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Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved.....

Fat Girls Don't Jump
 

secret_lade 49F
14389 messages
4/11/2020 3h46
Fat Girls Don't Jump

I was on my way to work, yesterday morning, when I was cut off by a shitty black Jeep Grand Cherokee on a lift kit with that decal squarely placed in the lower right hand corner of the rear view window.

'Fat Girls Don't Jump'

And, I thought to myself....

Self, what the fuck does that mean?? I'm a fat girl, I have the ability to jump. Maybe it's a line from a movie.... If so, what movie and why haven't I seen it on a meme yet?? Perhaps it means jumping from something... Like a plane??

Perhaps they can't jump from the door of your lifted shit box Jeep.

I can honestly say, if I had to free fall from that rusted piece of shit, possibly exposing myself to injury and tetanus, I'd pass on that too.

The more burning question to me, however, was why in the hell would someone pay to have a decal like that made to begin with?

In a sea of stick families, athletic accomplishments, and Jesus fishes.... We have this redneck who thinks Fat Girls Don't Jump.

Classy!

If you're worried about standing out in a crowd.... Never fear. The smell of burning oil and the sound of your loud exhaust indicate you are coming long before you ever arrive. All eyes will already be on you as you cut your way through traffic, pissing everyone off, one car at a time.

Happy Tuesday!

secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
10/11/2020 15h32
    Citer stevenjamison207:
    Hi! What a great topic that I have a lot of interest and experience in these days. I hope to learn and chat more about it with you. Please reach out to me and let's meet locally, but travel with right situation.
Oh good lord. ... Lol


stevenjamison207 55H
56 messages
10/11/2020 10h16

 Hi! What a great topic that I have a lot of interest and experience in these days. I hope to learn and chat more about it with you. Please reach out to me and let's meet locally, but travel with right situation.


iraduu 44H
3598 messages
7/11/2020 8h10

 my dick is very strong for fucking in fat girls


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
5/11/2020 14h51
    Citer citizen4722:
    He'd better remove that decal before the girls remove his dick an all!
They'd have to be able to find it first... LOL


citizen4722 66H  
74582 messages
5/11/2020 7h22

 He'd better remove that decal before the girls remove his dick an all!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
5/11/2020 2h00
    Citer Uaniok:
    Why do women think like that--thick an beautiful--not a stick
In this case... It was on a man's vehicle. So, I'm thinking it was a man who was having these thoughts.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
5/11/2020 1h53
    Citer easy_going2014:
    Jerry Jeff Walker - "Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother"

    He was born in Oklahoma
    And his wife's name is Betty Lou Thelma Liz
    He's not responsible for what he's doing
    His mother made him what he is
    And it's up against the wall, redneck mother
    Mother who has raised her son so well
    He's thirty four and drinkin' in a honky tonk
    Just kickin' hippies' asses and raisin' hell
    Sure does like his Falstaff beer
    He likes to chase it down with that Wild Turkey liquor
    He drives a '57 GMC pickup truck
    Got a gun rack
    "A Goat Roper needs love too" sticker
He really got that stereotype down to a T! LOL I see a lot of rednecks where I live, here, it's kind of like the way of life for a lot of people as they choose this way of life. Some evolve as a result of that redneck mother... Some do not, though. My oldest son? Redneck by choice. I think you know I didn't raise him that way....


easy_going2014 57H
Demandez-moi une photo
14366 messages
4/11/2020 22h04

 Jerry Jeff Walker - "Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother"

He was born in Oklahoma
And his wife's name is Betty Lou Thelma Liz
He's not responsible for what he's doing
His mother made him what he is
And it's up against the wall, redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well
He's thirty four and drinkin' in a honky tonk
Just kickin' hippies' asses and raisin' hell
Sure does like his Falstaff beer
He likes to chase it down with that Wild Turkey liquor
He drives a '57 GMC pickup truck
Got a gun rack
"A Goat Roper needs love too" sticker
To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


Uaniok 63H  
3 messages
4/11/2020 22h01

 Why do women think like that--thick an beautiful--not a stick


SirlickalotNM 61H  
147 messages
4/11/2020 17h13

 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105812/


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h59
    Citer positively4you:
    What a charming man. Im sure the women just love him.
How could they not?!? LOL


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h58

 LOL That's good to know!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h57
    Citer superbjversion2:
    Hmmm? Can't jump in or can't jump out? Depends, I suppose on whether or not he likes fat girls. That's me being nice and trying to think positively.

