Foot 'n Mouth syndrome strikes again
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Publié :13/6/2008 15h25
Dernière mise à jour :17/6/2008 13h15 2765 vues
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Well, we are all likely quite used to my idiotic burblings on any number of subjects, but I realize that I have yet again really stuck my foot in my mouth (or perhaps just stomped all over my typing fingers).
After my last post, I got a delightful email from a really cute guy in the area I am moving to basically laughing at me for being a moron yankee and assuming that no one in Arkansas is educated. Going back and reading it, I can totally see how it could be read that way, but please let me assure all of my (hopefully!) new friends south of the Mason-Dixon line that is no means what I was trying to say. To make matters even worse, I am from Memphis originally and got irritated beyond words when people made assumptions regarding my intelligence level based on my (very sexy, if I do say so myself) Southern drawl.
I seriously considered taking the post down so as to not further offend anyone, but felt as though it was just punishment for the world to see what an idiot I am sometimes. All said and done, I look forward to meeting all the well mannered (I do love that quality!), smart, hot Southern guys that I have missed out on for the last 10 years that I have been away. Maybe one of y'all can even teach me some manners .
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PhDslut4u
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Publié :11/6/2008 18h44
Dernière mise à jour :12/7/2008 14h08 2592 vues
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As you may have heard, I have just taken a new job in Arkansas and will be relocating shortly. Being the proactive passion'er that I am, I have started scoping out the possibilities for meeting people in this section of the country and surprise, surprise, I am not having a lot of luck finding the type of guy that I have gotten accustomed to chatting with here in the Twin Cities (this is the buckle of the bible belt I am going to, so that may severly diminish the pool of suitable specimens, but regardless).
I have brought this up to one of my friends who has suggested that I change my handle to PhDslut4u (I admit, I really have a thing for overly educated brainiacs, not necessarily at the PhD level - and if they happen to have any social skills or a nice rear end, it is about all I can do to keep my panties on - figuratively speaking, of course). So here I am with a dilemma: how does one go about introducing oneself to a bunch of new people in a new area - staying friendly, not aloof, but still maintaining an admitidly high level of pickiness when meeting said guys? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I really don't think I will have that much in common with a bunch of guys whose education level is a standard "some high school" or a "high school graduate" - damn, I have become a snob.
On the other hand, does anyone happen to know a few tall hot doctors in Arkansas they would be willing to share?
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Thanks for the memories
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Publié :1/6/2008 17h47
Dernière mise à jour :4/6/2008 16h36 2555 vues
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I was reading smartasswoman's blog "miss smarty" and got the most wonderful sense of nostalgia since she put up a post about one of my favorite passion memories: I guess I'm an old fart] (I'll let all y'all try to figure out which part I play in this one  - not that it is much of a challenge)
Back to business - I have to give a shout out to Package1971 and Smartasswoman for their awesome blog posts and will say that I am looking forward to them keeping me up to date on the twin cities happenings.
Thanks to all of you - enjoy the stories of Package and Smartass.
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A serious post - please respond: The Follow Up
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Publié :1/6/2008 16h49
Dernière mise à jour :4/6/2008 15h33 2958 vues
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You may have read last week that I was considering a job out-of-state. First off, thanks for all of the thought provoking responses, you made some very good points. I accepted the position on Friday and have been tied in knots pretty much since then, given the enormity of the change and the just the magnitude of what a move of this scope will do to my life (not to mention that of my family). This afternoon, I went to visit a friend who was going to help me with my Excel deficiency, and I made the idiot mistake of forgetting my computer (then nearly forgot my notebook when leaving) - I am a freaking mess, but excited.
In general, I feel good about this opportunity - it is a great position, so logically, this makes a lot of sense. People had been curious about the state of the company - I assure you, it is not a start up and quite a lot of people would consider this company the "Evil Empire" of the south, but they do have interesting work going on in my field, so far be it from me to complain.
On the other hand, I am incredibly sad to leave all of the great friends I have made here, especially those via passion. As pathetic as this sounds, I am really going to miss tall hot doctor. I know I am a total booty call to him, but the thought of leaving and him fucking someone else is just ripping me up. That is probably one of the best reasons of all for me to hightail it out of town - i.e. before I become crazy stalker woman or something, but crap, shouldn't a smart decision feel better than all of this?
