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A trip down memory lane
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Publié :6/10/2013 7h22
Dernière mise à jour :30/1/2014 5h53 137212 vues
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There is humility when a man fucks your wife.
There is a sense of never turning back, and subsequently forever damaging the armor that surrounds your male ego.
You live with the sights and sounds of him doing it better, more so than you could. You live with the thoughts and the impressions, and the constant denials of the truths you witnessed.
As I was looking through old files this morning I can across this picture.
It was taken by Ron one evening when he came over to fuck her. It was just the two of them, as I was working late and planned on ‘joining’ them later that evening.
The following morning he emailed that picture he took, a memento, as he called it, as they prepared a glass of wine together.
The caption read: ‘Your wife looks so beautiful here. She is an elegant woman. We fucked twice before you got home and it was nice to see you when you finally got there. Next time I won’t tire her out before you become involved. She’s an extravagant lover.’
His words were haunting, humiliating, honest, and sexual gasoline to me. Personally I never saw that side of her, and still to this day I haven’t.
But, each time she beds her boyfriend I am reminded of that evening and many others like it over the years.
On that night I walked in I saw them.
It was one of many times I saw them together, as she liked getting started without me.
No wonder.
As I crept down the hallway to our room, I saw her lying face down on the bed and he was on top fucking her with intense power and speed. It was amazing to watch, and I knew right then and there, I was no match, no interest, and no man for her.
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Why am I a cuckold?
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Publié :12/9/2013 7h51
Dernière mise à jour :15/1/2014 6h49 147883 vues
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This was a question asked by a dear reader of ours.
In this blog I have talked about my wife, us, her lovers, and the lifestyle in general. But seldom, if ever, have I talked about myself.
Her question brings lots of thought, and one I’ll try my best to explain.
I think for most people, me included, discovering sexuality is something that occurs over time, mostly as you get older and venture into adulthood. When you’re younger, especially with guys, you tend to follow what your friends are doing or the fad at that particular time.
But I have always been different sexually.
While my buddies chased after size zeros, I preferred a voluptuous woman.
While my buddies drooled over two girls together, I enjoyed watching two men and one woman.
Early on sex was an unknown to me. I grew up in a conservative home, and didn’t fully engage in sex until my late teens.
As I began exploring I realized there was much more to it than I knew or even thought of. I knew the term gay, only as a slang, but never really understood what it was until I started viewing porn.
I also had an interest or curiosity in bisexuality, and again, porn allowed me to examine it more closely.
Porn opened so many doors and ideas of what sex was, or could be. Being a thinker by nature, and applying thought and porn was appetizing idea and concept to me.
It was there where I discovered swinging, voyeurism, exhibitionist, group play, and the theory that sex could and can involve more than two people.
As I started dating I explored that scene with a girlfriend of mine at the time. We swapped, but it didn’t seem all that natural for me participating. So I didn’t.
I preferred watching.
I enjoyed the thrill.
I was fascinated by the way these other men fucked my partner, and way my partner reacted to it.
It was different than the way I did it, and she reacted different too. As we became more involved with swinging it was my girlfriend who suggested going more often and after a while she had a regular guy who she fucked there at the club. I would always watch her. At the time you never really grasp the reasons, mostly because as a younger person I was still naïve to sex and never really understood why she preferred sex with this other man over me.
He was tall and as I look back, had defined alpha traits. His cock was large and while he fucked her she came. She also ‘climaxed’ with me, but I have a feeling she faked it.
As that relationship ended, I decided on just exploring sex by myself, which led me down various roads of one night stands, and friends with bennys.
I’ve thought a great deal about this over time, the women I’ve been with, and the sex we shared.
Most times sex was plain. Very plain.
There was passion involved, kissing and petting, but once intercourse came that all ended. It was a matter of motions for my partner whom at times appeared bored, with her night ending either manually pleasuring themselves, or me pleasuring them through oral sex while she tugged on her clit. Either way, I couldn’t get them off.
As I continued through the dating scene my partners preferred oral sex over intercourse. It was something I was good at, but until I got older I never really understood why they chose that over sex.
