Your opinion about meeting on this site
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Publié :5/1/2019 15h17
Dernière mise à jour :5/10/2020 13h30 825 vues
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I've been on this site on and off checking it out. I have seen some members who are the same, on and off but there are some who stuck around and been active for quite a while.
I'd love to hear what you guys think, is this a place to actually meet others and have you successfully met? Did you stay close or was it a one time thing... Do people build relationships out of this site?
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Face pic on your profile or not?
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Publié :31/5/2010 18h35
Dernière mise à jour :5/10/2020 13h29 3783 vues
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I have recently signed up to gold membership because being a gold member you broaden your options and it is easier to find what I am looking for.
Since I have signed up, I couldn't decide whether to put a face pic on my profile or not. There are some pro's and con's to it. The con you sure know, we are afraid someone we know out side (work mates, family members or friends) might come across it and see it, we don't want that. However the importance of having a face pic on your profile is that you get a much better chance for people to contact you. Think about it, if you open a profile and you see a face pic same with a full body pic, you will much rather click or contact that person.
So my question is, what do you guys think? I have cock shots on my profile but as you know every other guy does the same thing, and woman are not really interested in cock only, they want to see who it is that they will be contacting.
Do I put a face pic or not?
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How to get 6 MONTHS FREE membership
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Publié :19/4/2009 10h01
Dernière mise à jour :27/5/2010 22h11 2642 vues
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Are you looking to get additional 6 months of membership on Passion.com for FREE?
Yes, it's possible and it's all legit... you will ask how? here is how it works:
To earn the Activity Bonus of 6 MONTHS FREE membership, just log in to your account, and follow the 2 steps below:
1. Send email to 3 people (not replies).
2. Make at least one approved blog or group post each month.
For more details go to the following link http://passion.com=46206390_24264
You can also check the status when you will get the 6 months free by going to the home page and on the left side look for "Check My Activity Bonus".
Good Luck!
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THE AD
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Publié :18/1/2007 6h10
Dernière mise à jour :21/10/2022 20h03 3202 vues
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After having read it for the third time, Danny shoved it into the envelope and dropped it through the mail slot. For better or worse it was on it's way now. The "it" was and ad in a local swingers magazine. Danny had seen ads by women and couples wanting to meet a guy with a big cock, and Danny had that in spades, a solid ten inches long and seven inches around, more than a mouth full to be sure!!! Danny decided to put in his own ad just to see if he could get any response, but really, he had no clue if he would receive any response or not!!!
Several weeks went by and Danny pretty much had forgotten all about placing the ad, until then one day his mail box contained not only one, but three letters from people interested in meeting him! Excitedly he opened the first letter, and found it was from a couple who lived in a nearby town who wanted to have a threesome! While Danny wasn't totally averse to a two male one female triad, for his first experience he really wanted to go with a solo woman. The next letter also was from a couple, and Danny was getting a little discouraged, that is until he read letter number three which was from a married woman who wanted to meet him alone. Reading on, Danny found out that she was a thirty five year old Caucasian named Valerie, 5'6" tall, 135lbs., a brunette, a 36C- cup bra, and a lover of oral sex with big men! She had enclosed a picture of her in a bikini, and also her phone number if Danny was interested. While not beautiful, Valerie was far from hard on the eyes, and after staring at the picture for about five more minutes, Danny reached for the phone and dialed the her number!!!
