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| Blogs > gymrat1974 > ManwranglerJen |
An Evening of Cliches
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An Evening of Cliches So I flirted with this guy a couple of months back, and we've talked about meeting when we could get our schedules to align. However, he lives about 2 and a half hours away and I f he came to see me, I wouldn't be able to host, but he would be able to if I went to him. So, he invited me over last night, but by the time I would be able to get to him, it was going to be pretty late, and I would have to turn around and go home early this morning because I had a prior obligation. So, we agreed that I would go and see him today after my schedule cleared. I figured I would get there much earlier, and we would have more time to play before I had to leave. Admittedly, I was already breaking my own rules because I am pretty steadfast in the rule that I don't travel to meet anyone, and I definitely don't like to go to the home of someone I have never met before. However, I wasn't really getting a bad vibe from him, so I agreed to go. As it turned out, it was not until closer to 7 o'clock in the evening before he became free, so our entire day dwindled down to just a few evening hours. But he is adorable, and I would love to spend some time with him, so I decided to just make the drive anyway. I understood that I was not going to get there before 9 PM, and I probably wouldn't stay but a couple of hours before I would have to make the drive home, but I am always turning down fun experiences because timing sucks or because I have many obligations, and I'm tired of it. But as I'm driving down a seemingly endless bleak road, it occurs to me that this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I'm breaking my own rules, and I'm traveling to meet someone who doesn't seem to be giving me a whole lot of consideration. I didn't want him to have to pay for a hotel room, but he doesn't seem to mind that I'm using nearly a full tank of gas. Plus we're not even going to have all that much time to spend together when the original plan was the entire day. So, I'm about 65 miles into my journey, and I turned around and I go home. Now, I realize I'm basically out an hour's worth of time and about hundred and twenty miles worth of gas by the time I get home, but I decide to just cut my office because it could potentially end up being four hours worth of wasted time and more than 200 miles in gas. Of course, I'm sure I could have asked him for gas money, but that's not the point. The point is how would I expect him to be considerate of my needs in the bedroom if he didn't see to it to be considerate of my needs outside of the bedroom? Now, I am sure that some of you will say I was stupid for going in the first place or even considering it, and some of you will say I was stupid for turning around when I was about halfway there. But what I feel stupid for is the failure to stick to my guns. I need to remember that I created boundaries for a reason, and I need to live within those boundaries and expect everyone I allow into my life to live within those boundaries as well because it is when I allow those boundary lines to become gray areas that things in my life fall apart. And while some rules are meant to be broken, there are plenty of others that were created with sound reasoning. Beyond that, there are plenty of guys in Birmingham I would love to spend time with, who would also enjoy spending time with me and have expressed that desire, so why would I travel to meet someone under these circumstances, especially? To be worth that, his cock would have to be pretty damned magnificent, and that's a pretty rare occurrence. In the end, I realize that I cannot be angry or disappointed in him for any reason. I am, however, irritated with myself because I should have known better, and I should have just stayed home. But I will just chalk it up to being a much needed reminder about the rules and boundaries I have created for myself and maybe even a call to use good judgment. |
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what was his reply when he found out you were not going to show up?
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Wow...I'm shocked you even considered to travel. Interesting read though. By the way I'm traveling to you Beautiful! 
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Ms. Gymrat, I think you came to your senses in the nick of time. Did the two of you discuss meeting midway? Your concern about not wanting him to pay for a hotel is considerate but he should have "gentleman-ed" up and paid for a room. I'm sure you are worth it.
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I think that he should of offered to make the journey to your area and get a hotel room for the night or a weekend, especially on your first meet with him. That way, you are comfortable being close to your home. I have done that and it make the person feel as ease. Now, in saying that, I have traveled and got a hotel, to supposely meet someone only to be stood up. They would say something came up or some excuse. Hope that this helps you. Please feel free to read my blog at Losnewf Thoughts
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I'm not new to Internet dating. I think we've all had bad, crazy, weird experiences. It's a shame you paid for the hotel before she actually arrived. I guess If you felt you needed reservations, then paying up front was the only way. However, my rule is to meet first. I don't like to obligate myself to anything. Meeting for coffee, especially if he's local is a good way to break the ice without pressure.
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If you're travelling that far make sure you have a weekend together to make it worthwhile.
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You were right to turn around. You don't need to chase anyone. If you were a priority to him he would have found a way.
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I agree.
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You absolutely made the right call to turn around! Meetings are a 2 way street. If he is not considerate enough to understand that he too must make some sort of effort, he isn't worth it. There are a lot of "crazies" out there and a woman especially needs to be cautious. Men do too, but I think there are more "crazy" men to women. I have found that it is best to always meet in a neural setting, someplace public. And if there is a great deal of distance involved, if "he" is not willing to make the long drive to you, (again to a public place), then half way is the considerate thing to do.
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