sayings


. 1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big dick or a good memory. I don’t remember what I chose. DUH

. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory..

. 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

. 4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings….’

. 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ’stop’, ….. unless they are used together.

. 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

. 7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

. 8. Virginity can be cured.

. 9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss? ….. A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under. MY favorite.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole …. and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? ….. A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? ….. A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!!

It was a dark and stormy night
I had my best orgasm.




horny196364 60H

4/6/2011 8h20

love to chat with you sometime


SueBQ 61F
99 messages
8/6/2011 22h19

#13 is my new favorite as well!


LickYouGood63 61H

13/6/2011 5h55

Love #13


rm_tenmer1 36H
4 messages
14/6/2011 22h52

These are awesome, thanks for the post


SlowBurnForYou 61H

15/6/2011 7h19

Yup lucky #13 is great but #7 & 10 cracked me up huge! Thanks, Stormy!


delivertoher1 62H

21/6/2011 7h47

Lmao!


Cutoso1 34H
339 messages
13/7/2011 7h25

Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.


dajagr 65H

1/9/2011 4h25

I love you're sense of humor, I'm guessing you would be a great person to be with. I also must join on the #13 band wagon, but there all hilarious. Thanks.


rm_Northstar474 77H
55 messages
2/9/2011 9h10

May I suggest:

If the good Lord hadn't intended man to eat pussy, he wouldn't have made it look so much like a taco.

"Honey, are you dry or am I licking the rug?"


_JKH_ 70H
5448 messages
13/11/2011 12h55

Good ones !

~ ~


hornysenior4 68H  
1391 messages
29/3/2012 19h57

All Good!! Not a bad one in the Bunch! Yes, I like 13 too! Haven't heard it! No Old Guy Jokes tho. LOL!!


chaso5 65H

28/10/2015 16h39

Love the Australian Kiss!


joey33483 60H
186 messages
17/10/2016 6h05

*** MEN,, WOMAN,, Its very hard, to getting past this woman sweet~~ ass !!
Yes ,, will bring tears to your ~~ eyes .. Buttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
When you do,, MY,MY,--- THAT ONE DELICIOUS (( I.Q. ) AAAA- SENSUOUS
BRAIN ,, IF IT HAD ( NIPPLE ) LOVE TO SUCKLE !!!!!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOO-- COME ON THERE"s,, A FREAK IN EVERY-ONE !!!
AAA-- FAN ~~ MAN ~~@@ THE ~~ BEACH...........

DON"T AUDIT LIFE, SHOW UP AND MAKE THE MOST OF IT NOW
JOEY @ THE BEACH


joey33483 60H
186 messages
7/11/2016 8h34

*** A - lady ,, that make you laugh &&&& pop , your~~ cherry !!!
What not to ,, like Buttttttttttttttttttttt-- PERFECT !!
AA-- FAN..

DON"T AUDIT LIFE, SHOW UP AND MAKE THE MOST OF IT NOW
JOEY @ THE BEACH


AvonEng357 71H
82 messages
9/12/2016 17h29

Luv the bling. I have to blow it up to read the text.
I also like the Sexy stories Laughing through the whole list
Stay safe I saw on an big chain reaction yesterday near Detroit


newfuphere 59H
220 messages
21/5/2017 4h32

love them all 13 wins for sure. you are a very creative lively lady. bet ur a laugh at parties. ("Sexy Sayings") use Sexy Sayings


sweetshaft4u69 47H  
3 messages
30/5/2017 15h57

I like it!


Paulxx001 67H
22642 messages
6/7/2018 10h07

Funny. Some good ones hear that I'd never heard before...


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