Quick Instant messaging trouble question
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Publié :24/8/2018 18h00
Dernière mise à jour :26/8/2018 15h11 7021 vues
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I have an notification saying that I received an Instant message but when I click on it I've got no message. Is this a glitch or did I really get a message? Tell me if you've had a similar problem.
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Virgin Sex Expert: Lesson 1.3 The key to the lost art of fingering
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Publié :20/8/2018 4h17
Dernière mise à jour :8/4/2019 22h11 6752 vues
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Fingering, The forgotten sex act. For most people fingering conjures up memories of awkward hormone fueled nights. You look back on it fondly but you're an adult know and you won't accept such an juvenile act as apart of your sexual menu today. But I'm here to say that whether you're a giver or receiver fingering can be a fun and satisfying addition to your sexy time if you know what to do.
I know what most people are going to think. Fingering? Come on, once you get over the excitement of "Whoa, somethings in me!" Or "My fingers are inside someone. THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" Fingering is not that interesting or pleasurable. If you think that then you moved on to sex without learning the key to fingering. Which is simple yet profound. It's a internal massage not a penis substitute.
Think of fingering as an internal massage rather than a penis substitute changes everything. It is no longer a juvenile act. It's a mature why to give your partner pleasure. Looking at fingering as an internal massage also exposes what is missing from most people's fingering sessions. Pressure and pace. Just imagine a massage that is just rubbing someone's skin quickly. It seems annoying right. Now imagine a massage with great pressure and pace. I bet you imagined a satisfying experience.
Now that we've established what is missing from most people's fingering sessions let get into a couple of basic techniques to get you started.
The Jack Lordes Stretch:
This is a good why to measure the right amount pressure for you or your partner. It's really simple. Slide your fingers about a inch or two inside of vagina and and press downward. If you're a woman going solo press upward because downward is much tougher but for the best results it should be done with a partner. There should be a weighty, stretching feeling. If it's too much lessen the pressure.
Rock and Roll
Another simple beginner technique. Slide two fingers inside about 2 to 3 inches. Apply pressure. Now at a pace about 2 seconds or move you're fingers to left then the right of the vaginal wall while maintaining pressure.
Old faithful
Turn your palm so it's facing the sky. Slide two fingers inside about two inches. Apply pressure. Now at a pace that's comfortable use a "come hither" motion.
Armed with this information go and experiment just remember that unlike with massage don't try to get rid of tension by working through it. If your partner tenses up back off or stop. And don't forget to have fun you crazy kids.
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Throwing away a unopened box of condoms again
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Publié :26/7/2018 4h19
Dernière mise à jour :20/8/2018 19h57 6663 vues
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I know I've written about throwing away a unopened box of condoms before but it's about to happen for the third time but before I give the details let's answer some questions you probably have.
Yes, condoms have a long self life. Around 6-10 years depending on when you buy.
No, I am not going to make weird balloon animals with them after they expire.
Of course I planned on using them when I first bought them.
No, I don't enjoy wasting money.
I don't know why I can't get laid.
Yes, I thought about getting a prostitute but I always get a surge of self respect and think I'm attractive and charming enough to get a women in bed without paying for it and yes I'm always wrong.
Okay, story time. Our tale begins days after I threw away my last unopened box of condoms. Seeing those little buggers in my trash motivated me to finally get the job done. So I doubled my efforts on this site, rejoined the hell on earth that is the online dating world and started going to places with lots of women like yoga studios, craft stores and I thought about going to dance classes but felt like a weirdo going by myself. I thought I was going to find at least woman who would find me charming or one who was just horny. I was 100% sure I would find at least one. It was just a matter of time. I had to be responsible so I bought a new box of condoms. Not just any condoms I bought the Rolls Royce of condoms. A brand called Okamoto crown. These things are have been ranked as the best latex condoms for nearly two decades. They're thin yet strong and anyone who has tried them swears by them. Yeah, that's how confident I was.
I tried. I really did. But after a couple of months I knew that it was going to happen it was going to take longer than I thought. So I put the box away. Years go by and I realized that it's just not going to happen for me and I move on to just trying to get a prostitute but I keep chickening out or convincing myself that I can get someone to have sex with me for free and I forget about Okamoto crowns. Until last night. I'm looks everywhere for my old laptop and I find this bag and there they are. I look at the expiration date and they expire December of this year. I actually might be able to use one or two but the majority of these every amazing condoms are going to end up in the bin. Oh well.