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A serious post - please respond
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Publié :28/5/2008 19h39
Dernière mise à jour :30/5/2008 21h58 2803 vues
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I am truly torn about a quasi-serious decision that I have to make - it is not the least bit sex related, so if you are looking for that sort of thing, just move along now before writing mean comments on my blog
I have a job offer for a great position out of state (actually, back down south, not that far from where my family is - that is a positive). This sounds like a fabulous group of people to work with and they are doing very interesting/groundbreaking work as a whole. The pay is good and the area seems friendly with a low cost of living.
On the other hand, the benefits package is pretty bad and the building they work in is horrid - not to mention the fact that I just don't know if I can hang with this group, intelligence-wise. I am not the most gifted when it comes to manipulating Excel and Power Point, which I know will be a significant part of this role (is it possible to attain any level of decent expertise in a really short time).
My current boss is a bitch, so I would not mind leaving her behind, but I do know I can coast though this job as long as I need to and I am sure that I could get another job offer at some point. So I am totally torn as I have to give an answer on this job offer on Friday. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks!
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Rent-A-Sex-Toy
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Publié :25/5/2008 18h11
Dernière mise à jour :19/10/2009 5h04 2499 vues
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As I was pondering some excitement for the weekend and browsing the internet for ideas, I came across some interesting sex toy sites. Now, I am not all that into a lot of toys, and can even admit that I have no clue as to how some of these devices are even supposed to be used - but given that some of them did look pretty intriguing, my curiosity got the better of me.
In particular, the fucking machines and sex swings did pique my interest but I about fell over when I realized that the prices ranged anywhere from $150 for a decent looking sex swing to $725 for a fucking machine. To make that kind of investment, you really need to know what you like and be pretty damn into that one thing in order to find a place to keep such things (not to mention, have really open-minded house guests).
My sense of experimentation came to a screeching halt, but my sense of entrepreneurship kicked into high gear. What if there was a way to rent a high quality sex toy to see if you really do like it or if you just want to shake up your sex life a little bit? Now I am not talking about the insertable parts (because that would just be icky), but provided everything is well cleaned, who wouldn't be up for the occasional full body restraint system? I mean hell, we sleep on hotel matresses that have had all manner of dirty kinky things done on them - so really, is there much of a difference here?
Granted, I did not get an MBA to set up a sex toy business (or any other business, for that matter), but whoever out there might have one, can I get on your mailing list?
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Bad porn
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Publié :18/5/2008 19h52
Dernière mise à jour :27/5/2008 17h14 3120 vues
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There are few things in life as funny and well, kind of pathetic as bad porn movies, and I have found a doozy in my current collection. I was hanging out on my couch this weekend, watching some new porn that I had gotten and getting pretty into it (I had the vibrator on high and everything), when the most absurd thing happened that I totally lost my near-orgasm due to laughing. One of the actors (this was an Australian movie) mooed. Yes, mooed - as in the sound a cow makes.
Even in Australia, I can't really see that kind of thing being sexy or a turn on. It was a damn hot scene up to that point - two fabulous looking guys dp'ing a tight little blonde they were actually holding up between them, when apparently one of them was so overcome by the experience that he felt the need to express the animalistic nature of the intercourse by emitting a rather long, high-pitched "mooooo". I had to rewind that part a couple of times to confirm that I heard what I thought I heard (did I mention that I was also kind of pissed off that I lost some good momentum towards a really hard orgasm?). In all honesty, it still kind of makes me giggle - the guy had the most screwed up looking face as he was mooing.
Now I am all for being totally in the moment when fucking a hot blonde (brunette or redhead, too for that matter), but at what point do you have to be uptight about how you look or sound? I would be mortified if I mooed, and the guy who caused said mooing broke out in laughter and asked me to do it again several times just to see if that is what he really heard. I am fairly certain that I have never mooed, but I may have meowed or yelped or something at some point - did some guy rehash the episode over a couple of beers with buddies saying "what the fuck?!?! did she just actually make an animal sound?"
I am not losing sleep over the situation, but still, I did have to take a moment to think about reactions and the like - oh, and also to be really really thankful that none of my animal-noise emitting moments were committed to film.
