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| Blogs > rm_otsana > Journey of Self Discovery |
All things come to a end
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All things come to a end I find it ironic that we as human beings tend to gravitate and create the situations that we are trying so hard to stay away from. I myself am not immune to this self sabotage as has been demonstrated over and over this yr with JJ. Form the first time he disappeared on me I knew and yet I continued on with our game of cat and mouse. I knew that once again I had attracted to me a man that was damaged and emotionally bankrupt. I told myself it didn't matter because I wasn't looking for love or anything long term... Awh the very naive girl..tried to fool herself that just because she wasn't in love she wouldn't be caught up and still care about his well being. He's on a track of self destruction by his own admission and there is nothing that I can do to deter him.. I would like to fool myself into believing that his fear of emotional connection, is why he pulls back from me. Because if he doesn't keep the distance he may actually find ..there is something to live for. In reality I doubt that to be the case. Though I would probably stick with it until the end and he drowned himself in liquor once and for all. I am letting it go, acknowledging that I have done all I can in this situation. I have held out my hand and it has been slapped down. I will miss his pictures, video's.. I will miss most everything about him, but all things come to a end or they destroy you, and as much as I care for him and wish him to find his way. I will not be destroyed by his own self destruction or allow myself to be dragged back into a situation where I am putting others needs before my own. OTSANA{=} |
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Tough decision but, good for you!
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