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When one partner doesn't 'get it' and there's a such a chasm... things have a tendancy to fall apart. Especially if one person still sees that aspect of a relationship important. Marriage counselling... further conversation? Sure... if both parties are open. Otherwise? That's why people cheat and find their own solutions.... The 'vows' go right out the door... right? How else can one view it? If half the partnership no longer understands the importance of the sexual side of a marriage-aren't they already breaking those vows? ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Interesting questions for our Hump Day my friend, you know they owe us as much as we owe them. I feel that communication is the key to any relationship in getting what you need and desire. Not saying this always happens, but if your not honest with one another neither one is going to be very happy just saying.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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I've gone through it; in my case I was the one who was losing interest. Busy life, stressful job, & probably underlying issues in the relationship too. We would have these fights about sex which always boiled down to this circular argument: Me: Maybe I'd be more interested if it lasted longer. As it is, just as I start to get interested and aroused, you come. Him: Well, if we were having sex more often, I wouldn't come so fast! Le sigh. I'd like to think if I were in a relationship again, I'd handle it better. I have a better sense now of the importance of sex to a relationship and am more educated about options like giving him a blowjob or just holding and cuddling while he takes care of himself.   
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There are 2 other things that I didn't mention. He's lost total interest in you specially and is now just coping. That's sad... but might be true. So... what do you do? Or.... Anger... He's really angry at himself and can't cope because he knows he can't deliver. He takes his anger (of and about himself), out on you.He's really angry with his own physical limitations.... He's helpless to try and be the man he once was.... so anger and withdrawal is his only solution. That's all I have... 😶 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I watched him fail for over a year. No sex for about 2 yrs. I never thought once about going elsewhere. It would have broken his heart and I could never do that. Plus, there was no man anywhere that I would even want to do that with. My love and respect for him far outweighed my needs. I am so glad I never went there. But, he was terminal. If a man is not sick and cannot work with me, then I would leave instead of cheating.
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1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I'm not really a bible follower, but to paraphrase: if you don't satisfy your parnters sexual needs they will probably get it elsewhere. If the guys who wrote the book on prudery think temptation is too hard to resist if you aren't getting any, I reckon they're probably right. Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers
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I didn't marry a stupid woman. She surely knows I'm out "cheating" on her. But she is older than me and distinctly non-sexual. I've often thought of asking for an open marriage, but it seems rubbing her face in the situation would provide no huge benefit either of us. Hats, on HNW Just a Quickie Please He and She Volume 17 He and She and Him [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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It seems a lot of people never married with the intention to grow old together. There comes that time when sex slowly drops off and if we wait to long without any discussion or just random excuses.It's hard to break out of.Anniversaries are the best time to talk about another year to come and what they can do spice things up. Using more than all the road!
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"to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do we part." Romantic Nonsense, really. And I can prove vows are romantic nonsense with no actual ties to reality, because if anyone has had a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even just friends, they'd know relationships mostly don't last forever [to natural death of either person]. "Vows" are for "Public show". Entertainment. Two people making their merger LEGAL in the eyes of the Government, allowing them the few legal benefits that come with it. Once there was a time that these vows were rarely questioned. ..... Sure, and once there was a time when there were only 13 colonies and only 2 million people and for most people average life expectancy was around 40 to 50.. ....also no Internet. But in 1775 Ben Franklin was the first Post Master General. He knew where the naughty women lived, whether they were married or not. Not to say all was rosy and people upheld them to the letter. ... Of course they didn't. They're human beings. The more optimistic reason was there was love through thick and thin. .... In written and recited words created by a playwright, to be sure. "Through thick and thin" [and really the rest of vows] is not based in reality. what do we owe our partners? .... Find out in divorce court. What responsibilities do we assume? ..... What responsibility do you want to assume, I mean within realistic reason? Before you married him, you had a boyfriend, or two, did you assume any responsibility to him? ...At first you probably did, but then you, or he, found someone better. Of course we should be honest.... Within reason. Not a good idea to always be honest. What happens when one can no longer have sex? ....They find someone else, if they are able to attract anyone else. Especially if one or both are still have a sexual appetite. ... The one with the sexual appetite finds someone else. If both have a a sexual appetite, but not for each other, then why stay married? You're both going to seek sex else-where anyway. Is that a deal breaker in itself? .... Can be very much a deal breaker. I don't think so, there are probably ways to overcome that hurdle, ..... Not really. Staying married and going out to get some sex from another person, with your spouse knowing full well what you're doing ... can only preserve matrimonial harmony for so long for most people, then it snaps. But I suppose some could make this work. Sorta depends on how mature they are about sex. yet what if the suggestion is never made? ...What "Suggestion"? For clarity purposes here. "well if the tables were turned, would you [throw?] me to the curb?" His answer was, "no, but you'd jack me off." ..... Jacking him off regularly will only last so long. Eventually , if he can still get an erection, he'll get laid by another woman [if he can attract one]. Yet, alone is just how I felt at that moment. .... Sure, but you have to notice you only have a "Legal boyfriend". What do you really expect him to do? Stay and have no sex? Or stay, AND go find another woman for the sex? Or end the contract between you? I know couples deal with this, although I'm curious as to how. .... They live in misery with each other, eventually hating each other, possibly murdering one of them or homicide-suicide. Or they get a divorce, or they /one of them finds sex outside of their contract. Is there some underlying responsibility to make sure someone's sexual desires are sated in some way? ... I would hope so, in a civilized world, between rational persons. Look at it this way; If one of you became crippled, to the point they needed daily care.... you'd do it, or you'd find outside help, or you'd divorce them [cold, but probably happens], or you'd murder them [cold , but also I'm sure that happens]. ...... So back to the ever-so lighter topic of "Just sex" being wanted..... I'd say your responsibility would be to allow them to find someone for sex, or help them find sex. .....If you can't do that...then get a divorce. Or is that part of your life supposed to come to a screeching halt? ... No. Realistically no healthy person would just stop having sex, and expect to remain in a happy marriage. I'm not sure this is something people readily discuss, .... You're right, most people [before getting married] probably don't discuss necessary provisions in case that happens. They're too doped up on being together. what bothers me more is my feelings don't ever seem to come into play or it's never mentioned...... What are your feeling on him going out for sex, when you can't provide sex , or won't provide sex? Maybe , rejected? Discarded? Unloved? If that is how you feel, why would you feel that way? Worse case scenario.. .he becomes infatuated with another woman because he is experiencing euphoria with her..... okay so what? Isn't your marriage based on more than just sex? He can still be intimately loyal to you and be infatuated with another woman. Can't he? If reversed, couldn't you be intimately loyal to your husband , and be infatuated with the another man due to the sexual feelings you have with him? Yes, marriage is based on more than sex, but that doesn't mean if sex is gone , the marriage still works when there is at least one sexually active spouse. Monogamy is a forced lifestyle. It takes work. Remove one , or some of the benefits of that monogamous deal, the desire to force monogamy gets weak.
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One well-known case that springs to mind is that of Stephen Hawking. Not only did his wife have to watch him gradually lose his ability to look after himself, she lost the intimacy a typical couple would enjoy in their earlier years together. As his diagnosis continued, more care was needed which became intrusive into their personal lives. I think she also became attracted to someone in the local choir. So there's probably a number of factors that resulted in them separating. But each couple is different - some may be able to talk things through to a resolution, others might just cut their losses and separate as soon as possible.
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I think we owe it to our partners to HAVE a discussion when our sexual appetites vary from the others
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