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Have you seen my sanity?  

secret_lade 49F
14390 messages
28/2/2021 12h37
Have you seen my sanity?


I lost it somewhere between the moment my hair dryer blew up in my hand and the moment I accidentally maced myself with dry shampoo...

I blame it on the Wolowitzes.

It's a certainty that I may never recover from the PTSD I incurred as a result of hearing them have SEX this morning.

Oh good lord!

While I didn't hear any actual *sex* noises.... Thank God! I did hear her raspy, I smoked a carton of Kool's, voice from down below moaning...

"Oh John.... Oh John.... Oh John...."

It didn't take me long to get my disgusted ass out of there!

I don't think this woman is capable of communicating in any form quieter than stadium roar.

If it's not at the top of her lungs, it's not worth saying!!

So, here I sit now. Red eyed, traumatized, and the underlying smell of burned hair has wafted through my apartment.....

Happy Sunday!

I'm off to a new hair dryer and some hard liquor.

Maybe an eyepatch...

secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
1/3/2021 14h56

    Citer citizen4722:
    Did she burst into song after he left? "Johnny, Remember Me...."
Geez, I hope not... ack!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
1/3/2021 14h55

    Citer lindoboy100:
    Did you ever actually have any sanity?

    I reckon a set of ear plugs would work well too. And you could download one of those fart apps and play it on repeat loudly at the point where the worst of the sound pollution occurs? Maybe a couple of stink bombs to make it more realistic?
I'd like to think I did... But, something tells me I did not.


citizen4722 66H  
74582 messages
1/3/2021 9h00

Did she burst into song after he left? "Johnny, Remember Me...."


lindoboy100 61H
23969 messages
1/3/2021 7h03

Did you ever actually have any sanity?

I reckon a set of ear plugs would work well too. And you could download one of those fart apps and play it on repeat loudly at the point where the worst of the sound pollution occurs? Maybe a couple of stink bombs to make it more realistic?


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
1/3/2021 3h39

    Citer flannel_light:
    I got tried of my neighbor running her mouth about me and telling everyone I had 5 guys over and knowing good we'll she can see who goes and comes from somebody my apartment. If I had that many guys I would not be able to walk. I paid her back one night when I heard her and her boyfriend . I turn my phone to porn and hit the volume up as high as it would go and put it by my bed since her bedroom is next to mine. Not a word from her since.
Nosey neighbors.... Ugh! There's always that *one* neighbor in the apartments that holds that seat. Can't stand them.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
1/3/2021 3h34

    Citer MrWrong4RghtNow:
    I think I saw your sanity on my milk carton. I didn’t think it was you since the person looked like she had stuck her finger in the toaster and tripped into the bathtub. But now that I look closely, yep. That’s your sanity.
If found, please return! LOL


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
1/3/2021 3h33

    Citer mc_justmc:
    you might pick up a bottle of brain bleach while you're out...
Brain bleach.... I wonder if they make such things.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
1/3/2021 3h33

    Citer topherific:
    you need a hug and some noise canceling headphones
Yep... Think I do.


topherific 61H
5209 messages
28/2/2021 20h00

you need a hug and some noise canceling headphones


mc_justmc 64H

28/2/2021 19h43

you might pick up a bottle of brain bleach while you're out...


MrWrong4RghtNow 57H
2439 messages
28/2/2021 18h39

I think I saw your sanity on my milk carton. I didn’t think it was you since the person looked like she had stuck her finger in the toaster and tripped into the bathtub. But now that I look closely, yep. That’s your sanity.

My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 15h27

Well... I'm not completely innocent in all this.... They've probably heard me have sex way more than I've heard them. And, I'm talking the hair pulling and spanking kind....


flannel_light 61F
4586 messages
28/2/2021 15h24

I got tried of my neighbor running her mouth about me and telling everyone I had 5 guys over and knowing good we'll she can see who goes and comes from somebody my apartment. If I had that many guys I would not be able to walk. I paid her back one night when I heard her and her boyfriend . I turn my phone to porn and hit the volume up as high as it would go and put it by my bed since her bedroom is next to mine. Not a word from her since.

The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 15h20

    Citer hippiechick1967:
    I thought to suggest ear plugs too, or some really really loud opera!
I ended up going out to the living room and turning on the tv.


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 15h19

    Citer boobwhisperer69:
    And I forgot..........Aaaaaargh, there she blows!!!!!!!
Ha ha ha... Aye, aye matey!!!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 15h17

Oh, I was tempted.... Decided against it. Lol


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 15h16

    Citer rusty_nail:
    Now you have reminded me of the couple upstairs having sex when I lived in the apartment beneath theirs in Oxford, Ohio.
    When they had sex on Sunday evening, the head board banged the wall which was easy to hear with my bed headed to the same wall. Slow bangs at first. Then it was like the drywall was going to come apart.
    Damn them.

This was a first for them... Never hear this stuff out of their apartment before. The fact that they're so gross makes it that much worse. amp;


rusty_nail 74H  
699 messages
28/2/2021 14h30

Now you have reminded me of the couple upstairs having sex when I lived in the apartment beneath theirs in Oxford, Ohio.
When they had sex on Sunday evening, the head board banged the wall which was easy to hear with my bed headed to the same wall. Slow bangs at first. Then it was like the drywall was going to come apart.
Damn them.


boobwhisperer69 61H  
8322 messages
28/2/2021 14h03

And I forgot..........Aaaaaargh, there she blows!!!!!!!


boobwhisperer69 61H  
8322 messages
28/2/2021 14h01

Own that Pirate body baby!!!!!


hippiechick1967 60F  
13154 messages
28/2/2021 13h59

I thought to suggest ear plugs too, or some really really loud opera!

Elevate me...


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 13h55

    Citer Apollo602021:
    Indeed, it is days like these that hard liquor was invented for!
I've discovered that Jack Daniels makes a 6 pack of hard cola!! Yummo!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 13h52

    Citer Paulxx001:
    Sounds like a plan. 👍 🍷🍷😎❗
Plan executed!


secret_lade 49F
9227 messages
28/2/2021 13h38

Believe me, I was wishing I had them....


Apollo602021 63H

28/2/2021 13h14

Indeed, it is days like these that hard liquor was invented for!

Please become an Apollo602021 blog follower!


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