The phone rang about five times and he was just about to hang up, when he heard a feminine voice answer the phone, "Hello, this is Val, with whom am I speaking!?!" Now wondering what he had gotten himself into, Danny almost slammed down the receiver, but instead, in a shaky voice he stammered, "Hi, I'm the one you sent the letter to." In a smooth syrupy voice she asked, "And who am I speaking to?" "Uh, my name is Danny," he fumbled. "It's so nice of you to call me Danny," she said, "are you interested in meeting me?" "Yes," he replied, "I am." Well, Danny, tell me a little about your self," she asked. "Well um, I'm twenty three years old and I work at a tire store, besides selling tires, we replace shocks and mufflers and all that kind of stuff," he said. "Danny, you sound so nervous, are you," she asked? "A little," he said, "I've never done anything like this before!" "Well just relax, you want to meet me, don't you," she asked? "Oh I do," he said, now feeling a little bit more at ease, "when and where?!?" "How about at the bar in the Lucky Strike Bowling Alley," she suggested? "Yeah," he said, "that's okay with me, what time?" "How about tomorrow night at nine," she asked? "I'll see you there," he replied. After he hung up, he paced the room wondering about the wisdom of all this. Was he stupid? Of course! Should he call back and cancel? Probably! Would he? Not a chance!!!
Danny was sitting in a booth nursing a gin and tonic by 8:30, "No use being late," he thought to himself, while sipping his drink. He kept an eye on the door that opened out to the lanes, and in the back ground he could hear bowling balls slamming into pins, and although he was nervous, the gin seemed to calm him down. Suddenly there was someone standing next to him asking, "Are you Danny?" Jumping to his feet he introduced himself and they both sat down to talk. Danny motioned for the waitress to bring over a couple of more drinks, and while waiting for them, both of them gave each other the once over. When they realized what they both of them were doing, each of them broke out in laughter! The ice now broken, Valerie asked how he felt now that he could see her in person. Danny told her he was very happy and hoped she was too! Giving his hand a squeeze was the answer he was hoping for!!!
Where to start? Danny didn't exactly know how to bring up the reason they were there in the first place, that being Valerie wanting to suck a big cock, but Valerie took him off the hook by asking him if he had a girlfriend. He told her not right now, he kinda was in between at the moment. She then asked, "Did she like having your big cock?" Danny reddening said, "She did, but only regular sex, she didn't like oral sex much." "Do you like having your penis sucked, Danny," she asked softly? "Yes, very much," he replied! "Well I love having a very large man in my mouth," she sighed, "it makes me feel so powerful controlling such a huge pecker with mouth, do you have an erection right now!?!" He gulped hard and nodded yes while she went on, "I'm not wearing my panties or bra, do you want me to tell you how wet I am right now!?!" "Are you wet," Danny croaked, his throat tightening up thinking about Valerie's wet vagina. "I'm gushing just thinking about what's hanging between you legs, Danny," she offered, "I have a conversion van out in the parking lot, shall we go out so you can show me your penis!?!" "Let's go," he said!
Following Valerie out to her van, Danny couldn't help but think about her bare pussy under those tight jeans! He knew his dick was doing all the thinking for him, but all he could think about was getting his gun off! As they walked, Valerie said, "A real turn on for me is talking to strangers about their genitals and basic sex talk, it's exciting to ask someone if he has a big penis, or if he likes getting his pecker sucked, it really builds the sexual tension as you get into more intimate details." "For example," she asked, "do you like the feeling you get when a woman sees your huge member for the first time, well it's questions like that that make you concentrate on the other person's crotch."
Valerie's van was a big fancy conversion job that was loaded with all the comforts of home. In back were huge captain's chairs that could recline and swivel at the same time, so Danny sat down in one and leaned back, letting Valerie run the show. She pulled a curtain behind the two front seats blocking them from public view, and then turned around and got down on her knees in front of Danny and unbuttoned her shirt. Not taking it off, she gave Danny a flash of full tit flesh, and then went to work on his pants. When she finally had them loosened, she slowly pulled them off his hips until his now hard penis flopped out of it's prison. Valerie let out a low growl as the giant pecker bounced in front of her face! "God it's beautiful," she moaned, taking it in her hand like it was an expensive piece of china! Her small hands couldn't even reach around it as she slid them up and down the blue veined shaft! Even though his cock was big, it was the head of his cock that was the most impressive, with a huge mushroom shape that most women fell in love with the moment they saw it, and Valerie wasn't any different! Giving it small little kisses and tender licks, it was plain to see that she was now Danny's little cock hound! "It's even bigger than I had imagined," she gushed! "Suck it, bitch," Danny ordered! He now felt he had total control over her, and since she was so in love with his pecker she would do anything to just hold it in her hot little hands!!!
