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Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved.....

How are you doing?  

secret_lade 50F
14441 messages
10/6/2021 2h32
How are you doing?

While most of my coworkers were tactful enough to avoid the subject of my son altogether, I did have a few that stopped by my office to flash their... I'm sympathetic of your plight 'for show only' concerns.

I hate people like this.

You don't talk to them, they barely notice you're alive, but suddenly they feel it is necessary to pick the most visible moment of the day to stop by and offer empathy.

They aren't expressing concern. They are cultivating an image.

Fake and Bake was walking past my office yesterday when she decided to stop and back up a step, staring solemnly into my office.

"How are we feeling today."

Her lips were pursed into a forced frown and she was holding her hand across her chest.

"I'm experiencing the deepest most sorrowful pain I've ever experienced in my life."

The look on her face was priceless as she pulled back just a hair, the forced frown pulling up into a contorted half smile, half mouth agape expression. I stared at her as she searched for a response in her mind but could find none.

She shook her head up and down and walked away.

It's amazing what brutal honesty can do to a conversation.

I need to start doing this more often.

Happy Thursday!

secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
11/6/2021 15h12
    Citer justskin1:
    Nothing says fake interest when a we is in there. Your brutally honest response was just right. She did not deserve to have it softened in the least.
    Sad to say the the shock is unlikely to change her shallow ways.
She'll never change, people like that never do. She does go out of her way to avoid me now, I kind of like that part. I always hated being fake nice with her.


justskin1 72H
13175 messages
10/6/2021 20h30

 Nothing says fake interest when a we is in there. Your brutally honest response was just right. She did not deserve to have it softened in the least.
Sad to say the the shock is unlikely to change her shallow ways.
If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 15h19
    Citer 57FredFred:
    You go Girl! You shall survive. Have a good one.
You're right, I will survive. Each day does get easier. I did have one person say to me that I was a good Mom, today, because I let my son make this choice. He had wanted to join the marines, but ended up not doing so because his mom was so against it. He told me he regrets it to this very day that he did not fulfil his dream, and he's in his 50's.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 15h14
    Citer pagancountrygirl:
    Where that hell did that "we" shit come from? lol
    Good for you for letting her know how YOU felt!
Nose Hairs was in my office when someone came in to drop off a congratulatory gift to me today. Really??? People don't realize, this experience is hard for me and it was not my first choice for him. I thought I was going to cry, but I held back those tears.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 15h09
    Citer 69ereatwetpussy:
    I'm doing fine thanks for asking.
    I see you have had you sad times with your son joining the Marine
    I can't fault you for that feeling.
    Any time someone goes into the unknown
    You have to worry
    My nephew is a Marine has a few left to deserve 20 years
    His in Japan with his wife and four children the past 5 years.
    Yet he did 3 tours in the middle east at the beginning of his tours.
    That was tuff.
    I worked with a guy did two your in the middle east he wanted to go back.he was in the middle of action.
    My best friend a Marine during time of piece stay here in the states for 3 years.
    I hope and pray he is safe and comes home a hole person.that your only big worry.metally or physically.
    Xoxox to you there nothing you can do but wait and see where he goes.
    Un less h
You are right! Each and every day that goes by I feel a little bit better. I just miss him so very much. I've actually sent him a couple of texts.... He does not have his phone, but at some point he will be able to have it back. I don't want him to miss out on anything.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 15h04
    Citer mc_justmc:
    I usually give those fake people a fake interested response.
I usually tend to be nice.... But I just don't have it in me right now.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 15h00
    Citer citizen4722:
    I liked the assault and battery you gave to her mind
Thank you. She deserved it.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 14h59
    Citer jolielaide:
    EPIC RESPONSE!!

    you have 'officially' taken up real estate in her brain. ..

    she's gonna think about that for.ever.
She should think about that forever. There were quite a few people milling about who seen the exchange, including my boss and a few other leaders. Hopefully the next time she asks someone how they are doing, she'll be truly authentic in her ask.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 14h54
    Citer CL_Love:
    It is amazing how many people don't really want to hear how you are doing when they ask. I usually soften mine with "OK" (when I'm really not) or "Hanging in" (also when more accurately that would end with "by my fingernails"). Ugh. I'm sending more virtual ((HUGS)). But I'll admit, I both loved your nickname for this one and also your shutting down of her comment. LOL
I actually call her Fake and Bake behind her back at work, too. Eeek! LOL I'm usually just like you, I'll say I'm ok when I'm really not. Most people don't care enough to hear the truth anyway.


CL_Love 51H/50F
425 messages
10/6/2021 14h05

 It is amazing how many people don't really want to hear how you are doing when they ask. I usually soften mine with "OK" (when I'm really not) or "Hanging in" (also when more accurately that would end with "by my fingernails"). Ugh. I'm sending more virtual ((HUGS)). But I'll admit, I both loved your nickname for this one and also your shutting down of her comment. LOL


jolielaide 52F  
1754 messages
10/6/2021 11h27

 EPIC RESPONSE!!

you have 'officially' taken up real estate in her brain. ..

she's gonna think about that for.ever.


citizen4722 66H  
74582 messages
10/6/2021 8h26

 I liked the assault and battery you gave to her mind


mc_justmc 64H

10/6/2021 4h55

 I usually give those fake people a fake interested response.


69ereatwetpussy 61H
6774 messages
10/6/2021 4h22

 I'm doing fine thanks for asking.
I see you have had you sad times with your son joining the Marine
I can't fault you for that feeling.
Any time someone goes into the unknown
You have to worry
My nephew is a Marine has a few left to deserve 20 years
His in Japan with his wife and four children the past 5 years.
Yet he did 3 tours in the middle east at the beginning of his tours.
That was tuff.
I worked with a guy did two your in the middle east he wanted to go back.he was in the middle of action.
My best friend a Marine during time of piece stay here in the states for 3 years.
I hope and pray he is safe and comes home a hole person.that your only big worry.metally or physically.
Xoxox to you there nothing you can do but wait and see where he goes.
Un less h


pagancountrygirl 66F  
Demandez-moi une photo
6466 messages
10/6/2021 4h08

 Where that hell did that "we" shit come from? lol
Good for you for letting her know how YOU felt!
Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


57FredFred 67H  
752 messages
10/6/2021 3h19

 You go Girl! You shall survive. Have a good one.


secret_lade 50F
9227 messages
10/6/2021 2h35

 While most of my coworkers were tactful enough to avoid the subject of my son altogether, I did have a few that stopped by my office to flash their... I'm sympathetic of your plight 'for show only' concerns.

I hate people like this.

You don't talk to them, they barely notice you're alive, but suddenly they feel it is necessary to pick the most visible moment of the day to stop by and offer empathy.

They aren't expressing concern. They are cultivating an image.

Fake and Bake was walking past my office yesterday when she decided to stop and back up a step, staring solemnly into my office.

"How are we feeling today."

Her lips were pursed into a forced frown and she was holding her hand across her chest.

"I'm experiencing the deepest most sorrowful pain I've ever experienced in my life."

The look on her face was priceless as she pulled back just a hair, the forced frown pulling up into a contorted half smile, half mouth agape expression. I stared at her as she searched for a response in her mind but could find none.

She shook her head up and down and walked away.

It's amazing what brutal honesty can do to a conversation.

I need to start doing this more often.

Happy Thursday!


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