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Write my new Profile for me.
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Publié :21/7/2018 1h24
Dernière mise à jour :24/7/2018 12h12 6088 vues
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Not to brag but I get about 5 or six hits on my profile a month but I've only received around 10 messages. Minus the messages from gay guys hoping I'll switch teams and the ones from groups hoping I'll join. In reality I've received about 4 messages from women. Now I've been on this site for years so that means my profile has a worst return on investment than blue eyeshadow. I grew up with all women so of your a guy and you don't get it exchange blue eyeshadow for season tickets to the Buffalo Bills.
That being said it's time for a rewrite but I don't know what else to try. I've gone honest and thoughtful. I've done the cocky bad boy thing ( I was trying something different don't judge me). I tried using my humor but I'm the only one who find me funny. I've tried mysterious. I've tried one sentence. I've tried leaving it blank except for the words ask me ( again stop with the judgement ). I tried so much I've come to the realization that I will never find a sexual partner on this site so I stopped trying. There in lies the problem. What do you write when you don't care? I'm sick of my current profile but I don't care enough to put in a effort to change it. That's were you guys come in. Comment anything below and I will put it on my new profile. Deal?
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Why I think guys message "Hey"
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Publié :18/7/2018 3h10
Dernière mise à jour :24/7/2018 12h11 6627 vues
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Online dating sites! Or as I like to call them the seventh circle of hell. Not this place...passion is only the 5 circle. They're a the main way that people meet nowadays. Or at least that's what I heard. I've never seen it. And it's also a great resource for busy single women to date a narcissist. But this story is about me. I've almost been signed up for every dating site there is. I drew the line at J DATE, East meets east and Farmers only for obvious reasons but any one that you can think of I've had a profile on. Tinder, Bumble, Zoosk, Plenty of fish, OK cupid, Match, Eharmoy, Black people Meet, Geek2Geek,Chemistry, Every Friend finder, Pure, Mingle and many more you never heard of like Rose brides. So I'm pretty much an expert. I know I'm not attractive enough for tinder or Bumble. Not successful enough for match or Eharmoy. I'm a conservative so black people meet is out of the question. My wheel house is in the Zoosk to plenty of fish range. I usually keep getting drawn to ok cupid because plenty of fish is the Kmart of dating sites. Caught in a time wrap and a bit depressing while Zoosk is Target. Great but a little to fancy for someone like me to be there. I'm at home at the Walmart of dating sites. At ok cupid you're going to see some shit that makes you loss faith in humanity but it's got everything you need.
That being said I have noticed that the main criticism of guys from women on dating sites is the uncreative messages of "Hey" or "What's up" followed closely by going from "Hey" to "How about you let me finger you" in 2.3 seconds. But we're not here to talk about fingering we're here to talk about hey. Now I'm a average guy who has average looks and average intelligence and I've sent hundreds of messages to women and I've sent one hey. I'm not proud of it but I felt the lure of the hey. If you think about it that's a good opener. It's subtle, a little mysterious and is a good set up to a compliment, joke or a playful jab. For example: Guy/ Hey, Girl/ Really, all I get is a hey, Guy/Don't blame me blame your parents, Girl/ What?, Guy/ They're the ones who made you so beautiful. How could you blame me for my mind going blank. You're lucky you got a hey. Boom, now you're in business.
Let's get real. There are only three reasons for a hey. One the guy is a dumb ass, uncreative or both. Two the guy is good looking an gets 10 messages a day and knows he doesn't have to put in much effort. Or third, what happened in my situation. Fatigue. I don't think women understand that if you're just a average guy trying to get a dating online can become a like trying to find a job by sending your resume to every company in your field that has an opending unprompted. A lot of rejection with no one responding to your efforts. It's a lot of work for no reward. Just think about it. How many times do you think you could read a profile and create an unique message based on what was written without getting anything in return accept wasted time? For me it was 73 times. In my cases it was a girl I knew wouldn't be into me but I had to try. She wore glasses, wore 40's sundresses and one of her pics was of her riding Falkor. That's the furry dragon from the never ending story. If you don't know what the never ending story is...How dare you. Go watch that movie right now. I am really attracted to offbeat women but I'm also a conservative which I stated earlier and offbeat women usually don't go for us. In fact she put in her profile no conservatives. But sometimes you just have to try.
