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Fresh from the Shower - part 1
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Publié :25/4/2019 22h53
Dernière mise à jour :26/4/2019 9h20 4383 vues
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She walked from the bathroom and stood in front of the television, still dripping wet from the shower. It made no difference to her that the playoffs were on. She handed me the bottle of an avocado and cucumber scented body soufflé – a thick lotion I always ordered for myself, but since trying it, she pretty much claimed it as her own. She walked toward me and I stood up.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“, nothing is wrong. I just don’t want you dripping all over the sofa”, I replied.
She looked me with a twinkle in her eye and responded, “You’ve never had a problem with me dripping all over the place before”, she said.
I bit my tongue. She was right. I knew it…and so did she. But this was a little different.
She placed her delicate hands on my shoulders and pushed me backwards step, , . Feeling the couch behind me, I sat down. She smiled. Lifting her dark mahogany leg. I kissed her knee. She placed her foot ever so gently on my quickly hardening dick. She laughed.
“You are so easy”, she said. “It sure doesn’t take much to get you hard.”
In my mind, my thoughts were, "It doesn't take much for YOU, to get me hard," but I kept silent. There was really nothing to say, so I didn’t say anything. After all she was right again. Her breasts did not feel as hard or full as I imagined they did in her 20s or 30s, althought it didn't matter to me. The laugh lines around her eyes are beautiful and arousing. There is just a touch of gray in the hair between her thighs, which made her glistening juices all the more apparent.
She moved her foot from my dick to my shoulders and her pouting lower lips with their full bush were almost on my own. I could smell her scent beginning to fill the air. It was heady and intoxicating. I looked up at her, a smile began forming as she strained to reach my lips, my tongue.
“Damn you” she said.
I laughed. Droplets of her juice were already gathering on the hairs of her gaping pussy lips. I slid my tongue out and moved my face closer to her. I licked my own lips, then sat back. She reached for my head trying to grab a head full of hair. As she reached for me, I brought the bottle of lotion up, blocking her. I laughed again as I listened to her muttering under her breath.
Placing lotion in the palm of my hand, I blew across it, warming it. Rubbing my hands together I reached for the crevice between her right thigh, allowing my knuckles to graze the droplets emanating from her. When the back of my hand touched her there, it was like grasping a wet sponge. She began dripping. My dick was throbbing. My desire for her was as apparent - she held the upper hand - and she knew it, again!.
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Well, There is that
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Publié :16/4/2019 21h11
Dernière mise à jour :28/7/2021 15h09 4568 vues
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Why did I get divorced? He was asked....
Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office,
my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
My wife stomped over to me and proceeded to stomp me. When I regained consciousness, the divorce papers were laying on my chest.
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She's Got Jokes - But They Are Not Funny
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Publié :16/4/2019 21h01
Dernière mise à jour :17/4/2019 11h48 4568 vues
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father,
“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the son asks.
“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks,
“Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”, the mom replied.
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She's Got Jokes - but what do you think?
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Publié :16/4/2019 20h56
Dernière mise à jour :29/1/2020 12h49 4466 vues
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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says,
“Well dear, Mommy and fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues,
“ means the puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. ’s how you get a baby, honey.”
The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had ’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do ?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.” the mother said 
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