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Musings on a Semi-Successful Meet (Part 6, I think)
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Publié :14/5/2008 18h16
Dernière mise à jour :17/5/2008 4h35 2498 vues
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So last night, I was supposed to meet one of my blog fans (see, if you profess admiration for my blog, I might let you buy me a drink  . I got all dolled up to meet this person after work - I put on mascara, damnit! - and found myself at a decent bar in Roseville to await this meeting. Luckily, I had brought a few papers to read since I know that rush hour can be a bit of a bitch and settled in with a couple of gin and tonics.
About 15 minutes after I was supposed to meet this person with no one showing up, I was starting to get a little nervous, and admitidly, a lot pissed off since the plans to meet had been made the night before (not like he could really have forgotten in that time). I did notice that the guy next to me kept checking his blackberry and looked sort of vaguely like the picture of the person I was supposed to meet, so I very innocently asked him if he was Mr. X. Obviously the guy had had a little bit to drink and had watched way too many cheesy porn movies, turns to me and, I kid you not, says "If you want me to be".
Alright, it was about all I could do not to giggle, but I thought it was kind of cute that he thought he was being all smooth so I continued to chat with him (oh, and he was buying me drinks - and some delightful seared tuna, romantic, I know). He asked me why I asked who he was and proceeded on with the even more cheesy "how could he stand up someone as pretty as you?..." Now please understand, I am not one of these women who gets compliments, even as totally transparent as these, on any sort of regular basis (or even on a random basis) so I was completely flattered by this schlock. Long story short, I did make out with him in the parking lot a little bit, just for the effort, and well, he was kind of cute, and gave him my number before heading home.
But, SG, you may be asking, what happened to poor Mr. X whom you so callously cast aside to make out with a total stranger who did not even profess awe at your fabulous blogging skills and witty reparte? Well, I got home and sent a rather terse email consisting of: "hm, did I miss you this evening - I was at the bar, but perhaps I went totally blind". This morning, I got an email back with: "I was at the bar too". Something was definitely not adding up since right after that was the location of a restaurant much closer to my house than the one I went to and I realized, oh shit, I was at the wrong place. Oops, my bad, sincerest apologies to Mr. X for thinking unkind thoughts and for totally not reading the email thoroughly, um, sorry.
Regardless, I do hear that he got a free beer out of the deal too at the bar he was hanging out at - probably for the same reason I did, some chick felt bad that he had been stood up too. Anyway, it was not a lost evening on my end, so other than feeling like a total moron, I am going to chalk yet another meet up in the semi-successful category and keep my fingers crossed that eventually one of these things will work out on some level. One of these days the stars have to be in alignment.
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Coffee-flavored pussy?!?!
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Publié :11/5/2008 17h09
Dernière mise à jour :4/6/2008 5h29 3099 vues
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This morning as I was on my, oh, fifth cup of coffee, I was reminded of the strangest statement I have ever heard while a guy was going down on me. Just as I was really getting into what this guy was doing with his tongue, he lifts his head up and says something to the effect of "oh wow, your pussy is coffee flavored". Coffee flavored?!?!? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I admit, I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, and luckily, he did not seem to require an answer as he picked back up with what he was doing, but ever since then (and this was years ago) I have been self conscious about what I apparently taste like. Can you control that sort of thing by say, eating a lot of strawberries or pineapple for a week if you are hoping to get a little oral on the weekend? What flavors do guys perfer? Is there something seriously fucked up with me?
Anyway, that is all a bit much for me to consider on a Sunday morning over coffee and I don't really care enough to put the coffee cup down, but I would be interested to hear other people's take on this whole situation. Bon Appetit!
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Holy Shit! I just got fan mail!
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Publié :7/5/2008 18h16
Dernière mise à jour :8/5/2008 19h34 2689 vues
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I just have to thank my one fan out there for sending props regarding my blog. Actually, I just wanted to point out that someone likes me, someone really like me! I hope the author doesn't mind me posting this, but I am so freakin' thrilled that someone enjoys reading my pointless ramblings, so here it is:
"Oh my god, I love your blog so much!!!!! I wish I could read it at work." - Anonymous fan
Well, there it is - let's share the love, now if someone would give me some kudos, my passion life would be complete (sadly, that is only slightly tongue in cheek). I will just close out saying: Thank you Mr. Groupie - I love your writings too, you are damn awesome and that pic is pretty hot. If you think my blog is good, check out my Trivial Pursuit skillz....um, never mind that last part. Kisses!