As I met my wife the same ideals and actions followed. We used to have sex, a lot of sex, but she was always quiet, very reserved, even though we had passion and all the accessories.
Much like before, once penetration started all that excitement whizzed out as I pumped anyway on top oblivious to the obvious.
In my free time I would browse the net. I still enjoyed swinging and wanted very much to include my wife in it.
I decided on talking to her about it where she infinitely said ‘no.’
She had no interest in bringing another woman into our marriage.
Simple as that.
But it wasn’t the woman I was after.
I secretly wanted to see her with another man. I also wanted to explore my bisexuality in the comfort of her through that experience.
She liked that fantasy, and we played a lot to it. I fucked her and she partook in the idea of me sucking his cock, or eating her pussy after he came inside her.
She was involved in our sex for the first time as she thought about it and described ‘his’ large cock fucking her.
She was vocal, in tuned, and into it.
It was great, in dreamy world, but once I suggested it for real, then the reservations came out.
After the novelty of that wore off sex became plain again. But I wanted more, much more.
It would be years before I approached the topic again.
.
.
.
In the mean time I started surfing the internet. It was such a great tool and more convenient than clubs and bookstores. I attended blogs and chat rooms about swinging and wife sharing. It was incredibly hot, and I wanted badly what those people had.
Most were for play, but there were some that were real.
Then one day I met Joe online.
Joe was a cuckold and had a blog about cuckolding and his wife’s adventures. I had no idea even what the term meant at the time, but his blog contained pictures and stories of his wife as she fucked other men. She had several ongoing relationships with his full support, all the while, having a committed and loving marriage of 25 years, at the time.
His writings were pure, sincere and real. It was different than anything I had ever read at the time. I could relate to his words. He talked of his wife’s lack of interest, her matter of fact demeanor during sex with him, and I immediately thought about me and my past and present sexual experiences.
It was if I had written those words.
One day out of the blue I emailed him, and in the mean time, researched what a cuckold was.
Wow!
I was shocked, and hoped he didn’t answer back.
It was a strange lifestyle that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a part of. I never viewed my wife as a slut or the idea of her cheating behind my back wasn’t something I wanted to explore.
It was a little too racy for me, more less her.
But, Joe did email me back, and thus started a friendship that lasted a couple years. It was through those mails I learned a lot about me and a lot about cuckolding.
One of the first things I learned about cuckolding is the difference between living cuckolding couples, and theater. Couples have love, a bond, the images and websites you see online have budgets and bottom lines.
That’s a big difference between fiction and non.
Every time I suggested my wife didn’t like or wasn’t interested in sex he would counter with ‘she likes sex, just not with you.’
At first those words were brutal to hear, but if you’re honest with yourself and looking at the truth rather than discontent, they’re true.
Talking with Joe I realized a lot about myself.
I am bi.
I’m not into penetration all that much.
I can’t fuck, and don’t really know how to use my dick.
I am a voyeur, prefer to masturbate, and I have submissive traits, which was something Mark brought out years later.
And most importantly, I am a cuckold.
Learning this gave me more perspective on my sexual relationship.
It gave me more perspective on me.
For the first time in my life it all made sense.
She did like sex, as did the girls before her. It was horrible of me to incline otherwise. But understanding my wife’s love and deep bond to me could also be supplemented by her sexual attraction to alpha men who can fuck, also made sense.
As I think about my swing club days with my girlfriend the same applies. She loved me, but I couldn’t fuck her the way she needed. That man could, and did.
I talked again with my wife about inviting a man into our bed, a bi man, and not a couple. She liked that idea, and liked the thought of me participating with the same sex.
It took months of talking about feelings and boundaries before we took that leap. But even as our sex life opened to others it wasn’t until after she dated Ron I told her about cuckolding, and explained that’s who I was and most comfortable with.
Her relationship with Ron was a cuckolding relationship. He knew it, and I think we all did, way before I said anything.
It started out as the three of us, but quickly turned to him and her. It was natural to be honest, me watching as she fucked, but I struggled with the feelings of her showing different emotions with him then with me. It brought back memories of the swing club and now brought insecurities which weren't around then.
It was Joe who set me straight.
