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Part 2 My So-Called Exciting Life!
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Part 2 My So-Called Exciting Life!  Part 2 Seriously, my life as a Sitcom! It took us almost 12 hours to get to Reno. We had to stop outside a Taco Time to talk through some stuff for a couple of hours before we went through with it. We rolled into Reno at 11:45 pm after our âÂÂbachelor/bachelorette partyâ at a hole in the wall diner, and eight bottles of champagne. We found The Little Chapel of Neon Hearts and went in. My bestie was our witness and Best man/Maid of Honor. My bouquet was some dusty faded hard plastic flowers. The officiant looked like Mama Cass with a lilting sing-song-y voice as she read the vows. She sounded like a short order cook when we got to the part about the rings. We whispered to her: âÂÂWe donâÂÂt have any ringsâÂÂ. She broke from her Snow White lilt and yelled, âÂÂTHEY DONâÂÂT GOT NO RINGS!!â She re-composed herself and got back to the vows: âÂÂâ¦to love honor and obey till death do you part?â I saw the color start to drain from my hubsâ face. When it was over we got a cassette recording of our vows that we still have to this day, somewhere. I went out with my friend to look around for a motel. My hubs was somewhere between two cars throwing up. He told me later, it was because all the countless thousands [of women] that he would now never meet, flashed before his eyes. We found a Motel 6 to stay at. He wanted us all in the same room [âÂÂTo save â he said] We protested with the bestie saying âÂÂNo fucking way! IâÂÂll sleep in the car! â She got her own room. I proceeded to take the longest shower on record. 2.5 hours. I was kinds hoping heâÂÂd pass out on the bed. It didnâÂÂt happen. Sex for that night was the dead fish kind. Truthfully, I think I was in shock. Early the next morning, I had to go to a phone booth [remember them?] and in for a substitute for my classes. I had to called my co-teacher too. It was the end of the third quarter grading period, so I had to read off my portion of the grades to her so we could get them in on time. When I told her where I was and what I had done, she didnâÂÂt believe me. âÂÂCâÂÂmon, you are in Gresham, donâÂÂt lie to me!â âÂÂNo, truly, I am standing outside a Motel 6 in Reno freezing my ass off in a phone booth!â I read her my grades for each class while she laughed. I found out later from some of the kids that she actually fell out of her chair laughing when she told the students where I was. The drive home was quiet. Except in the mountains where we got pelted with raindrops so fat they almost flooded the inside of the car. We had to stop to put the sunroof back on. Then almost slid off the road in the downpour. The next day after I went to school and everyone found out about my escapade, reality really started to set in and I got scared. I remember coming home to my sisterâÂÂs house, being curled up in the fetal position on the granite countertop with my friend feeding me shots of Wild Turkey, while I rocked back and forth mumbling, âÂÂWhat have I done? What have I done?!!!â WeâÂÂve lasted thoâÂÂ. Through thick and thin, hard times and fun times, we've managed to stay intact. The second most terrifying thing IâÂÂve done is being a Mom. Now, I know those are not âÂÂexciting and/or action packedâ experiences; I mean, not like waterskiing nude, or participating in a kink convention or being on Hugh HefnerâÂÂs yacht. But they are fucking life changing! TheyâÂÂve shaped who I am and what I do today. And this, the Second Act, promises to bring more adventures and stories to tell! Stay Tuned!!   ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~ |
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Part 2 Seriously, my life as a Sitcom! It took us almost 12 hours to get to Reno. We had to stop outside a Taco Time to talk through some stuff for a couple of hours before we went through with it. We rolled into Reno at 11:45 pm after our “bachelor/bachelorette party” at a hole in the wall diner, and eight bottles of champagne. We found The Little Chapel of Neon Hearts and went in. My bestie was our witness and Best man/Maid of Honor. My bouquet was some dusty faded hard plastic flowers. The officiant looked like Mama Cass with a lilting sing-song-y voice as she read the vows. She sounded like a short order cook when we got to the part about the rings. We whispered to her: “We don’t have any rings”. She broke from her Snow White lilt and yelled, “THEY DON’T GOT NO RINGS!!” She re-composed herself and got back to the vows: ”…to love honor and obey till death do you part?” I saw the color start to drain from my hubs’ face. When it was over we got a cassette recording of our vows that we still have to this day, somewhere. I went out with my friend to look around for a motel. My hubs was somewhere between two cars throwing up. He told me later, it was because all the countless thousands [of women] that he would now never meet, flashed before his eyes. We found a Motel 6 to stay at. He wanted us all in the same room [“To save money” he said] We protested with the bestie saying “no fucking way! I’ll sleep in the car! “ She got her own room. I proceeded to take the longest shower on record. 2.5 hours. I was kinds hoping he’d pass out on the bed. It didn’t happen. Sex for me that night was the dead fish kind. truthfully, I think I was in shock. Early the next morning, I had to go to a phone booth [remember them?] and call in for a substitute for my classes. I had to called my co-teacher too. It was the end of the third quarter grading period, so I had to read off my portion of the grades to her so we could get them in on time. When I told her where I was and what I had done, she didn’t believe me. “C’mon, you are in Gresham, don’t lie to me!” “No, truly, I am standing outside a Motel 6 in Reno freezing my ass off in a phone booth!” I read her my grades for each class while she laughed. I found out later from some of the kids that she actually fell out of her chair laughing when she told the students where I was. The drive home was quiet. Except in the mountains where we got pelted with raindrops so fat they almost flooded the inside of the car. We had to stop to put the sunroof back on. Then almost slid off the road in the downpour. The next day after I went to school and everyone found out about my escapade, reality really started to set in and I got scared. I remember coming home to my sister’s house, being curled up in the fetal position on the granite countertop with my friend feeding me shots of Wild Turkey, while I rocked back and forth mumbling, “What have I done? What have I done?!!!” We’ve lasted tho’. Through thick and thin, hard times and fun times, we've managed to stay intact. The second most terrifying thing I’ve done is being a Mom. Now, I know those are not “exciting and/or action packed” experiences; I mean, not like waterskiing nude, or participating in a kink convention or being on Hugh Hefner’s yacht. But they are fucking life changing! They’ve shaped who I am and what I do today. And this, the Second Act, promises to bring more adventures and stories to tell! Stay tuned!! ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Well, I'd say it's pretty exiting so far
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Signs the marriage will not be conventional: 1 - The groom throwing up at the thought of all the women he will never get to sample. 2 - Your wedding night is at a Motel 6. 3 - Being curled up in the fetal position mumbling, “What have I done? What have I done?!!!” But YES, you endured and survived, and no have HELL OF FUN stories to tell. Festive Green Wrappings, on HNW Learning Greek This Might Have Been the Height of Stupidity [post 3312759] My Private Post - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets – Anything you write here is just between us
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Enjoyed the read 
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Thanks for the good read. I look forward to the third act.
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Merry Christmas and a Happy, Hopefully New Year!
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Holy cow!! This is like reading Hunter S. Thompson. I shocked and impressed! Have a great day! 💋 Staci
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And they say weddings days are to be the most w day of your life like buying a boat and selling it. I'm sure your fun to be with in and out of bed xoxoxoxoxo
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