Stereotyping..... agree or disagree?
|
Publié :14/8/2009 10h53
Dernière mise à jour :20/8/2009 14h43 15627 vues
|
Relationships: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know that there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need.
Sex: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay.
Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
Maturity: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.
Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
Magazines: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.
Handwriting: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
Bathrooms: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Groceries: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.
A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
Shoes: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day. Let's not talk about how many days he'll wear the same socks.
Leg warmers: Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.
A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."
Cats: Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Offspring: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Low blows: Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on TV. One of the boxers is felled by a low blow. The woman says, "Oh, gee. That must have hurt." The man groans and doubles over, and actually FEELS the pain.
Dressing up: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
Laundry: Women do laundry every couple of days.
A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."
Eating out: When the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.
Mirrors: Men are vain; they will check themselves out in a mirror.
Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, Joe Garagiola's head.
Menopause: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual.
Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction -- he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
The Telephone: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Richard Gere: Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
Madonna: Same as above, but reversed. Same reason.
Toys: Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries to operate.
Cameras: Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes.
Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.
Locker rooms: In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.
Women talk about one thing in the locker -- sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.
Movies: Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
Jewelry: Women look nice when they wear jewelry.
A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
Time: When a woman says she'll be ready to go out in five more minutes, she's using the same meaning of time as when a man says the football game just has five minutes left. Neither of them is counting time outs, commercials, or replays.
Conversation: Men need a good disagreement to get talking, e.g., "Wow, great movie.", "What are you, nuts? No REAL cop would have an Uzi that size." "Well, maybe he got it because he knew about those Mafia guys", etc...
Women, not having this problem, try to initiate conversations with men by saying something agreeable: "That garden by the roadside looks lovely." "Mm hmm." Pause. "That was a good restaurant last night, wasn't it?" "Yeah." Pause. And so on.
Friends: Women on a girl's night out talk the whole time.
Men on a boy's night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos or Got any more beer?"
Restrooms: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women use restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restrooms will never speak a word to each other. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?"
So? Agree or Disagree?
|
|
|
4
commentaires
|
|
Hmmmmm
|
Publié :14/8/2009 1h05
Dernière mise à jour :17/8/2009 12h45 13334 vues
|
Do you have a tattoo?
Do you like it?
Did you think, and plan, and look at many pictures before deciding what to get?
Does yours reflect your personality? Or family? Or work or military service? Did you put a lot of thought into it?
So just what the fuck was this guy thinking?????
|
|
|
3
commentaires
|
|
Do you think.......
|
Publié :12/8/2009 16h32
Dernière mise à jour :20/4/2012 21h55 13504 vues
|
you might have had a few too many when your night ends like this?
I just could not believe someone had a camera!
|
|
|
1
commentaire
|
|
Still boring........
|
Publié :9/8/2009 13h35
Dernière mise à jour :12/8/2009 16h33 15067 vues
|
Hi there everyone! Yes, I am still here and still alive.......
Things in the country are going well. I love it. I am getting into a routine now, something I never had before.
I get up around noon, take the dog out for his morning break, have a coffee and energy drink, check my email, do my phone work, and depending on the day, either do housework or go to my other job for the evening.
I went out last night to socialize and visit at the meet and greet. I found myself wanting to go home within an hour. Not that I don't like the people there, I really like most of them and was happy to see them again! I did get to meet some new people, in particular one guy who was very funny and had me laughing, and a couple that was extremely interesting. I saw some people I had not seen for awhile.
But I found the music too loud, the patio too crowded, and really wanted to just come home.
I am a party pooper now.
Plus, I felt that I was not interesting any more. I used to have tons to talk about and talked about everything from the news to the latest parties. Now, all I can talk about is my quiet life now.
No one wants to hear about it. I wouldn't.
So that is why I am not blogging much. What can I tell you?
I am going to have to get working on some erotic stories for you.
But again, whenever I try to write, I come up blank. I sit there for a bit and then just want to go out to the barns to see the horses, and see how they are today. So I grab the dogs, and usually the cats come too, and bring my coffee and go walk up and down between the stalls and pet each one and talk to them.
Hopefully it is just a phase, being so new, and I will come back out and start to have some fun with people, instead of just animals.
LOL
|
|
|
3
commentaires
|
|
T Shirts Sayings
|
Publié :27/7/2009 8h41
Dernière mise à jour :14/8/2009 1h05 13973 vues
|
Saw an ad for this tshirt and thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Can you imagine the remarks you would get? The looks on the street after a Granny had read it? How funny it would be if YOUR Granny wore it?
Have your ever bought a tshirt just because of what it says? Do you think shirts like this are funny, amusing, offensive, or rude?