‘That’s her enjoying sex,’ he’d say, ‘nothing more.’
I struggled with that for years, and it wasn’t all bad. It fueled my kinky and perverted side, which in the end, made it easier to accept.
To all my questions Joe had answers, and his answers made sense. It was right in front of me, but sometimes you’re glasses are too thick with self pity and ‘why’s to see it.
She still loved me; nothing’s changed.
I please her, just not in the sexual sense, as I remembered the part about her love for me and her sexual attracted to a specific type of man.
.
.
Cuckolds have this ongoing battle within between not being able to pleasure sexually and watching those who can, and not admitting or accepting that, can send ruffles throughout the relationship.
My wife and I learned that during Ron.
Over time other men have came and we’ve tweaked our relationship to fit our needs. But I can say this; I’ve never been as content as I am now with our sex life. And I think I can answer for us both with that.
It’s not perfect, nothing is. There are still days when I’m human and wish I could take her and fuck her the way an alpha man can, but it’s just not me. She knows that, as do I.
Cuckolding isn’t a bad word. It’s not scary, It’s an unknown, or little known word.
And I would speculate, there are lots of knowing cuckolds out there besides me.
Why am I a cuckold? Well, the shoes fits, it’s fun, and it works for us.
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Bad can be good (her)
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Publié :17/5/2014 7h39
Dernière mise à jour :2/6/2014 9h05 101210 vues
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I had the most wonderful time with my husband. We shared a bath together. We talked, he shaved my legs, and afterwards we had sex... Actual sex! Like cock into pussy sex... lol
I was shocked, and even more surprised when he asked if we could. It had been literally months, like 10 according to his recollection. I had no idea it had been that long.
In the water I gripped him in my hands. He was really hard. His dick feels so much different that Phil's. The size is one thing, but my husbands cock curves upward slightly, while Phil's is more straight. As I was playing with him I was getting excited. I was horny for my husband. I think a lot of that had to do with the time in between, but I was curious and wanting him inside me. I didn't tell him that, I just privately enjoyed that moment.
We got out of the bath and got into bed. Our bodies were still wet as he climbed on top of me. His cock went inside and he was hard. It felt really good.
Sex with my husband and Phil are totally different. Night and day different. One is take charge, alpha, while the other is plain and submissive. I never have to tell Phil how to fuck me, to go faster or harder, but with my husband I do.
Regardless it felt good. It felt good to be close to him in that manner. I didn't cum through sex. I never have with him that way. I came with his mouth. And what a satisfying orgasm it was
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I feel good (her)
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Publié :15/5/2014 6h35
Dernière mise à jour :17/5/2014 6h40 102131 vues
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I am in such a good mood. I'm rarely up this early, but I am, enjoying a nice cup of coffee.
My sex with Phil was fabulous! My pussy is addicted to his cock! lol
When he got here on Tuesday I had just gotten out of the shower. I didn't bother getting dressed. I feel very sexy naked around him. I immediately kissed him. I just about melted.. He touched me with both hands as he hugged me. I got the chills.. His open palms across my back and butt.... That what he does to me..
I couldn't keep my own hands off him. I could feel his cock against me while we kissed. I immediately opened his pants and gripped it. His dick is perfect for me.
We went to bed and had sex. A mornings worth. The first time was quick. Afterwards we talked some and kissed before going again which was longer. His cock felt so right in me giving me a series of orgasms...
I didn't want the morning to end. Neither of us did. But unfortunately it had to for the both of us.
I think my husband knows I've had sex. That's just a feeling I get. Granted I have done nothing to hide it. Our relationship has gotten more intimate lately without it leading into our sex or him even suggesting it.. I don't mind that. It feels wonderful having him hold me in bed.
Tonight I've decided to be with my husband, just he and I. It's been weeks, long enough I can't remember. I'm actually excited for that. I miss him.
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Spontaneity is good (her)
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Publié :13/5/2014 6h40
Dernière mise à jour :20/5/2014 5h47 102244 vues
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What a beautiful morning... My husband is playing golf early today. He just left. I am playing too.. Not golf though..
