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| Blogs > VenusRedux2 > Conversing with the Divine |
Handle Initial Rejection Like a Boss
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Handle Initial Rejection Like a Boss How you handle that rejection matters a great deal to her. Most guys fall apart. On the other hand, handling it well can lay the groundwork for her to be receptive next time. That’s the key. Confident men know there will be other opportunities. There will be other nights. There will be other chances. There will even be other women. Needy people, upon given a polite “not tonight,” start negotiating. They beg and plead “Please … just meet me for dinner and a drink … I promise I won’t expect anything more …” Do you really need me to tell you how many things are wrong with that? Women don’t respect this. They don’t want to meet someone who is so needy. Don’t bargain either. “Please … you won’t even have to do anything … I’ll please you and you won’t have to do anything for me …” Seriously, has this ever worked for anyone? Yet I get it all the time. Do you need it spelled out how insanely desperate that sounds? You’ve just established your value on the market as being exactly nothing. You’ve just downgraded your offer in a feeble attempt to make it sound more appealing. You’ve succeeded only in making it less appealing. If you don’t value it, why should I? On a similar vein, “Please … just for 10 minutes to get some coffee …” while not overly sexualized as in the above example, it is still attempting to bargain. The first offer was for sex, now it’s a downgrade to coffee. If that’s what you really wanted all along, then open with that. The way it is now, it’s not taking no for an answer. It is begging. Don’t beg. Ever. All of these examples have one thing in common … they are attempts at altering the expectations. Confident men don’t do this. They’re not ashamed of what they want. They don’t barter for anything less than what they want. It is a clear signal to the woman that they don’t play on that level. Her opinion of you will be irrevocably lowered. You will not recover from it. Don’t bring it up again EVERY subsequent conversation. … “How about today?” … “Today maybe?” … “I’m free today, how does today look?” Women get really annoyed by this. If you want to portray confidence, have subsequent conversations with her that are similar to the conversations from before (which should be fun, flirty, and playful … but not overly sexual). It signals that everything is ok despite the rejection, that it’s not a big deal. Play it off as nothing more than bad timing. That takes tremendous pressure off the next attempt to meet … that’s really what you’re doing here, setting up the subsequent attempts to meet. By taking the initial rejection gracefully, you demonstrate your willingness to walk away and thereby signal confidence. Ideally, you want to put the idea out there so as to signal that you’re interested in meeting. If you come off too strong, it will be off-putting. If it doesn’t come up at all, she’ll wonder where this is all going. Me: I just finished a documentary about the history of General Tso’s Chicken Him: And this is the stuff you find riveting? Me: I’m telling you, it was! Him: This is why you’ll never find a man Me: Shut up! LOL Him: Anyway, I gotta head out and get those errands done. Today feels like a smoothie day. The bakery over on North Main has great smoothies. I’m going to stop there and get one in about half an hour. Feel free to join me if you’re also feeling the urge for one Me: Thanks, but I have things I gotta do Him: That’s fine, another time then, enjoy your day I DARE women to tell me they wouldn’t give that serious consideration. Maybe I won’t put a pair of shoes on right then and there and meet this guy, but he’s definitely going to be given serious consideration down the line. Remember, that’s the goal – Down the line. As opposed to this example here, where he wants a high pressure meet right now: Him: What do you like? Me: I like watching Netflix documentaries Him: About what? Me: Anything really, whatever I come across Him: Any good ones lately? Me: I saw one about General Tso’s Chicken [silence] Him: cool Really? Took you 18 minutes to come up with that? Me: Yeah [more silence] Him: Want to meet up sometime? Me: I barely know you, it is too soon to be talking about meeting Him: What do you want to know? Ouch! Very bad question Me: More than I know now Him: I’m 5’11, 190, blond hair, brown eyes, divorced, no kids Me: Cool. I saw the pic on your profile Him: So you want to meet? Come on, your last request wasn’t even 5 minutes ago, pull yourself together Me: Of course, telling me your height and weight made all the difference to change my mind Him: So you’ll meet? Me: Maybe the sarcasm didn’t come through quite right Him: I’m just saying, there’s no point talking if it’s never going to be a possibility Me: You want me to agree to meet you, and only after agreeing do I get to know you? That’s all kinds of backwards From here on, it degrades into an argument as he tries to rewrite the conversation and insinuating that I somehow misread what he meant. That only serves to make me defensive, so the conversation has nowhere to go but down. Rapidly. In my next post, I’ll discuss this further and give my thoughts as to why first attempts at meeting are almost always bound to fail. Nothing earth shattering. It’s just the mundane reasons of life. I’ll also discuss what makes a tempting offer to meet, so you can be a bit more successful. |
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That was excellent! Just wish there was a way that guys could read this before posting anything. The desperation and begging happens way too often!! It's sickening.
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I thought I commented on this. Good post. kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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Good info, thanks for the tips.
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I feel you, I tried to turn someone down nicely, didn't hear from the guy in two days, well just got a message he will pay to meet, what the fuck? idiot I was nice now I told him to kiss my ass and don't contact me again, I blocked him
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He dribbles to the left... Pump fake... He shoots... .................... REJECTED! Into the 3rd row. He's gotta be feeling embarrassed about that. That was not a wise move against the league's top shot blocker.
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