She slid the big head into her mouth, and soon was sucking on it like it was the only thing that could keep her alive! Danny reached down and slipped off her shirt, exposing her chest to the night air, tweaking her nipples roughly and sending her into a state of sexual hysteria! In the bar she had acted so in control, but now as she worshipped his massive pole, she was proving to be just another slave to his erection! Pushing her off his dick, he ordered her to take of her jeans. Scrambling to save time, she practically ripped them off her legs! "Sit back and spread your legs," Danny ordered. Valerie lay back with her legs spread wide apart and her pussy lips dripping with juice. "Play with it," he said as her hand went right to her crotch and two fingers disappeared into her hot little hole while she threw back her head and moaned as she flicked across her hard little clit as Danny fisted his pecker while watching her bring herself to the edge of orgasm!!! "Stop," Danny ordered, "come over here and sit on me." By this time Valerie was one large sexual nerve ending and it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge, so on very shaky legs, she climbed up onto Danny's lap and tried to slip his erection into here gaping slit, until finally he had to help her because she was too jittery to get it lined up! Taking hold of his shaft, he quickly touched his giant head to the opening of her hungry cunt, and after placing his hand on her shoulders, he forced her down onto his pole with one hard thrust, causing all ten inches to be buried deep into her pussy inducing her to orgasm as the walls of her cunt were spread by the massive invader! She screamed as the orgasm ripped through her body while Danny had to put his hand over her mouth to stifle her, as they were in the middle of a public parking lot! After she quieted down a little, Danny started thrusting upward into her burning snatch, and with every plunge Valerie fired off another huge orgasm. Danny leaned forward and sucked on one of her erect nipples, causing her to have even harder cums! Finally, passing the point of not return, Danny let loose a flood of cum deep inside Valerie's fuck box! Both of them now totally spent, they held on to each other as Danny's cock slowly began to soften inside the velvety hole.
Valerie kissed Danny full on the mouth thanking him for the wonderful ride. "Can we do it again real soon," she asked? "When ever I call you, baby," he said, "when ever I call you!" As they got dressed, Danny laughed to himself thinking, "I think I'll run another ad!"
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Worlds worst first date!
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Publié :2/1/2007 17h35
Dernière mise à jour :2/10/2022 21h41 3086 vues
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For all those people who thought they'd had the worst first date ever. This was on the Jay Leno show on 9-7-99. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers,after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte apres-ski. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she should try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her ski pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peaking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and needed some assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and peed her butt off the fender.
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Looking for a new... 2007
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Publié :31/12/2006 21h10
Dernière mise à jour :19/4/2009 10h06 2792 vues
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I want to wish you all a happy new year 2007
I am looking forward to a new year finding someone special I can chill out and have a good time with..
Be Happy and Stay Happy!!!
2007 Baby!
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A Very Kinky Christmas
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Publié :25/12/2006 7h38
Dernière mise à jour :6/1/2008 19h51 2837 vues
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Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the dungeon Not a creature was stirring not even a sub.
The armbinders were hung by the chimney with care, In the hopes that St. Goddess would soon be there;
The slaves were all nestled in their cages, While visions of spankings soon to became the new rage; And Mistress in her leather, and I in my cock prison, Had just settled down for a long evening session
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the rack to see what was the matter. Away to the window I hobbled across the rug, with a swing, the weights on my balls they did tug. The moon on the breast of the new-polished latex, Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects used out of context, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny slaves,With a Beautiful Woman, in a tight leather dress, I knew in a moment it must be St. Goddess. More rapid than eagles her slaves they all came, And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Sissy! Now, Slut! Now, Worm and Slave! On, Pony-boy! On, Pussy! On, Maggot and Knave! To the top of the rack! To the top of the Bondage Wall! Now spank away! Spank away! Spank away all!" As a hurried breath after a swat will escape When they are ordered, an ass they would begin to So up to the dungeon-top the slaves they flew, With the sleigh full of sex-toys, and St. Goddess too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard through the glass the shriek and the scream after each swat on the ass. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the stairs St. Goddess came with a bound.