Tell me what is the funniest shirt you have ever owned.......
or would like to own!
|
|
|
4
commentaires
|
|
Hello Again
|
Publié :22/7/2009 21h51
Dernière mise à jour :27/7/2009 8h42 13729 vues
|
Hi there!
I know, I have been remiss in posting any blogs. I just don't have anything exciting to write about.
Time is going by too fast. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. Of course there are hours needed to sleep, and I wish I did not have to. Then I would have more time for everything else.
Life in the country is wonderful. Quiet and beautiful and peaceful. I am learning an awful lot about horses, and enjoying every moment I spend with my pets and the farm animals. I am experiencing new things, and even rode on a tractor the other day and thought it was the best fun ever! The city girl in me is quickly eroding away.
I have not been out to a party, or out to AQ or had a male rendezvous in a long time.
So what do I write about?
When I can actually find something to tell you about, I will be back. Cause I don't think anyone wants to hear about my adventures in helping to herd baby horses or doing laundry.
|
|
|
5
commentaires
|
|
Blogging
|
Publié :9/7/2009 23h56
Dernière mise à jour :12/8/2009 16h34 14411 vues
|
Do you believe everything you read in a blog?
Can you tell the difference between.... fantasy, joke, memory, or story?
Can you tell when I am writing about real life or a dream or wish or joke?
Some people don't and that I must admit, irritates me.
Sometimes in a comment, sometimes in a letter, people send me an opinion and that is fine, but some are insulting and stupid.
Have you ever written to someone and asked if a blog is about you? Even when you know full well the situation in question never happened between you and the writer?
Have you ever written a private letter to tell someone they should not act a certain way just because you read their blog and don't agree in what they did?
Do you think a sex site is an acceptable place to judge people? Do you think it is fine to put on a profile that you enjoy water sports and then send me a letter telling me I am a sinner because I smoke cigarettes? Should anyone here judge anyone?
If my blog is a fantasy, I will tell you.
If my blog is real life, it is written just that way.
I have photos on my profile, so if I post a photo on a blog and it is a joke one, you will know it is not me.
Please take a joke, as a joke, and a fun thing. Laugh and enjoy.
|
|
|
5
commentaires
|
|
Missing Winter
|
Publié :7/7/2009 9h50
Dernière mise à jour :10/7/2009 14h17 14190 vues
|
So now that summer is only half over, I admit that I miss my winter.
I have to admit that I have enjoyed this summer more than any other in years, as it has not been too hot yet. And I just love walking the dogs and cats and watching them having fun.
But, I miss the cold, snuggling up under tons of comforters and watching a storm.
I don't miss getting stuck in the snow though.
But I have my own foil proof way to get someone to help me.
Would you stop and help me?
|
|
|
6
commentaires
|
|
Ahem.......
|
Publié :7/7/2009 9h45
Dernière mise à jour :10/7/2009 9h10 13412 vues
|
okay, if I was in a bathroom and saw this, I think I would back away slowly and wonder who the hell frequents this place!!
|
|
|
2
commentaires
|
|
For my American Friends.......
|
Publié :4/7/2009 11h44
Dernière mise à jour :7/7/2009 9h41 13442 vues
|
I wish you a very happy 4th of July and hope you have a wonderful day doing whatever it is you like to do to celebrate!
I know the Americans always have the best firework displays, even in the small towns and I wish I could be there to see some of them.
Congratulations on America's Birthday!
|
|
|
4
commentaires
|
|
Family Matters
|
Publié :3/7/2009 7h51
Dernière mise à jour :10/7/2009 9h10 13712 vues
|
As the woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.
Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room.
She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What are you doing!?"
The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."
|
|
|
3
commentaires
|
|
Always check first!
|
Publié :3/7/2009 7h42
Dernière mise à jour :7/7/2009 9h51 13432 vues
|
A guy and a gal were in the backseat of his car after having sex. The guy says to the gal, "If I would have known you were a virgin I would have taken more time." The gal replies, "Hell, if I'd a known you had more time, I'd a taken off my pantyhose."
|
|
|
2
commentaires
|
|
Ever hear.......
|
Publié :3/7/2009 7h20
Dernière mise à jour :7/7/2009 9h51 13345 vues
|
the expression 'PLAY YOU LIKE A FIDDLE'?
Well, here is your chance!!
Mmmmm........
|
|
|
3
commentaires
|
|
Pour créer un lien vers ce blog (winnipegjewel13), utilisez [blog winnipegjewel13] dans vos messages.
|
|
|
| Dim |
Lun |
Mar |
Mer |
Jeu |
Ven |
Sam |
| |
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
171
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
