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| Blogs > mc_justmc > Into The Cornfield |
Grocery Store Dating
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Grocery Store Dating While I was making my shopping list, (cheese, coffee, ground beef), I had a few thoughts about "shopping" for women at the grocery store. The Deli Section: these items are so over-priced you can imagine the taste of the women that shop here. I am neither (monterey jack cheese) wealthy or fresh, so I skip the items AND women in this section. The Bakery Section: Women here may be looking to lose themselves in sweets, which may indicate recent break ups or (small carrot cake) simply a love of sugar. I spend little time here. The Produce Section: This may be one of the best or one of the worst pick up sections. The women here may be (avocados) healthy minded, but could also be health nuts. I'm looking for (tomatoes) a friend NOT a personal trainer. I skip this area as a high risk. I gotta watch what I'm squeezing here... The Canned Food Section: This is a very safe area. I love (tuna) a girl with a can opener! I do most of my "shopping" here. I watch out for (black olives) the ones in the "beans" section, I'm not into those kind of games. The Kitchenwares Section: An excellent area for picking up women. Most kitchen tools look like AND can be used as Sex Toys. Theses women are either Suzy Homemakers or women that are too shy to order (cheese grater) vibrators off the internet. This aisle has high possibilities! The Spice/Baking Section: I love this aisle. I mean, what man (or woman with a strap-on) wouldn't want "put it" to June Cleaver? The women here are so focused on yeasts and herbs it's really hard to get their (fajita seasoning) attention. I like to play dumb with the spices, just mumble things like, "What's the difference between Tarragon and Turmeric?" That usually gets thing started. The Meat Section: Most women here are married, but the best (chicken breast) way to know is by what kind of meat they're buying. Steaks, most likely married, Chicken, possibly available, Liver, walk away, just walk away. The Dairy Section: The best way to shop here is by quantities. More than one gallon of milk says multiple kids at home. Multiple containers of yogurt says possible (cottage cheese) digestive tract issues. Just like the "Bean" section, I'm not into that. The Ice Cream Section: I avoid this aisle at all cost. I don't want to even make eye contact with (popsicles) a woman on this aisle. These women are on the rebound, and while that may be an easy pick up, I know better. This aisle will bite me in the ass. The Medicine Section: Do I need (allergy pills) to say anything about the women found on THIS aisle? They are either prone to headaches OR they have something that needs (astroglide) an ointment. PASS. The Coffee Section: THE BEST FUCKING AISLE IN THE STORE! Any woman I see on this aisle is a potential "soul mate". If you can find (hazel nut creamer) one that spends more than (crystal light tea) 5 minutes on this aisle, she is "wife" material. My favorite place to loiter! The Checkout Section: Any friendships or sexy glances disappear here. There is way too much tension here to make anything happen. The register girl smiles at everybody, so I don't even start with that fantasy, and the girl sacking my groceries is usually a "double bagger" if you know what I mean. I love (deodorant) grocery shopping. Do you? |
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27/4/2018 22h04 |
priming the post 
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That's right you don't have Smart and Finals in your state. in Arizona most people think it's a big box law firm specializing in divorces. Must be the heat. I think you got a classic here Mc. Hope all is well with you and the scooter clinic! Using more than all the road!
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28/4/2018 4h41 |
After reading this grocery shopping will be a new meaning to me. Definately will be checking out some sections more than usual now. 
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28/4/2018 4h43 |
That's right you don't have Smart and Finals in your state. in Arizona most people think it's a big box law firm specializing in divorces. Must be the heat. I think you got a classic here Mc. Hope all is well with you and the scooter clinic!
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Just don’t stand in the cucumber section and smile at pretty women. I need coffee, thanks for the reminder. I will be sure to wear my hottest red lipstick. Men in the coffee section. Who knew?
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28/4/2018 7h03 |
Just don’t stand in the cucumber section and smile at pretty women. I need coffee, thanks for the reminder. I will be sure to wear my hottest red lipstick. Men in the coffee section. Who knew?
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Can't agree more on the topic of liver.    
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Next time I go (trolling) shopping I'm going to use your list and sample the goods.  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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28/4/2018 13h43 |
Can't agree more on the topic of liver.
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28/4/2018 13h53 |
Next time I go (trolling) shopping I'm going to use your list and sample the goods. 
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I had read somewhere on the interweb that men liked to watch women select cucumbers...because most women stroke them, lol.  (I usually squeeze them, lol).This is an awesomely entertaining post, and now when I shop I will be conscious of the gentlemen lurking in the aisles. I suspect that there could be a similar guide written for women "shopping" for men...  "Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black
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Sounds like one excellent shopping store mc hugs V  You find something you like in ever isle. lolBecome a blog watcher sweet_vm
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29/4/2018 16h25 |
I had read somewhere on the interweb that men liked to watch women select cucumbers...because most women stroke them, lol. (I usually squeeze them, lol).This is an awesomely entertaining post, and now when I shop I will be conscious of the gentlemen lurking in the aisles. I suspect that there could be a similar guide written for women "shopping" for men...
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29/4/2018 16h26 |
Sounds like one excellent shopping store mc hugs V You find something you like in ever isle. lol
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I buy my milk by the gallon, and live alone. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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30/4/2018 4h42 |
I managed to duck by those cookie kids when they were out.
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30/4/2018 5h24 |
I buy my milk by the gallon, and live alone.  I'm not sure what I'm eating, but I've been pretty gassy lately. 
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