SEX
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Publié :19/6/2015 7h26
Dernière mise à jour :19/6/2015 7h28 5240 vues
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Yes I like
morning sex,
evening sex,
planned sex,
random sex,
lunch sex,
public sex,
sex in a taxi,
sex in a hotel elevator,
sex on a Ferris Wheel,
sex in a hotel lobby,
fuck it,
I just like sex.
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Couldit be?
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Publié :17/6/2015 8h06
Dernière mise à jour :23/5/2024 1h15 5245 vues
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The Daily Telegraph reported:
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
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Before Sex
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Publié :16/6/2015 14h56
Dernière mise à jour :23/5/2024 1h15 5255 vues
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Before Sex
You help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself.
Moral of story: In life, no one helps you once you are fucked.
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Bill and Bob -
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Publié :15/6/2015 7h59
Dernière mise à jour :15/6/2015 12h06 5312 vues
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Bill and Bob are not the brightest bulbs in the box. They were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.
"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.
"So? Are you afraid?"
"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"
To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"
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SO I do have serious questions - please help me understand
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Publié :9/6/2015 10h32
Dernière mise à jour :10/6/2015 7h52 5320 vues
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and it was triggered by Travel_Couple69.. and one of their blogs.
Why is it so many profiles of couples say no single males but they are seeking females for a threesome. I can think of several reasons. Am I off base?
1- The guy wants different pussy and his girl will go along with that to keep the guy. But the guy fears letting another guy fuck his woman.
2- The girl wants girl on girl play and gets excited to see her guy fuck another girl. He is happy with that.
3- Help me with more reasons..
Then there are the couples who do not want "cheating" males. But cheating females are ok. What does that say?
All these questions. I am now really curious.
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The Penis and Clitoris...
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Publié :9/6/2015 10h16
Dernière mise à jour :23/5/2024 1h15 5259 vues
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"We are one of the few mammals with a fleshy penis lacking a bony support, which means that the mind “complex beast it is” is integral to our capacity to copulate. On the other side of the gender coin, the clitoris seems to be the only organ designed for pleasure alone. It contains more nerve endings than any other corner in the body. It is at the same time ancillary, inessential and spectacular. Its presence in our species is noteworthy. Perhaps most striking: orgasm. It does not seem that anything that has ever graced Gods green earth has ever experienced the height and duration of orgasmic experience as we humans."
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"With more than 8,000 nerve endings, the human clitoris is unparalleled among mammalian morphologies. Biologists contest it is the only portion of the human form designed for pleasure alone. Male orgasmic ejaculation is compulsory for fertilisation to occur through the old-fashioned mode of reproduction, but female orgasm is not required for ovum to meet sperm. The clitoris is both ancillary and spectacular. Anatomists, evolutionary biologists, psychiatrists and the man on the street alike have all (let’s hope) taken note that the clitoris is of biological significance. That the very existence of such a remarkable organ could have merited any form of empirical investigation is striking, from both a cultural as well as scientific standpoint. How could anyone in possession of one, or partnered to someone with one, be unaware of its location or importance?"
Excerpts from Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll: The Science of Hedonism and the Hedonism of Science (Zoe Cormier)
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HORSING AROUND FOR REAL!!
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Publié :8/6/2015 12h01
Dernière mise à jour :23/5/2024 1h15 5381 vues
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A former Washington state man who was convicted of trespassing at an Enumclaw farm where a man was fatally injured while having sex with a horse in 2005 is accused of having sex with animals on a Tennessee farm.
James Tait, 58, was arrested and charged Thursday with three counts of felony animal cruelty in Maury County, Tenn. Kenny Thomason, 44, who lives with Tait, was charged with two counts of felony animal cruelty.
“They’ve been having sex with full-grown horses,” Maury County Detective Terry Chandler said Monday. “He [Tait] has been here for four years and it looks like it has been going on for some time.”
Chandler said that Thomason owns the farm and the animals — 13 horses, Shetland ponies, goats and dogs. The detective said that it appears that people had been having sex with the ponies and dogs as well as well as larger horses.
Deputies learned about the farm last week from someone who had recently visited. The person e-mailed investigators a photo of a man who was having sex with a Shetland pony, Chandler said.
Chandler said he’s investigating whether the farm was being advertised as some sort of bestiality destination — just as happened in the Enumclaw case. Chandler said that detectives have recovered several videotapes of men having sex with animals on the farm.
Tait and Thomason are each being held on more than $100,000 bail, Chandler said.
When Enumclaw police searched Tait’s Enumclaw farm in July 2005 they found hundreds of videotapes depicting men having sex with horses. One video showed a 45-year-old Gig Harbor man having sex with a horse shortly before he died of acute peritonitis due to perforation of the colon on July 2, 2005.
Authorities charged Tait with trespassing at a neighbor’s farm on the night of the Gig Harbor man’s death. Tait’s neighbors told The Times in 2005 that they didn’t know that people had been sneaking into their barn to have sex with their horses.
Tait entered an Alford plea to the criminal trespassing charge in King County District Court on Nov. 29, 2005. Under the plea, he did not admit guilt but acknowledged a jury would likely convict him.
In addition, Tait’s rented Enumclaw farm was known in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people who wanted to have sex with livestock, according to the King County Sheriff’s Office.
In 2006, in response to the Enumclaw case, the Washington state Legislature made bestiality a Class C felony, punishable by up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
The Enumclaw case was the subject of the recent documentary “Zoo” by Seattle filmmaker Robinson Devor.
---Seattle Times 10/20/2009
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Why I Fired My Secretary
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Publié :5/6/2015 11h22
Dernière mise à jour :6/6/2015 15h25 5541 vues
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Two weeks ago, was my birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday. I said, well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. The children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office. Do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes, she came out... ... carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife and children. All were singing Happy Birthday. ... and there on the couch I sat... ... with nothing on but my socks... … and *that's* why I fired my secretary
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My friend and his horoscope
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Publié :5/6/2015 8h49
Dernière mise à jour :23/5/2024 1h15 4984 vues
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So my friend told me he was reading his horoscope yesterday and it stated that one of his ex's would POP up suddenly. He was horrified! So he has been standing by the creek all day just in case she does...
Yes it is a joke. Someone once though it was real.. it is not.
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Patrick's story
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Publié :26/5/2015 15h07
Dernière mise à jour :23/5/2024 1h15 5629 vues
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Patrick, who was on holiday from Ireland on Bondi beach couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.
Mate, it's obvious,' says the lifeguard, 'you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya mate...you'll have all the babes ya want!'
The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, and laughing, looking sick!
So Patrick went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, 'What's wrong now?'
JAHEESUS!' said the lifeguard, 'Mate. The potato goes in front!'
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