Did you know ...
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Publié :28/1/2013 22h13
Dernière mise à jour :27/4/2024 23h47 7836 vues
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Oh so very true ... I mean after all, why waste time?
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Public Service Annoucement (#73)
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Publié :25/1/2013 15h30
Dernière mise à jour :25/1/2013 15h36 7522 vues
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At the end of the day we are all really just another day older,
if you are not another day wiser ... that's your own damn fault.
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Too funny NOT to borrow
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Publié :25/1/2013 14h03
Dernière mise à jour :29/1/2013 3h22 7928 vues
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The most venomous snake in the world
NAME: Expectieria Trouserius (trouser snake)
LOCATION: throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: one-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (there are types that come with extra layers of skin). varying from pink to black. fang-less with a highly venomous spit. )spit can reach distances of up to 2-3 feet)
*size varies from 3 to over 14 inches, depending on it's mood and subspecies.
SYMPTOMS: this snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. the attack is not usually fatal.
beware: it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
HABITAT: usually found in bedroom, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: various types of vaccine available for women. however, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measure will ensure complete recovery. there is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED
TOURNIQUET: do not apply a tourniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: this would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: this method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.
SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM
1. place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. grip firmly and move the hand in and upwards and downwards motion.
3. this will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting.
4. the time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.
CONCLUSION: this snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
Editor's notes:
Upon investigating this not so elusive specimen on the web, I have discovered the following:
- The younger ones are hunted and widely popular among mostly cougars.
- They seem to thrive in a dark, moist environment, the more moist, the better.
- They are of the "burrowing" family, meaning they seek deep refuge regardless the climate
- Their venom can be 98% neutralized by covering its head with a medical grade rubberized hood.
- As they get older, they become less aggressive also loosing their venom's potency and tend to be found in a more relaxed state than excited one. This condition however can be enhanced medically but effected specimens can remain in an aggravated state for up to four hours.
Synner
Credits: thank you SapphireLil
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seriously ...
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Publié :24/1/2013 2h38
Dernière mise à jour :27/4/2024 23h47 7355 vues
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always engage the filter before completing a though.
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I know right?
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Publié :23/1/2013 23h42
Dernière mise à jour :27/4/2024 23h47 7464 vues
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It sure has been a while since I have posted anything and I have no excuse .. Oh wait .. yes I do - the end of the world according to the Mayans ... the Zombie Apocalypse ... the busy holidays ... the changing of the year, or, I could go with my stand by .. "lazy".
I hope you all survived the holiday season with few emotional scars and this new year offers you a wealth of opportunities.
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Things You Wouldn't Know (part I)
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Publié :24/11/2012 5h29
Dernière mise à jour :24/1/2013 2h39 9299 vues
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Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Tube All Of Life's Mysteries Are On TV
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
You can always find a chain saw whenever you're likely to need one.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.
Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
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Things You Wouldn't Know (part II)
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Publié :24/11/2012 5h27
Dernière mise à jour :24/11/2012 5h34 9206 vues
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Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Tube All Of Life's Mysteries Are On TV
People of TV never finish their drinks.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
The chief of police is always black.
When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
All single women have a cat.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"
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Things You Wouldn't Know (part III)
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Publié :24/11/2012 5h25
Dernière mise à jour :24/11/2012 5h38 9212 vues
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Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Tube All Of Life's Mysteries Are On TV
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of you sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
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You are in California when ...
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Publié :24/11/2012 5h22
Dernière mise à jour :27/4/2024 23h47 9226 vues
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You Know You're In California When...
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
You were born somewhere else.
You know how to eat an artichoke.
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
Your car has bulletproof windows.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
Your mouse has only one ball.
You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
Your family tree contains 'significant others'.
Your cat has it's own psychiatrist.
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
More than clothes come out of the closets.
When 'the Dead' are best live.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
When you can't schedule a meeting because you must 'do lunch'.
Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.
You consult your horoscope before planning your day.
A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.
When all highways into the state say: 'no fruits'.
All highways out of the state say: 'Go back'.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach
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