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Too funny NOT to borrow
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Too funny NOT to borrow The most venomous snake in the world NAME: Expectieria Trouserius (trouser snake) LOCATION: throughout the world DESCRIPTION: one-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (there are types that come with extra layers of skin). varying from pink to black. fang-less with a highly venomous spit. )spit can reach distances of up to 2-3 feet) *size varies from 3 to over 14 inches, depending on it's mood and subspecies. SYMPTOMS: this snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. the attack is not usually fatal. beware: it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen! HABITAT: usually found in bedroom, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. ANTIDOTE: various types of vaccine available for women. however, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measure will ensure complete recovery. there is no known antidote for men. WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TOURNIQUET: do not apply a tourniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. CUTTING THE WOUND: this would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow. SUCKING THE WOUND: this method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM 1. place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. 2. grip firmly and move the hand in and upwards and downwards motion. 3. this will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. 4. the time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. 5. once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes. CONCLUSION: this snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet. Editor's notes: Upon investigating this not so elusive specimen on the web, I have discovered the following: - The younger ones are hunted and widely popular among mostly cougars. - They seem to thrive in a dark, moist environment, the more moist, the better. - They are of the "burrowing" family, meaning they seek deep refuge regardless the climate - Their venom can be 98% neutralized by covering its head with a medical grade rubberized hood. - As they get older, they become less aggressive also loosing their venom's potency and tend to be found in a more relaxed state than excited one. This condition however can be enhanced medically but effected specimens can remain in an aggravated state for up to four hours. Synner Credits: thank you SapphireLil . WARNING: I am always void where prohibited by law. Theme song: Nina Simone - Sinnerman |
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