I think I woke him up.. He didn't seem to mind though.. lol Phil's going to stop by on his way into the office this morning. I'm so excited, or I think wet would be a more accurate term for me For the first time in weeks my husband asked about Phil, or specifically, if I had talked to him. I just smiled. I think he knows something but he hasn't pressed any further. It's time for me to jump into the shower.. is there anything better than morning sex???
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If you're not chicken
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Publié :11/5/2014 7h11
Dernière mise à jour :2/6/2014 9h04 102687 vues
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flirtatiousone4u posted this on her blog this morning. She thought it would be a fun idea to re-blog it! A girl can't help but to be excited about this rating!!
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The most perfect day (her)
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Publié :10/5/2014 14h00
Dernière mise à jour :11/5/2014 6h55 102533 vues
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I am sitting here in my husband’s chair writing. I feel so good both mentally and physically. I have so much to say…, so many things running through my mind. He fucked me in the family room on the floor!!! It just sort of happened. I love it when he asserts himself like that.
I am smiling, sitting here in the same chair my husband uses when he writes postings. I feel close to him in a nerdy way.
I’m still naked. I smell like him still. Like Phil’s cologne. I’m debating whether I should shower. My husband will definitely know something’s up if I smell like a man when he gets home.. lol Maybe I should. I’m not ready to tell him yet. I feel powerful.. We talked about that the other night during our bath. He told me I deserved it. I do. It feels wonderful.
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There’s nothing on TV (her)
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Publié :7/5/2014 16h21
Dernière mise à jour :7/5/2014 16h38 103181 vues
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So here I am in my motel room. I had a late lunch, early dinner, which ever you’d like to call it. The restaurant downstairs is ok, I suppose. The food was good, nothing spectacular just a chicken salad and a glass of wine. My plan was to eat then take warm bath and settle in, channel surfing and unwinding. That’s not happening, the 35 channels here there’s nothing on, unless you’re into hunting on the wild plains, sports, news reruns or the Home Shopping Network. So here I am….
I feel better than I did earlier. My feelings I guess were working overtime. I did talk to my husband about them. Actually we took a bath together. It’s romantic even through sex isn’t part of the plan. We talked, so long in fact that the water became cold.. lol I told him my thoughts, my feelings and maybe insecurities about seeing Phil alone.
I think when someone shows they love you through more than words, their emotions and sentiments mean so much more. It’s easy to have sex with him the other room, but when he wasn’t there suddenly it felt, well, like cheating. I know, he’s knows but still…
Afterwards I felt good about myself, about us, and Phil and I. In a way I think I was always at that point, I just needed to hear it from him. I needed to hear him say it, and see the sincerity about me in his eyes. He gave that to me. He didn’t press for details of what might or might not have happened. He didn’t press me into something. He just listened and assured me.
I’m planning to see Phil on Friday. My husband is playing golf, weather permitting, and doesn’t know. I’m taking the afternoon off.
I am ready to have sex. My husband say’s that too. He did the other night with me. It felt right to hear him say that.
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Is this really what it’s about? (her)
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Publié :4/5/2014 10h35
Dernière mise à jour :4/5/2014 14h11 103604 vues
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I did it. I fucked another man without him. It didn’t feel any different, other than seeing my husband afterwards and sharing it with him. In a way that was comforting to me, it validated me as his spouse and as a woman. I needed to see that look on his face, the desire and excitement for me in his eyes. I missed that part last time, until later that evening when he got home from work, and still I doubt he had any idea his face was licking were Phil’s cock had been hours earlier. Either that or he’s not letting on a thing.., which for him would be very hard to do..
You can talk about open marriages and available wives, but if the person who you share this with isn’t there with you, it almost seems for not.
It was almost cold. Not the sex, the sex itself and the afternoon was wonderful… I could have sex every day with him. But the aftermath of it was missing something. After Phil left it was just me. My husband wasn’t here to share that with me. He wasn’t here to share in my sex and how good I felt..
I don’t know if this is a phase or first time jitters.. Having sex with Phil alone at his house was exciting to me. I liked it. I liked doing it alone. But the most comforting factor was my husband waiting for me at home. He was my security blanket and in a way my validation, that I could openly date another man and have him waiting for me with open arms when I returned, all horny for me and my details. It’s an incredibly powerful feeling that reaches way beyond sex.