So she got the hey.
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I'm back And think I've figured out women. (Hate comments are coming I know it)
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Publié :18/7/2018 1h03
Dernière mise à jour :24/7/2018 12h11 6470 vues
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Hey...What's going on..? I'm back kind of. I still won't be posting as much as I used to but I'm not going to cloister myself anymore. So...What did I miss? How did the blogger meet up go? I missed the chance to stand against a wall and have awkward conversation with passion bloggers because no one reads my blog so they aren't going to know who I am. I've been great. I got depressed, got fat. Stop being depressed, stayed fat. Got grey hair in my beard now. So I'm aging faster than I should...that's upsetting. Still got my V-card but now I got tits to play with because I'm fat. Going to take care of the virgin thing for sure this time no backing out because I get a sudden case of self respect. But first I got to get rid of this grotesque swinging gut because 4 tits are only hot in a threesome. That being said I return bearing gifts. I think I've finally figured out what women want when it comes to men. You can roast me over a open fire in the comments if I'm wrong but I think I'm on to something here.
It only took me 33 years of being completely confused about what women want but I think I've finally figured out what heterosexual women want in a partner. Are you ready? They want a man. Before you throw cabbages at me and curse me out like a sailor who just stubbed his toe while catching his best friend fucking his wife for telling you something you already know let me explain myself. They don't want just any men they want a man who is like a CEO of a fortune 500 company. A man who has a vision for the future and moves forward regardless of obstacles, challenges or setbacks if that makes sense. That I'm trying to say is they want someone who has a core code of conduct that helps elevate everyone around them and won't change it for anyone. Not even them.
This was a huge shock for me being that I heard all my life that women want a nice guy who treats them well. That was beaten into my head being that I'm a millennial and we're the first generation of men to be raised primarily by women. Although that isn't a lie it's not the whole truth. Women would rather be with a man who she respects than one who is nice. And you get a woman's respect by holding to your principles even when it means not being nice. Being a leader even if that means not treating her well at times. Because if I woman can make you deviate from your principles she's going to expose that chink in your armour until she finds the soft spot and if you can't protect yourself how can you protect her. That's when she starts to lose respect for you and when she loses respect that's when the claws come out and she's going to dig into the soft spot until you find the chink, address your shortcomings and put your armour back on this time stronger and better equipped so you never can be hurt like that again. Making you both better protected or until she strips the whole thing off of you and slices you to ribbons until she gets bored.
I think we forget that humanity evolved under duress because of our soft modern lives but we have these ancient systems wired into our DNA. Men evolved to handle threats by being strong mentally and physically to protect themselves and those that they care about while women evolved to weed out the weak to ensure the survival of themselves and those they care about. Men build society while women maintain it's stability. It's a beautiful collaboration if you think about it. Ok you can tell at me in the comments now.
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I met a woman from this site in real life and was disappointed
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Publié :17/7/2018 2h54
Dernière mise à jour :17/7/2018 23h39 4739 vues
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When I first joined this site I thought if I met a women I sent a message to it would be much more fun. There would be some hair pulling and ass slapping or at least some bodily fluids being exchanged but it was just strange but let me start from the beginning.
I have sent a message to a lot of women on this site but there are only a handful of them that I really held out hope of a response. One of which was a woman that was a single mother looking for some fun while her kids were at school. She was 5'2, only 2 years older than me, nice and thick and lived less than a mile away. It was the perfect setting up for a friends with benefits situation because She wasn't looking for a partner just stress relief and I work only nights that made me available while her kids where at school. So of course I jumped at the opportunity send her 3 messages. Not all at once, they were a weeks apart but I really wanted to get the job but I never received a response. Flash forward a couple of years. I've forgotten about her and I see this woman at the grocery store. And she looks familiar. I think nothing of it. A week later there she is again at the liquor store. Now I feel like I've seen her before and it's bothering me. So I make small talk with her to see if her voice jogges my memory. Nothing comes to mind until she walked away and I get a glimpse of her thong that peaks out from her jeans. It's the same pair from one of her pics. And it all comes flooding back. This is crazy. We've lived in the same area for years but we've never crossed paths and she's really hard to miss. I have see her at least once a week now. We exchanged pleasantries but no idea that I've messaged her. And I'm got going to bring it up. She has boyfriend now. And even though he's a thug that's too old to be a thug the position has been filled.