From her head to her feet she was dressed in latex and leather, Her beauty was so stunning you could knock me over with a feather; A bundle of clamps she had hanging from her bod, If she knew what I was thinking she would spare me no rod. Her eyes -- how they twinkled! Her bosom so smooth! Her cheeks were like roses, her butt made my cock move!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer, and when I saw her strap-on, my heart jumped in fear; The shaft of a dildo she held tight in her hand, my ass she inspected and threatened to brand; She had a beautiful face and a little round butt, with a look of disdain she called me her mutt. She was tall and statuesque, a strict woman of power, in whose shadow I did cower;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head, Soon gave me to know I had something to dread; She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work, And filled all the armbinders; then turned with a jerk,She saddled me up and took me for a quick ride, And after giving a nod, up the stairs she did glide; She sprang to her sleigh, to her team she gave the leather, And away they all flew like the down of a feather.
But I heard her exclaim, ere she drove out of sight, "Happy Bondage to all, and to all a good-night."
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Christmas Break
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Publié :8/12/2006 12h09
Dernière mise à jour :6/1/2008 19h51 2879 vues
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Daughter comes home from college for Christmas vacation to stay with her widowed father, while both of her sisters were away for the holidays. She was the youngest daughter in the family, always her father's favorite. (MF, inc, rom)
Hi, my name is Sandra and this is a story about last Christmas break. I was home from college for the week between Christmas and New Years. It was just dad and me that year because both of my sisters were away, Kari was in Europe with her husband and two year old daughter and Charmie was in Colorado on a skiing trip with her boyfriend and his parents.
It was kind of cool having dad all to myself. Since mom died, dad has been sort of withdrawn and being just the two of us my mission was to draw him out a bit. So far we'd only had superficial talks but I planned to have some quality time with him before I returned to school.
What I hadn't planed on was what happened on Christmas Eve Night.
The weather was cold and snowy and we were home sitting in front of the log fire after I had made a traditional holiday dinner, you know, the
turkey thing and all the fixings. We were both a bit lethargic from all that L-Tryptophan and just sat companionably gazing into the fire.
For some reason my mind wandered back to my high school days, maybe it was just being home, but thoughts popped into my head of growing up and
of our family. Being the youngest daughter I had always been the "daddy's girl" in the family.
I loved my dad, maybe more than most daughters did, because (I know this will sound strange) I had reoccurring thoughts about what it would
be like to make love to him. I think most daughters have those kind of thoughts growing up, at least once or twice. But for me it was a
reoccurring image in my mind, I would imagine how it would be and how he would look, coming to me and how he would gently take me in his
arms, and you know, all the things that happen in a situation like that.
It's not that I ever seriously thought about acting on those fantasies, it was just that my dad is a sexy man. Even at 57 he's still trim and
good looking. And I guess I've always been in love with him more than most daughters.
I'd had sex enough time to know what it was all about. And many of those times while the guy was making love to me I'd imagine it was my
dad. I turned 20 last year and most of the guys I knew around my age were so self-centered and in my experience that usually equated into
"selfish" in bed too. So that made me think about my hero dad even more, and made me wonder how dad was with mom and whether they had had
a good sex life. I had to hope that there was something better out there than I'd had to date.
I know that dad hadn't dated much since mom died and that he seemed lonely in a private sort of way. And while sitting there on Christmas
Eve, looking into the fire, it occurred to me that my father had probably been celibate for more than 5 years by then. I couldn't
imagine being celibate for five weeks, much less five years.