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How I became Sciencegirl
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Publié :5/5/2008 18h53
Dernière mise à jour :21/5/2008 18h28 3270 vues
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This past weekend was the Kentucky Derby (tragic though it was) and as such is the anniversary of my monumental decision to become a sciencegirl. Not surprisingly, this choice was influenced by a guy, my microbiology professor as it turned out, but probably not in the manner you might be thinking.
When I was a sophomore in college, I worked in a couple of the labs at my university as a technician and researcher. Through this job, I became friends with a number of the grad students and younger professors. That year, I decided to throw a Kentucky Derby party and invited over all of my lab mates, including my microbiology professor, who I thought was pretty damn hot.
You may know that the traditional drink of the Derby is the mint julep, which if you have never had one is very potent when done right, so of course, I was serving these things by the pitcher. I was shocked that a couple of the professors had shown up at the shindig to begin with, but when they started getting sloshed with the rest of us, I was totally floored. After a couple of hours of steady drinking, I went back to the kitchen to mix up another picture and my prof came along to help me carry glasses and whatnot, since I was getting a bit unsteady on my feet.
As soon as I had set down the glasses I had in my hands, MBP (microbiology professor) turned me around, picked me up, set me on the counter and gave me the most mind blowing kiss I had ever experienced. Keep in mind that I was all of 19 years old (he was 32), my boyfriend was in the living room with a bunch of other people including another prof I worked with and that this guy was essentially my boss. I was taken a bit by surprise, but I was so turned on by the things he could do with his tongue that I wrapped my legs around him and started kissing him for all I was worth while he started unbuttoning my shirt and playing with my nipples.
We did not want to raise any suspicions, so after a while, we put our clothes back in order, mixed up the drinks and went back to watching the race while stealing glances at each other the rest of the afternoon. Never in my life have I pushed guests out of my house so fast at a party, but since MBP was going to um, "help clean up" after everyone left, I wanted everyone gone as quickly as possible.
Pretty much as soon as I closed the door behind the last person, he pushed me up against the wall and started kissing down my neck and literally pulled my shirt apart so hard, one of the buttons went flying. I immediately reached down to start massaging his hard cock through his jeans and as soon as he let me up for air, I got on my knees to start sucking that dick with an enthusiasm (and probably the total lack of sophistication) that only a 19 year old can muster. After a while, MBP pulled me up off of my knees, took off my pants and started massaging my clit through my panties as he ground his hips into my belly. I nearly came into his hand, but MBP moved my panties aside and fucked me right there against the wall. To this day, that was possibly one of the most raw, animalistic fuckings I have ever experienced and I loved every minute of it. I continued working in that lab (with all of its fringe benefits) until I graduated - thus was born my love of science and according to my transcript, I am one hell of a microbiologist.
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Hi! Let's fuck...*
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Publié :23/4/2008 20h01
Dernière mise à jour :12/5/2008 19h37 2957 vues
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I am mystified by the number of men on this site who think that women on here are just panting to fuck a guy after one conversation with him. Honestly, wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) that freak you out just a little bit?
While we are all sexually liberated (let's face it, we are on a sex site for god's sake - there can't be that many prudes around here), there is may be a bit of prudence that just makes good sense. If she is willing to jump right into bed with you, perhaps you might want to take a moment to consider the ramifications and long term implications of fucking someone who will apparently fuck someone without knowing much of anything about them. While we have all seen the horrible videos in the seventh grade about STDs (and I am going to assume that you all know how to use protection to avoid that), there are a few things that should perhaps enter the head you apparently aren't thinking with:
She might not respect you after it is over. Granted, that is probably not at the top of your mind either, given the situation, but what happens when she tells all of her friends what a slut you are? They might all be expecting you to put out for them as well - and who would want to sleep with someone who comes off as simply too cheap and/or lazy to hire a hooker? No matter how low your self-esteem is, you deserve to fuck someone better than a cheap, lazy jane (is that what they call a female john? if not, you heard the start of the trend here)
She might be using you. Maybe she is looking for a baby daddy, and oops! condoms do break occasionally, assuming you have the presence of mind to get one on. Or perhaps she is looking to get back at her cheating husband or boyfriend by giving them a taste of their own medicine and she is taping the whole experience to leave the resulting DVD on his weight bench where he does chest presses of 500 pounds along with what she knows of your name - and he might be the jealous/angry type. What are you going to do then, mr. "but-i-thought-she-loved-me", what are you going to do then?!?!?