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My middle school legacy
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Publié :31/12/2017 16h45
Dernière mise à jour :31/12/2017 17h11 12215 vues
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I rode past one of my old middle schools and I witnessed something that made me smile. There were kids waiting for a bus at a gas station, a second stop and a church not to far away. This wasn't the case when I was a student there. When I went there everyone waited for the bus at the bus stop right in front of the school. Kids who took public transportation were given cool points compared to the kids getting picked up by their mom. So everyone wanted to be seen getting on the bus and those who didn't take the bus would hang out there to get some adjacent cool points and socialize.
I hated standing at that bus stop. I truly hated it. I hated the crowd of kids, I hated overhearing the middle school drama of who's going out with who, Who got fingered by who. The guys fighting. The girls tearing each other down socially. The cliques and the wannabe gangstas. I couldn't deal. This was my 20th middle school and I was over the chaos that these prepubescent idiots made. I just dealt with it for about a month until one day I just started walking away until I found a bus stop a few streets away. It was right in front of a small church which there are tons of in Detroit. For the first time in a long time I had some peace and quiet.
My peace only lasted for a couple of months because out of the blue one day while I was walking to my peaceful church bus stop. There was two other kids there. Then 10, then 30. My peace was gone. So I kept walking until I came across another bus stop. The same thing happened until I'm overrun again. But instead of me walking to find another bus stop something happened. The cool kids had the same idea and walked all the way to the first bus stop on the line which was not too far away in front of a gas station. The new way to get cool points was to skip last period go to the mall which was about a 20-30 minute walk from the school. Grab something at the food court come back to the gas station grab a snapple because it was the 90's and wait for the bus.
I never skipped last period but I did make it to the gas station and couple of times. Even though I didn't hang out with the cool kids crew they were cool to me. I guess I earned enough cool points being the first kid on the bus for months to get some respect. I had two good conversations with the best basketball player in school and hishot as balls girlfriend but the gas station was quickly overrun too. It wasn't my scene anyway.
My days as the first kid on the bus where over but that was never my goal. I just wanted some peace and quiet. Over the next couple of weeks a new hierarchy is born. The cool kids and kids who have earned their respect that want to be seen and someday will be the cool kids skip last period and are at the gas station. The next bus stop is overrun with the wannabe cool kids and kids who really want a good seat on the bus. And the general population and kids who like drama take the bus stop in front of the school but the bus stop in front of the church was deserted. It wasn't the cool place to be, it wasn't a place you could get a good seat because there was two other stops with 30 or more kids already there. There was no drama. It was back to being my peaceful place. For the rest of my time there. I had it all to myself for the most part. One or two kids would wait for the bus there but only for a day until they found out the gas station or other stops were livelier. And that's was great for me.
That brings me to 2017. 20 years have passed and I'm riding down the same street. That my old middle school is located. I roll past gas station. It still has kids eating mall food court food and drinking gas station drinks. I roll past the the next stop and there's a crowd of kids talking and waiting for the bus. I roll pass my quiet church and there's two kids standing out in front and I can't stop the smile. Something that I helped to create has been passed down for 20 years and my quiet place is a quiet place for some other kid.
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I keep forgetting that I'm multi orgasmic
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Publié :22/12/2017 21h43
Dernière mise à jour :22/12/2017 21h52 12568 vues
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My boss is a huge flirt. Ever lady that walks near him is going to gets hit on. It usually gets a smile or a whatever response but ever so often he runs into another huge flirt and they have a flirting contest to see who backs down first. Well today there was a flirting contest buy no wanted to back down so it turned from flirtatious to explicit. He was saying I'm going to fuck you all night if you keep talking like this and she responded with A lot of guys say they can fuck all night but I'll test your stamina. It finally ended in a draw. Of course after something unexpected happens every wanted to diuss what just happened and how crazy it was. Every except for me that is. As a virgin I don't have anything to contribute to sex talk and as a human being I don't give a fuck about diussing something that I just witnessed. Acknowledge and move on. Why the by ? Those may be connected but my boss noticed that I was just going about my business and not joining the group so he decided to include me. Asking, how many times would I cum on her if she asked me to fuck her all night? I answered absentmindedly, 12 times. He freaked. 12! That's crazy! You should Genesis book of world records! They took it as a joke of course but I was actually being hst and conservative.