We don’t talk very much about it anymore, me sleeping with Phil alone. Not like we used to anyways. Maybe I’ll bring it up and talk with him about my feelings without letting on what’s happened. But I don’t know how convincing I’ll be...
When we first started talking about this my husband didn’t want to know until I was ready to tell him. I agreed, and wanted it like that too, unless he found out on his own. This would give me a chance to blog, write some and communicate with others.
But I’m not ready to tell. I know I want to have sex again and see if the next time is better than this one. I think I need that, even if it’s better by a small margin.
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I can go for this (her)
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Publié :3/5/2014 8h23
Dernière mise à jour :4/5/2014 6h43 103344 vues
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I seldom look at porn. I can't remember the last time I did to be honest. But this morning while reading some posts I did. I found this.
I really enjoy it when Phil's behind me like that. His arms wrapped around my body. It just feels so wonderful when he fucks me like this. Speaking of sex I will not be having any this weekend. I'm bummed. My husband is home this weekend, and I suppose if I really pressed the issue I could. But I don't really. I will wait to be alone. Maybe this week? We will see..
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Why do I like it? (her)
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Publié :28/4/2014 14h50
Dernière mise à jour :1/5/2014 6h00 102116 vues
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That question was asked of me and it made me think about it. I mean, what kind of a question is that? Wouldn’t any woman enjoy being married and having a lover? If you would of asked me that 7 years ago I would have thought you were out of your mind.. The thing I want to stress is that it took me/us years to get here. Having two men in your life openly, was something I needed to get used to. I dealt with emotional feelings of right and wrong and spiritual questions too. “Normal” married couples don’t do this? Do they? It was a freefall of questions I had for myself, and mostly I didn’t want that “slut” label. To me that’s right up there with the “C” word.
In the early days that’s all we talked about. My husband was very convincing, but also he was in tuned with our own sex. He could see it. And I could too at times.. But I would never say anything to him like that. It was just one of those "it is what it is" types of moments.
My sex life with my husband was always different. Sex was never something I really wanted totally. I mean I did want to have sex, but I never felt compelled to start it. And when we had it I was often left unsatisfied. I’ve realized that once I started sleeping with other men. The first time I had sex with someone else I got off. It felt wonderful, but I felt horrible for doing so, like I enjoyed it too much or something.. My husband who was watching was hurt… I could see it in his eyes and that started years of honesty with each other about feelings and sex. Those were tough times for us. Not so much in the physical state, but the emotional state. I felt so bad for enjoying it with them, and not so much with the man I loved. He was very understanding and as I found out later, he already knew it. At first I thought he was crazy, telling me how much he liked watching me. Really? What kind of man likes to watch his wife have sex with others??? Well, mine… I didn't want the hassles this brought initially. Part of that is mine to blame. I wasn't all the way honest. But sometimes the truth hurts people. But I was intrigued by the lifestyle. I was interested. We both were interested.
So why do I like it now? I love men. Men are sexy! I love sex with other men. I love fucking without feeling bad because I like it, and because I cum through it. That was something that never happened before... I love what it does to my husband. I get to be dominating and tell him what I want, if anything from him. And I love the desire he has for me afterwards. I love the attention. It makes me feel like a woman. It’s not that my husband doesn’t, he does. But being admired, desired, and flirted with by a stranger is always appealing and so good for the ego! LOL
I have never fallen for anyone I’ve dated. That’s a common question men would ask me. I never will either. I’m not seeking love. I have that. I’m seeking sex with someone who can give that me. I can say I was naïve as anyone when my husband introduced this to me. To me sex equaled love or emotional bond. But once you’re married or in a committed and secure relationship with someone, I learned and realized that you can love someone else while having sex with others without the attachment or desire for that attachment. That sounds for male.. LOL But it’s true!
I do like this. We both like this, but it’s not who we are outside of here. The older we get we both realize this isn’t going to last forever. And like all things it will become stale and old. Finding lovers is something that’s tedious and a long process. And the games and deceit is something I can do without. But for now I like it. I have two wonderful men in my life!!
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