The Gunfighter
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Publié :11/3/2007 12h55
Dernière mise à jour :30/4/2008 23h22 3411 vues
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The Wild West In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar
that had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.
The young cowboy took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up! and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're
wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil' lower down on your leg.
Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "Sure will," said the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the cowboy. "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man."You bet it will," said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" said the cowboy."I'm learning' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass and it won't hurt as much.
Peace
Sirl
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How Do Ya Like Me Now !
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Publié :7/3/2007 4h57
Dernière mise à jour :19/7/2013 22h37 5736 vues
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I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are
things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like
the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens... Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to
ban you from driving to the ball game.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason; that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU
LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion hey to each his own but don't try to bugger me or convert me.
I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different,weird, or tick me off.
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.
I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of
fact,if you want to be an American or Canadian citizen, you should have to speak English!
My family members didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the
word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating
system that's better, and put your name on the building.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when
necessary, and say "NO!"
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until
that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!
I am sick of "Political Correctness". I know a lot of black people,my grandson is mixed, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great,great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and reside in Canada
And if you don't like my point of view, tough...
Peace
Sirl
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And Todays Zinger Is
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Publié :7/3/2007 4h04
Dernière mise à jour :8/3/2011 22h46 3698 vues
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the
Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone
Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it
tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to
be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's
evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it
tell you,
Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo
shit. Someone has stolen tent
Peace
Sirl
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2
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Now Ya Know
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Publié :7/3/2007 3h55
Dernière mise à jour :8/3/2011 22h50 3358 vues
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DID YOU KNOW?
If you didn't know all of this it probably made no difference to your
success or failure in life, but your knowledge will now be increased.
1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter I is called a "tittle".
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down
continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was an
albino.
9. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
10. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will
kill a small sized dog.
11. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's
stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
12. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).
13. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear
pants.
14. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
15. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower because in
the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the
'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that
stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
16. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other
at the same time; hence, multi-tasking was invented.
17. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II
were made of wood.
18. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
19. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a
recorded Wendy before!
20. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple
and silver!
21. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to
paint Mona Lisa's lips.
22. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad
and sting itself to death.
23. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a
Captain Kirk mask painted white.
24. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have
$1.19. You also have the largest amount of Money in coins without being
able to make change for a dollar (good to know).
25. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in
quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)
26. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which
stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your
thumb (sign of a true civilized society).
27. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for
automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the
Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
28. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece
of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with
apples! (Guess what I'm buying on my next trip to the grocery store?)
29. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
30. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most
often stolen from Public Libraries.
31. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
Have a great day!
Peace
Sirl
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Nope I'm not dead
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Publié :23/2/2007 19h22
Dernière mise à jour :8/3/2011 22h51 3737 vues
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No.....I'm not dead i'm still breathin and bitchin. Guess that's a plus huh?
A.f.f. decided to eat the next part of the Shadow Child 4 times so I was pissy to say the least considering I
didn't have it copied yet I was mighty pissed and to try to rember it all....lol my mind and memory is mush.Just cause there is snow on the roof dosen't mean there is a brain inside.Anywhoooooooo I'm over my little snitfit with the site and I'll try to get back to the shadow child right directly....yep that was southern fried canuck lingo.
Peace
Sirl
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2
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Ya know what fuck it
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Publié :5/2/2007 17h40
Dernière mise à jour :8/3/2011 22h52 3305 vues
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It's another day here in the Great White North....I've been braggin for the past 4 weeks give or take one that Canada has been snowless !!!! welll me and my big fuckin mouth we have had 2 feet of snow the past week and are expecting more this eve 10 inches more fuck my big mouth sorry i'll never brag again
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2
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Shadow Child 7 .......The Meeting
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Publié :22/1/2007 6h37
Dernière mise à jour :8/3/2011 23h40 3560 vues
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Yes thats it stop for the night mortal...partake of the gift of nourishment that I left for you...enjoy
Tis seasoned with a few special herbs ...nothing to harm..oh no..I should not want you damaged in any way.
I cannot approach you in my form..for shadows do not combine well with the conscience.
I rather come to you in your dreams ..or better yet in a suspended state of thought.
His drowsiness reaches me and I walk along the perimeter...smiling at his inability to stay awake.
Laying down at a distance...closing my eyes...I enter his dreams.
The same fair woman resides there...and the man..why do they haunt him as they do me?
He utters her name...calling to her in his memories...Alandra.
My body shudders...why does that name pierce me through..like a shard of light entering a long forgotten tomb.
Echoing in my minds eye...familiar but elusive...it matters not...it is he that wishes to enter my realm.
Stepping out of the shadowy mist...I stand watching him.
He has no power here...not over me...nor his surroudings...anymore.
Looking at him from beneath the hood of my cloak...I slip it off my head a little so that he can look upon my features.
