Oh what a warped, wicked mind ...
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Publié :3/7/2007 2h06
Dernière mise à jour :15/9/2011 23h27 2324 vues
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Recently I was visiting a chat room, which shall go nameless at this time to protect the innocent. Oh who am I kidding - if they are on here - I doubt they are innocent ...  You're not are you? 
Moving on ... as new people came into the room they would say hello all, or howdy, or hello roomies. Face it - there are not too many original ways to walk into a room (I am working on that) Anway ... as they were greeted in return it was always the same line, 'hi ____ how are you?' and after being asked several times ... the same response sounded canned. So, I put on my thinking cap and came up with a few responses that you may want to use on your next venture into a chat room. Now. mind you I am not putting down anyone or any chat room. I enjoy going into them and this is just to keep the chat a bit more - well a bit more original and fresh.
Lets start a WITTY REVOLUTION!!!
Great - and it ain't even my birthday but my name definitely belongs on that cake ...
Oh I am wonderful but still void where prohibited by law.
It's a great day ... kinda like my world has that new car smell ... you know what I mean? 
Feelin' like a whistle ... hanging around ready to get blown ...
Feeling a bit like an Alabama road sign ... no one understands me but they're all taking shots at me.
Hi, great ... I would give ya hugs and kisses but I am covered in pudding right now ... (don't ask) *grin*
I am feeling good ... well, great actually - ever since I found out that by me tipping the strippers, I am supporting working mothers - so I have that going to me in the karma department.
I am feeling like King Kong ... ya wanna be my Empire State Building?
I feel like a glass of lemonade on a hot day - cool and refreshing.
I am just livin' the dream bay-bay, just livin' the dream ...
Hey there ... feeling saucy, and how are ya? Penny for your thoughts, twenty bucks to act em out ... 
Flyin' low under the radar ...
Feeling like I just won a naked limbo contest !!
It felt Like my day was part of the Spanish Inquisition. *grin
I am feeling Like a cupcake ready to have my frosting licked off.
I am feeling like a sexual Pinata ... you figure it out.
I am feeling a bit like a Taco Bell value meal ... you want me for here or to go?
Oh lord ... I feel like I am trapped in some crappy country song ...
I find myself happily exploring the terrain in which I currently find my self deployed.
Ever have that feeling like you're the bell hop at the Roach Motel? There's my day in a nutshell.
I am feeling a bit too warm ... and what am I doing in this basket?
I am fantastic ... I found out it's official ... 4 out of five doctors approve that I am good for your body.
I am great - I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching my agent ... no, really, I took a switch to her arse and she lowered my rates.
I am feeling like I put the 'ME' in awesmome.
My day started out a bit rough, then the meds, cough syrup and tequilla kicked in !!!
I am straight out pissed ... I just found out today that the Hokey-Pokey IS what it's all about ....
I am outstanding ... I developed a new attitude ... Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care.
I am enjoying this roller coaster life ... only mad that I am stuck behind the kid that pukes.
*** These are all original, sure I was inspired along the way, but never have I seen any of these used in this manner.
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Self promotion ...
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Publié :3/7/2007 1h47
Dernière mise à jour :15/9/2011 23h28 2262 vues
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I was wondering ... if I asked ... just how many winks could I collect if I asked for one from everyone that viewd my blogs? Ok so one may think it is self-promoting .. but I just thought it would be fun and interesting. So go on .. wink -
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in passing ...
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Publié :2/7/2007 4h01
Dernière mise à jour :15/9/2011 23h35 2228 vues
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in passing, I read this on a profile and found it to not be just interesting and thought provoking ... but topical ...
EVERYONE HAS A PAST SO LEAVE IT THERE PLEASE. IF YOU HOLD ON TO YESTERDAY YOU WILL NEVER SEE TOMORROW AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE TOMORROW THEN THERE IS NO FUTURE
I think this not only hits the nail on the head as they say, but it also drives it home.
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I cannot believe it ...
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Publié :2/7/2007 2h18
Dernière mise à jour :28/12/2007 11h11 2196 vues
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OK my perverse mind was working overtime on this one ... I was recently walking by the local beauty shop on my way to the post when I noticed a sign on the sidewalk advertising their services and it said:
Hair cut - 10.00
Acrylic Nails - 20.00
Pedicure - 25.00
Facials 40.00
YOU DESERVE A LITTLE PAMPERING
YOU DESERVE A GOOD FACIAL.
