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The Giver
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The Giver In the midst of great emotional turmoil, do you retreat into yourself or do you reach out for help? It has occurred to me that the givers of this world, the ones that are always there for other people, the ones that show up with food, that listen, that take the kids at the drop of a hat, never ask for anything, tend to keep it all locked inside. They are simply there making everyone else’s life easier, rounding off the sharp corners of others’ grief and generally being helpful in ways that are unobtrusive. We all know people like this. Someday, one day, they will need something too. and generally when that day comes, if they are so deeply in need that they reach out, they often find that the very people that counted on them…well, they’re too busy, too distracted, not listening, not hearing, not there. Givers give but they rarely get. Why is it that the squeaky wheel ALWAYS gets the oil? Why is it that the person who selflessly took care of YOU during YOUR crisis doesn’t merit your attention now that she’s in need? ….because she’s FINE, really, she’s fine. She’s always fine, right? Except this time, she isn’t. So pay attention. If you aren’t willing to pay attention, then you are not a good friend. You have not seen that person at all. You have not taken note of the sacrifices made on your behalf. Didn’t notice her heart being broken by loss and tragedy? Just expected her to keep giving? That’s just her being her. No big thing, she’s just like that, right? Well yeah, she is. But maybe, when that friend is in need instead of finding it annoying or something you’d really rather not deal with right now, you could stop yourself for a minute. Just a minute. Not to tally up the number of times she helped you out to see if you owe her because that’s not what this is about. But to consider the humanity of it all. What does it cost you to listen, eh? What does it cost you to be kind, to stop the hustle for a few hours, to be a friend to a friend? Today, Wantingsexymind2 wrote about finding herself alone in just such a moment and bloggers held her like her friends should have held her. I wish we’d all lived next door….it would’ve been a good thing. These are tough times. We can all use a little help from our friends.  You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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we all have times when we need to be held. I hope you all have friends to hold you tightly. WE You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Very nice words McWickster! I was that person, still am, but perhaps I've lowered my own expectations. McMind is a lovely lass, what a horrible thing for her to have to go through.......
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There have been times I've been close to asking for help... then the voice in my head says "a problem shared is a problem doubled." So i don't. It's a true friend who can see that need past that. You're a kind person WE, I doubt you'd ever turn away from a friend in need.
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The worlds full of all kinds of people and fortunately there are lots of differences between us or it would get to be a boring place. People certainly need to be appreciative of those that give and don't ever or rarely ever ask for anything and pay attention when they are in need. It might be interesting to take a look at the people givers tend to befriend... are they usually the kind of people that are good about taking but not so good about giving? Sometimes people need to be more selective in their friends or at least careful about not getting all their time swallowed up by all the needy and missing the relationships with the people that will be there when needed. Vive La Difference
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I've not read that post, wicked. I haven't been reading any posts for about a week. Thanks for the heads up. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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There are many of us who have reached out to her. I even went hunting on her older blogs to see if there was anyone who lived near her who might go and visit. She really needs us and I hope she stays connected. (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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I have reached out to her and haven't heard back yet. I hope she's ok. I know what she's going through. I've always been the first one to reach out to others when they are in need for ANYTHING, and when I needed that shoulder to cry on or friends to support me through my divorce or whatever, not one of them was around for me.. It does hurt and suck. Thank goodness for all of you here on the blogs... It made a world of difference to me!   Rachel Mae
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I tend to keep my real personal problems to myself. . Too often I find that people are just not interested in anyone else's problems. Friends need to be there for each other. . That's so much more important that having fun together.
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Online can be frustrating sometimes as you can't give real hugs to friends in need.  
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That is what blogland is all about Wicked friendship and looking out for others.. You are good friend no matter how many miles you are away from her. We are close to each other but a ferry ride away over 2 hours and traveling by car to where she is which could be another few hours. . I don't make it to the main land very much. I usually travel by plane to the interior of BC to visit my Dad. Very unlikely we will ever meet but who knows. We can always send hugssssssssssssssssssssss.. You can never have enough of them. hugssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I usually tend to my own dramas by myself. And love to help people out when I can. It is a bad combo when a giver get's together with yet another taker! Eventually, the giver temporarily loses faith in human kind, promises to never ever help anyone again, and of course they forget all about that when the next person is in need, and give again! Hence they are called givers! And the other lot, the takers.
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Quoting you, wicked: "I had a dream about you the other night. you were walking alongside this stream and there were deep blue flowers on deep green moss. You were wearing an old felt hat. You sat down on a rock and you took off your shoes and put your feet into the water. you finally turned and said, hey wicked. it was a good dream kzoo. you are getting to a place of letting go." You're having visions, wicked. I did just that, years ago, in Marquette, Michigan, right down to the hat. I sat down and put my feet in the creek and as I sat there relaxing, a fox crossed the creek not fifteen feet downstream from me. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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It's part of the reason I stick around here...sometimes I feel like I get more support here than from my "real life" friends. Which is not to diss the real life friends...if I asked for support I think I would get it, but they all have busy lives so our get togethers are not as often as I'd like.  
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