I glanced at dad sideways, wondering if he masturbated and how often he did it. Surely he must do it, everyone did, even when having regular
sex. The thought of dad lying on his bed masturbating, his hand gripping his dick and groaning and cumming made me squirm in my chair.
That was a weird feeling being turned on by the thought of your parent jacking off.
With those strange thoughts running through my head, we finally went to bed.
I tossed and turned late into the night with images of my father making love to my mother, and then with Kari and Charmie and finally my
perverted little mind had me being plowed against the bed sheets as my dad thrust into me grunting softly with the effort to find his
pleasure.
I finally drifted off still dreaming that dad was doing me and moaning my name softly as he came in me, "Sandra honey. Oh Sandra my love..."
over and over again as we clutched each other desperately seeking... something.
*
Then it was morning. My eyes opened and I felt slightly beat up. I hadn't slept well and all that dreaming about sex had added to my
discomfort. I tried to shake myself out of my mood and got up to take a shower. I was going to make dad a good hearty breakfast.
As I sleepily trudged down the hall to the bathroom I heard Christmas music playing on the radio in the kitchen. So dad was already up. I
could smell the coffee, and I realized that I better hurry up or dad would be starving by the time I got into the kitchen.
As I turned the knob and swung the bathroom door open I realized in that instant that Dad wasn't in the kitchen, but in the bathroom,
standing in front of me, totally naked! He had been standing in front of the mirror masturbating to his image.
Oh my god! How embarrassing. Blood drained from my face and I momentarily felt like I was going to faint. I don't think there's
anything worse than actually stumbling on to a parent jacking off. Who would have ever thought it possible?
Dad realized at the same moment that I did what had just happened. His face turned bright pink and he ducked and covered himself helplessly
with his hands. I did an about face and hurried back to my room and sat down on my bed in total shock
What had I done? My big plan to make dad feel good again was in ruins I'd embarrassed him irretrievably. I couldn't believe I'd done it. I
wanted to cry. But image of my father leaning over the sink looking at himself while masturbating himself was firmly and permanently fixed in
my mind. The vision of his hand stroking his long stiff rod and his muscles flexing as he tensed his body in obvious pleasure, these were
all things I would never forget.
Then I remembered the expression on his face when he realized his daughter had caught him at it, that brought me back to earth with a
crash. What should I do now? Should I pretend that it didn't happen, try to act normally? Even as I considered this, I knew that it wouldn't
work, it would only force a wedge between us.
Then I looked up at a hesitant knock on my door. Dad's face came into view. "Honey, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have been doing that, it's
just... I feel so foolish, I'm too old to be..." his voice trailed off into silence.
I looked into his blue eyes and saw the worry and embarrassment in them and I felt miserable. I needed to remove that expression from my lovely
father's face, and for some reason I couldn't quite fathom, I wanted to prove to him that he wasn't too old or foolish.
My only excuse for what I did next might be because of all the fantasizing about dad I'd been doing the night before, and then to see
the real thing. I stood up and went to the door and took dad's hand in mine and brought him into the room with me. He was in his terry
bathrobe.
Dad started to mumble his apologies again, but I would have none of it. I stopped him by placing a finger on his lips and saying, "Daddy, I
love you. You don't need to apologize for something so natural. I do it all the time, so why do you think I wouldn't understand that you need
to do it too?"
Dad looked into my eyes, the worry still etched on his face and said, "Sweetie, it's just having you home, and, well... you're a beautiful
young woman now and... It's been so long since.... I should have controlled my urges better than that... I'm so sorry honey."
I stood there, still holding dad's hands, only now I was totally numb. What had he said? Had he said that he was turned on by me, his own
daughter? Then I thought back to the night before and realized that it was the same thing for me, I had fantasized all night long about dad
doing me, so how could I be upset if he did the same thing about me.
This was all so strange, so very strange. But without really thinking about it I pulled dad's lips to mine and kissed him. "It's okay dad," I
said after a long moment. "I love you and I've fantasized about you too."