She really does just want your money. She may be giving you just a taste to get you hooked so you will turn over your credit card number to get her phone number for next time. Possibly not the best business strategy on her part, but do you really want to take that chance?
How many guys on this site have complained about there not being any "real" women? How many "real" women do you think are just sitting around their computer waiting for you to IM, so they have the opportunity to screw your brains out (well, other than me, of course). Put down the Penthouse Letters and welcome to the real world - oh and I hate to burst your bubble, but that stripper at the club might not actually like you either, nor should you expect the porn music to cue when you answer the door for the cleaning lady. Just a couple of thoughts here - I will add more as I think of them. So guys, really - let's all have some respect for each other.
*Idea stolen from The Onion - send your complaint letters to them (but be gentle, it might be the first one they have gotten)
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Worst. Day. Ever.
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Publié :19/4/2008 13h00
Dernière mise à jour :23/4/2008 16h19 3024 vues
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I had about the worst possible day one can imagine yesterday. Let me just take a moment to set the stage here - both of the people on my team at work are out of the office, meaning that I am covering the entire function by myself not only this week, but next week as well. My job sucks in general, so it is not a fun place to be when everyone is there, but when they are gone, it is downright torture.
With this little version of hell going on with the work thing - it seems to be an excellent time to do a bit of job searching. Finally, last Friday, a fabulous company called and asked me to come out for a full day assessment/interview on Tuesday. I frantically rearranged my schedule and flew to the armpit of America (where this company is located) and put all of my energy into be intelligent, capable and charming (it was really exhausting). Come this Friday, my day immediately started going downhill when I found out this company went with an internal hire for the position - strike 1.
Since my entire group at work is gone, I was responsible for taking care of all the nit-picky-stupid-ass requests that come in for our group. About 2:00 yesterday afternoon, our server decided it was unhappy too, and pretty much just gave up actually delivering data (I am so there with you, server baby). At one point, I was actually to the point of being on my knees, begging - quite literally - the almighty computer to give me some data - any data! - that I could use to appease the corporate overlords who were demanding results immediately, or better yet 2 hours ago. It was pitiful and demeaning (much like the rest of my job - but still, I don't usually have to do it in front of the directors), but there you have strike 2.
At least I was going home soon - safe haven, thank god. After all, what could possibly go wrong at home???? I was leaving all of my problems at the office and it was the weekend. Turns out the fates are cruel or have a really really horrible sense of humor. I decided to spend my evening drinking my bad day away and hang out on the couch watching cheesy chick movies when all of a sudden, my hotmail account starts popping up little messages like
"Congratulations! You just won a $2000 4 megapixel digital camera with eBay's Buy It Now"
Given my day, I started praying that my friends were fucking with me, when another message from eBay congratulating me on winning a laptop popped up, followed by another and another. I immediately tried to get into my eBay account to see what was going on and proceeded to feel one of the most horrible, nauseating feelings I had ever experienced - all of my passwords had been changed - eBay, email, you name it. Needless to say, I was a little upset. I spent the rest of the night trying to straighten all this out, and $10,000 in electronics bids later, I finally got my eBay account turned off. The email account is gone - I have no idea whether it can be retrieved - with 9 years of history, a good email address and everything that went with it. Damn! Just Damn!
So there you have it - possibly my worst day ever. Oh, I do realize that it could have been much much worse and that really this stuff is more annoying than anything, but I do fully intend to wallow in self pity for the weekend and open a bottle of the good wine, hang out with my buds, Ben & Jerry and pretty much just recoup and gird my loins to get through next week. Here's to some good vibes coming my way.
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