I mentid that I'm multi orgasmic many times on this blog. Actually too many times. It's almost become a humble brag until you realize that I'm still a virgin and then it becomes really sad picturing a a guy cumming multiple times all over his thighs his entire life but I forget that this isn't a normal skill to possess. Of course 12 times doesn't seem crazy to me when I have hours to work with when cumming times in 20 minutes is my standard masturbation session. My record is 7 times in 1 hour 20 and I stopped because of mental fatigue not physical. I still had a brs when I stopped but there's only so much a man can take before he shame overtakes the pleasure. Then your just sitting there in your own filth thinking to yourself. Really dude? Why are you doing this. Look at yourself. People fought for your freedom and this is what you're doing with your life. Really dude?REALLY?
Sorry about that. Got off track...So...moral of the story...? Don't tell people you can cum and keep a br? I guess?
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My procrastination cost me thousands of dollars
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Publié :13/12/2017 2h10
Dernière mise à jour :17/7/2018 23h30 12044 vues
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For years now I have been meaning to buy bitcoin. Back when it was worthless I heard about it and thought crypto currency was the future after I began studying economics and realized that the boom and bust cycles of the US economy was because of the federal reserve mucking with the interest rates and bitcoin seemed like a way to have a stable from of money when all the debt this country has needs to be paid. Although back then getting a bitcoin wallet was an ordeal not like today when it literally takes two minutes. So I pushed it off. Later bitcoin started to get some traction. The vaule was about 200 dollars each and bitcoin and a bitcoin ATM was put in just down the street from my work. I just thought bitcoin is volatile I'll wait until it goes down because 200 is a little pricey. Well that 200 dollar investment could be worth 65 thousand dollars right now. And I missed my shot because everyone is trying to catch this wave and get rich quick. Story of my life.
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A sexual assault helped me gain insight on female sexuality
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Publié :6/12/2017 3h58
Dernière mise à jour :17/7/2018 2h55 12041 vues
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This is not a joke or clickbait. I really gained some insight and understanding into the female experience from watching a porn gone wrong. Let me explain I am a subscriber of a young woman on Pornhub who makes homemade porn and this young woman was fliming a one night stand with a guy. Which she does a lot. It did not go well. Halfway through this guy gets super aggressive. Then violent. He starts hitting and choking her. And not love taps legit smacks and violent chokes.He hits her so hard she drops the camera and you can hear her saying things like please stop and you're hurting me but he tells her to shut the fuck up and keeps going. At this point this is no longer porn, this is evidence in a sexual assault. It passed me off and made me sick but there was nothing I could do. So I just reported it to pornhub and logged out to collect myself.
Like how could someone do that to another human being? How could someone think that this is okay? But the strange thing was this was posted by her on her pornhub channel. It only had a description saying daddy got aggressive and there was nothing I could do but do what he says. I'm paraphrasing but the tone was flirtatious. Which really got me to realise something that is so obvious that I totally miss it. Men are bigger and stronger than women.
It seems like a no duh thing but I never thought about the implications of that in the sexual arena. Shit could go sideways at any moment and there's nothing you can do about it. As a guy I never view sex as a possible violation or the end of my life. It never occurred to me that every sexual experience is a risk for women. I guess I was a slave to my own perspective. I'm not a total idiot I knew it intellectually but never really got it until now. For me the idea of sex isn't potentially dangerous it's a enjoyable experience with no reason to be cautious other than for contracting an STI or pregnancy which is easily prevented so it's full speed ahead.
There is another element of female sexuality that this made me realize. Women like walking the razors edge sexually. This woman took it to the extreme. Putting herself in harm's way hundreds of times with hundreds of guys before this with no incidents but she was clearly addicted to the rush of no knowing if things were going to go off the rails and pushing her limits but I can't tell you how many women want to lose control sexually. Walking the razors edge of trust and chaos. They don't want to fall off the edge but want to find out how close they can get. No woman I know wants a sexual experience that doesn't have take element of danger. It's a huge part of the experience. Or I could be off again.
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Pour créer un lien vers ce blog (CeriosEros), utilisez [blog CeriosEros] dans vos messages.
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