    My gut response - But we can break your balls as soon as you climb out!
I'm guessing this guy doesn't like fat girls... It's his loss. If I had the opportunity to love someone...


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h46
    Citer MrWrong4RghtNow:
    Oh. I misread that sticker. I was offended when I thought it said Fat Girls Can’t Hump.
    Seriously, it’s just another sign of misogyny in our society. Men who either feel an unwarranted sense of superiority or are threatened by women in general.
    Would it be ok if I put a sticker up saying Fat Girls Can Jump My Bones? Because they can if they like. ...
I bet if you did put that sticker up, you'd become infinitely more desirable to women. LOL Society has conditioned us to judge others based on the superficial. I think in a lot of cases, a guy can feel less superior if his mate isn't viewed upon as ideal.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h39

 I agree!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h37

 OMG! Really?? LOL That's quite a sticker!

Apparently those guys with the jacked up vehicles don't realize, it's the bigger gals that make the best lovers. Curvy bodies with supple breasts... Warm and fleshy, comfortable.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h26
    Citer 2muchlivingleft:
    The meaning of the saying had me puzzled, too. I'd also never heard that expression. From your description of the POS rust bucket, it sounded like something I'd see in my neck of the woods.

    So I did a little research and found some very similar expressions. "Lift it, Fat girls can't jump" and "Jack it up, Fat girls can't jump." Some of the decals featured silhouettes of jacked up vehicles, making the implication that if the truck is lifted high enough, fat girls can't get inside.

    Now, being brought up in the South, I was taught not to speak ill of folks who aren't as blessed as myself, or who were facing some sort of disability. Clearly these poor boys are battling self-esteem issues. More often than not they suffer from little man syndrome brought on by shortness of stature and/or lack of endowment. Oh dear!

    It's hard not to pity these poor boys who know they can't handle the real women of the world. No wonder they're spiteful. Can you imagine knowing you'd never, ever be able to satisfy a woman of substance? The best part of living is beyond their grasp, so they lash out like the little boys they are. Bless their hearts.
I agree with you.... Men like that are unhappy. They tend to be single or in unhappy relationships. They are never satisfied with what personal belongings they have and rarely have any money to speak of. Thick or thin, a beautiful girl is still beautiful. It's their loss if they are unable to see it.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h18
    Citer lLbow2459:
    Having to google LOTS of things things these days.....try it, it helps!!! LOL!!
I didn't have time to look into it this morning... So I googled it when I got home. Thankfully I have knowledgeable readers who can fill me in from time to time.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h15
    Citer redmustang91:
    Take off on the line from the movie "White men can't jump" which is untrue.
I googled it, it's a derogatory saying for vehicles with lift kits.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h11
    Citer WyoCowboy7751:
    There are Those that use a JEEP for hill climbing and off road !!!
    Then there are those that are tickled too death that their JEEP can get over a speed bump or curb and they don't even feel the bounce !!!
    He sounds like the type that would go into a flat field; drive over a mole hill, gopher hole or prairie dog mound and be extremely proud of the accomplishment
To be honest, I think his shitty Jeep would fall off the lift kit if he did do any amount of hill climbing or off roading... The tires looked like they cost twice as much as the actual vehicle.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h09

 It was definitely an attempt to throw insult.... I think his jeep must have been shitty enough that part of the decal was missing. A few of the commenters above had the actual saying in their comments. I think any woman worth any amount of value would see that on the back of his car and think twice about whether or not he was worthy. He is definitely not worthy.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 16h02
    Citer countrygal848:
    That jerk doesn't want to show up this way, or this fat girl will show him how high fat girls can jump-- and land on his skinny worthless ass!!
I like your sass!!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
4/11/2020 15h59
    Citer XHamburgDave:
    lol Your last paragraph says it all!! Have a wonderful Wednesday

    P.S. I have absolutely NO Idea what the Sticker means either
A few of my commenters did know.... And, it's negative. Of course... I didn't expect anything less. People like that end up living an unhappy life, they will never be satisfied with what they have.


positively4you 74F  
4605 messages
4/11/2020 13h06

 What a charming man. Im sure the women just love him.


topherific 61H
5209 messages
4/11/2020 9h07

 fat girls CAN jump...on me!


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