My dark hair framing my face ...his facial features show more than his thoughts. He finds no words to speak.
"Yes mortal..it is I...the one from the shadows"
"I am in your dreams...you are wishing to visit my realm...do you still wish that?"
He remains silent and slowly walks towards me...eyes not wavering.
I remain still in his gaze, a smile makes its way to my lips.
From his uncertainty and confusion.
"What will it be mortal...Do you wish to still follow me...or turn back?"As I sit beside the mossy path I travel, I ponder the sanity of my quest . Tis but a feeling inside that drives me onward, was but a smell from a dream that started this journey ,and is a vision of shadows dancing that I follow ever deeper into the wilderness.Surely this is madness for no sane man would ever have given these a second thought, and would have played them off to tricks of the senses.Now a new question arose in my head,what of the gift that I am about partake of.....was it truly a gift from the dark one or just a poor creature whose' time had come to an abrupt end? The footprint, was it that or was it just a hollow in the ground that my foolish imagination had runaway with, and made what I wanted to see? As I ate my meal I decided that in the morning, I would backtrack and make sure that it was indeed that. I would then consider the facts and if my journey was a product of reality or insanity.It was not long after my feast that I knew something was desperately wrong. It started first as a slight ringing of the ears,which then turned into hum that made my head spin and my stomach churn. Only then did it occur to me that the animal I had consumed, that which I considered a welcome gift...had died of some unknown disease.How could I have been so careless,my many years in this vast land should have taught me that animals without any visible wounds do not die for no reason unless it being of old age....this was not the case as the hare I found on the path was young, my carelessness would surely cost my life. In my final waining moments of consciousness,when I thought life as I knew it would cease to exist,she appeared . The shadow child stepped into the light,was this actually happening?As she approached ,she removed the hood that was covering her face.I knew her face in an instance it was the same dark haired beauty that was in my visions with the young man .Alandra ,was her name why couldn't I remember it before? The dark haired beauty with green eyes in my dreams is the shadow child in my reality.Fight as I may I finally succumb to unconsciousness and enter the realm of the dark one.
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What If
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Publié :19/1/2007 8h31
Dernière mise à jour :9/4/2011 10h15 3901 vues
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Sometimes as I set alone with my thoughts I wonder, as I am sure we all do now and again, “What If”. W
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9
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Needless To Say
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Publié :18/1/2007 12h46
Dernière mise à jour :29/4/2011 3h11 3733 vues
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Well another day has come and gone here in The Great White North,...which it finally is due to a recent snowfall ... The get shit done fairy called in sick today and that really pissed me off cause after spending 12 hrs or so in the alltalk chat room I really didn't feel much like doing shit myself but thought I'd better get at it .I promptly got up off my lazy ass... stretched to loosen up the muscles....one should always do that before any vigorous exercise such as housework to avoid injury.... and made my way to the kitchen . Upon arrival in said kitchen I surveyed the situation and laid out my plan of attack. First the dishes, then the counters,and then the stove. My next plan was the laundry... checking the hamper in the bathroom first I returned to the laundry room opened the lid on the washer turned it on and started sorting out the whole mess of, who needed what for the next day. When I had finished this task I grabbed for the laundry detergent and found the weight of the bottle to be extremely light.Upon opening the bottle I found that my suspicions were correct the damned thing was empty. Needless to say the laundry didn't get done. So I turned off the washing machine and went back to the kitchen and the task at hand there. Hmmmm I thought to myself time to have a smoke and since cigarettes plus water = drowned smoke....and they are way too expensive to waste ( being thrifty as I am ) I went to the living room and sat down on the couch to imbibe on my relaxing smoke. Well ok I'll get back to them in a minute(the dishes). I then decided it was a little too quiet in the house so I turned on a movie just for the noise and for something to do while I puffed on said smoke. Well I finished my smoke and got ready to go back to the task at hand, when a really good part of the movie started, what's a few more minutes I thought to myself hell the dishes will never know the difference. So I got comfortable and relaxed to watch the climactic conclusion to the movie. Well guess what happened next?Yep my sorry ass fell asleep Needles to say the shit I didn't feel much like doing in the first place didn't get done after all.I know one thing for sure that getting shit done fairy better have a damn good excuse tomorrow for calling off work or he's gonna get fired! Disclaimer: All characters in this story may or may not represent someone in real life,all events that have occurred may or may have not really happened, no animals were harmed in the making of this story....Needless to say it was all a bunch of bullshit.
Peace
sirl
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8
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Magic
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Publié :17/1/2007 5h21
Dernière mise à jour :6/4/2011 17h37 5674 vues
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Believe in the Magic of Love .If you truely believe in it , then you can harness the Magic.If you can harness the Magic then anything is possible ................ Sirl
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9
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Here's Mine Where's Yours
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Publié :17/1/2007 2h34
Dernière mise à jour :23/1/2007 13h36 3385 vues
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Being new to blogville I haven't got a chance to view alot of the more well known bloggers Yet but here are some of my favorites.In no particular order of course as I wouldn't want to like piss-off any of them by like saying one was better than the other or anything like that cause they are all tallented in their own way at least ,I think they are some just in different ways than the other one and uhhhhhhhh. Oh the hell with it one is just as talented as the other here they are if you haven't already check em out.