I didn't want him to protest his innocents, to be forced into lying to me, so I pulled him down to sit beside me on the bed and kissed him
again, this time slipping a hand into his robe. He jumped and made to get up, but I held his lips to mine with my other hand behind his head
and continued to kiss him like I would a lover, opened mouthed.
Dad tried to pull away again, but then my hand in his robe found his manhood and I began to gently massage it, pulling and pushing gently as
I gave him more tongue. Then he wasn't fighting me any longer and I was getting tongue back.
Then before he regrouped, I was pushing him back onto the rumpled sheets of my bed and pulling his robe open. I didn't stop to think
about it, I just took him in my mouth and began to blow him, bobbing my head over his stiff member, pushing my lips up and down his shaft and
tonguing him like I'd done for my boyfriends loads of times.
Then when he was throbbing and hard, I was climbing out of my pajamas and up dad's body, kneeling on either side of his hips. He was looking
up at me and I was looking down at his stiff prick wondering vaguely how this had all come about, but he looked like a man to me, so I moved
up and positioned him at my entrance and sank down on him.
"Ohhhh god! Sandra!" was all he said. Then there was a hip jerk and then another and soon he was fucking up at me with a passion. Then we
were rolling on the bed sheets and he was on top of me humping away with abandon, like a prisoner just freed after years of being locked
away.
I remember my dad's body on top of mine and his stiff throbbing tool thrusting in and out of me. His breath was whispering against my neck
and his maleness was all around me and I thrilled at the sensation. I was living my fantasy from the night before, my dad was making love to
me.
I gasped as his body tensed above me and he shoved in deep and held himself there, then he bucked once and held himself against me again,
then his hips jerked again, and then again and I knew he was filling me with his cum. It was really happening. Stars went off in my head and my
own powerful orgasm smashed through my body.
I think I screamed out my joy to the heavens, I know that we ended up on the floor, lying side by side giggling like idiots and panting for
breath. I felt so truly fucked, my body glowed with contentment and I felt like purring with happiness.
"Oh dad, you were so wonderful! No one has ever made me feel like that before."
Dad just hugged me fiercely to his body and whispered in my ear, "You're my "daddy's girl" Sandra, you always will be. I love you best."
I knew that, I always had.
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Doctor's Visit
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Publié :6/12/2006 16h56
Dernière mise à jour :29/4/2024 6h8 2749 vues
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An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examinations on the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
"In fact, I do", said the man. "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
"This is very interesting", replied the doctor.
"Let me do some research and get back to you."
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns. The doctor then asked: "your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that old buzzard!" she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"
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Love, Lust and Marriage
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Publié :5/12/2006 23h39
Dernière mise à jour :29/4/2024 6h8 2812 vues
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How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?
LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.
LOVE - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - all other times.
MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?
LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.
LOVE - when you share everything you own.
LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.
LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - what's a climax?
LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Gidday".
LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.
LOVE - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - when all you write is cheques.
LOVE - when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST - when you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV.
LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling ...".
LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?".
MARRIAGE - when your farewell is silent.
LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake.
LOVE - when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST - when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties everytime you see them.
LOVE - when nobody else matters.
LUST - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - when it's just the same mushy old shit.
MARRIAGE - when you never listen to music.
LOVE - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - when just getting through today is your only thought.
LOVE - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.
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Dildo
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Publié :5/12/2006 23h39
Dernière mise à jour :29/4/2024 6h8 2769 vues
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A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on.
One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo on her.
She says: "Honey, how could you do this! All this time you've never told me. Explain yourself immediately!!"
The husband says: "OK, I'll explain, but first you have to explain the kids."
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FIRST TIME
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Publié :5/12/2006 23h30
Dernière mise à jour :19/4/2009 10h05 2792 vues
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces that after dinner, she would like to go out and have sex for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents' house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"
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