[blog FrankPicasso]
Shywhisper2006
[blog n2meec]
[blog funintheday2006]
[blog skyeone2]
like ya'll know I'm new so i am sure the list will keep growing .who are some of your favorites?
Sirl
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11
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Duuuuuuuuuuuh........ Your shittn me
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Publié :16/1/2007 1h55
Dernière mise à jour :3/5/2012 18h01 5468 vues
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Room temperature.....what room isn't
Caution contents hot..... like I wanted my coffee cold
Cigarette smoking is hazardous to your health ...really I thought that taking smoke into my lungs was a good thing
Contents under pressure do not incinerate.....what you mean it would be alright to throw a flammable liquid into a fire if it wasn't under pressure
Do not immerse in water....huh I thought I might be able to save a little time by drying my hair while I was taking a shower
Hot surface do not touch......you mean I shouldn't put my hand on that glowing red thingy
May cause drowsiness do not drive or operate heavy machinery after taking...Damn I was gonna run my bulldozer down to the corner store to pick up some munchies after I took that sleeping pill
Fragile do not drop.....Foiled again I was gonna let that tv set slip outta my fingers on purpose
Let cool before serving.....Nope i wanna eat it while it's still steaming it only came out of a 400 degree oven
Just how stupid do they think we are lol sometimes we must be pretty damned dumb evidently some dumb ass did these at one time or another or the warning wouldn't be there....got anymore
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6
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Shadow Child 6 ....The answer
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Publié :15/1/2007 23h08
Dernière mise à jour :9/4/2011 10h27 8301 vues
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Tis a feeling of loneliness that comes over me here in the wilds..but yet i am not alone .The presence of the shadow child tho always in me is now weak ....do you sleep dark one.... do you dream of places that you know not also. As I wonder down the mossy path I see something on it's a dead rabbit I reach down to touch it and then look around .....still warm there beside it is another footprint..... Hmmmmm seems the one that haunts me is watching over me as well or is this some kind of offering to stop the relentless pursuit ....no matter which it will be a delightful change over the jerky and berries that is my normal feast .So let it be dark one.....the quest will stop for this day . As I make a fire for my camp this evening and prepare to feast on the gift that had been left for me ...I hear a voice call to me .Looking around I see no one there... is this madness....shaking my head to try to clear the cobwebs of my imagination I go back to my task of putting my meal on the spit and placing it over the fire.Sitting staring at the fire.... lost, Almost hypnotized by it's colors and warmth I hear it again only this time I realize that it comes from inside my mind ...it is the shadow child that speaks from within .....I hear you dark one .As the night rolls on so does the conversation with the shadow child.The questions of the calling and of the dreams are answered but. The ever elusive Shadow child is still but a fleeting glimpse .He is determined to follow...like a quest...But why?...to rid his self of inner demons?
Why do I care..the demons in my mind shriek like the beasts of they sky..yet no one else hears them...except me.
The images torment my thoughts...familiar and yet...not.
Stepping lightly in the musty undergrowth of the forest..I am barely seen or heard..he feels me and at times I believe he hears me as well.
matters not...he wishes to head into this chasm of the shadow realm ..so be it. His bones may very well feed the carrion ..matters not to me. Tis his choosing.
A glimmer flashes in my mind...why does my being betray me and ...feel something from those images?
I know not from whence I came and have no...feelings like this mortal...nothing left inside this shell resembling light..goodness or the essence of what this mortal feels.
Nothing but inky darkness...shrouded layer upon layer...coating what once was...is no more.
My eyes dart across the landscape before me...yes..thats what I am looking for. Grabbing out of seemingly nowhere...soft fur envelopes my hand...a snap of my wrist and I lay it upon the path where soon he will walk. I step directly onto a patch of moist rich earth and leave my mark. And fade into the shadows to watch him.
Do your dreams follow you mortal? To they make you writhe in remembrance of time past ?
He seeks another..one he lost and yet it was not him.
Seek me and find nothing but darkness and shadows...no life remains in me.
He devours my offering.
His face becomes animated with the flickering of the blaze before him
The shadows dance on his features...contorting and twisting...changing his facial structure yet it remains the same...his voice in my mind echos in me...like a haunting memory of the past.
Who are you mortal?
Yes I sleep..when necessary...if the images stop pursuing me and leave me be.
The way the light reflects from his eyes...He dreams whilst awake and speaks to me.
Flicking my fingers outward a shower of sparks burst upward from his entrancing flames...he is startled but not enough to stop thinking.
I shall work on that.
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