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A passing thought on "wow"
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Publié :1/7/2007 13h31
Dernière mise à jour :28/12/2007 11h05 2235 vues
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Waking up next to you - watching you as you sleep - the peaceful look upon your face - the look of complete bliss, knowing you are with me and I am only with you ‒ I gently brush your hair back with the back of my hand ‒ your eyes flutter open and you simply smile up at me - Wow.
Walking with you through the farmers market - we separate to each find something - as we approach each other we simply stop and look through the crowd and into each others eyes from a distance - knowing, wanting - Wow.
Each and every time our lips meet - I feel a surge of electricity rush up my spine - your soft and gentle touch is like none other I have had and puts me in such a ... makes me feel ... Wow.
Looking at you in 40 years with the same look of want and desire as I did the day we first met - Wow.
That is just my take on "Wow" - it is just how I feel and what I want it to mean to me.
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What a ducky day ...
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Publié :30/6/2007 15h12
Dernière mise à jour :30/12/2007 3h39 2498 vues
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I went with my son today to the park. He is starting football up again and he wanted to get in some running. So, like a good dad, I got on my bicycle and rode along side him. When we arrived - he put on his cleats and did his warm ups. I did a few with him but was more interested in the shady tree off to the side.
He suggested that I ride with him while he jogged the field, it's about one and a half miles all the way around so what the heck - sure. Half way around the first time he noticed a flock of ducks by the little pond ... "look daddy, ducky's" I rolled my eyes and told him to keep on running. The second time around temptation won him over - he darted after the ducks ... "here ducky, ducky, here ducky, ducky"
Here he is - this "macho" football player chasing little ducks around the pond - I was blinded with laughter - it was sooo funny. He told me to shush but I kept on ... well maybe too long. I was not paying attention to where I was going and went head on into a hedge and flew head over handlebars like I was in flight. My son nearly peed his shorts laughing. He ran over to see if I was OK and he found me unable to stand because I was laughing just as hard. We had a good laugh the entire way home as well.
We had a ducky day.
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My favorite ...
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Publié :29/6/2007 1h22
Dernière mise à jour :29/6/2007 12h18 2536 vues
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Of all the songs I have heard in my life .. this one song has stayed with me ever since I can remember - it has made me both sad and happy - it is a song that has been performed by countless artists in the latin arena. The song that I am talking about is Malaguena Salerosa ... it is a traditional mariachi song and when performed correctly - it will stir your soul. If you get a chance - try and find it - give it a listen.
Que bonitos ojos tienes
Debajo de esas dos cejas
Debajo de esas dos cejas
Que bonitos ojos tienes.
Ellos me quieren mirar
Pero si tu no los dejas
Pero si tu no los dejas
Ni siquiera parpadear.
Malaguena salerosa
Besar tus labios quisiera
Besar tus labios quisiera.
Malaguena salerosa
Y decirte nina hermosa.
Que eres lin........da y hechicera,
Que eres linda y hechicera
Como el candor de una rosa.
Si por pobre me desprecias
Yo te concedo razon
Yo te concedo razon
Si por pobre me desprecias.
Yo no te ofrezco riquezas
Te ofrezco mi corazon
Te ofrezco mi corazon
A cambio de mi pobreza.
Malaguena salerosa
Besar tus labios quisiera
Besar tus labios quisiera.
Malaguena salerosa
Y decirte nina hermosa.
Que eres lin........da y hechicera,
Que eres linda y hechicera
Como el candor de una rosa.
Y decirte nina hermosa.
translated it is:
What pretty eyes you have,
Under those two eyebrows.
Under those two eyebrows,
What pretty eyes you have.
They want me to look
But if you don’t leave them
But if you don’t leave them
Not even to flash…
Rose leaves of Málaga
To kiss your wanted lips
To kiss your wanted lips
Rose leaves of Málaga
And telling you, beautiful girl…
That you are pretty and magical,
That you are pretty and magical,
As the innocence of a rose.
If in poverty you despise me,
I give you truth.
I give you truth,
If in poverty you despise me.
I do not offer you wealth (riches)
I offer you my heart.
I offer you my heart
In exchange for my poverty.
Rose leaves of Málaga
To kiss your wanted lips
To kiss your wanted lips
Rose leaves of Málaga
And telling you, beautiful girl…
That you are pretty and magical
That you are pretty and magical
As the innocence of a rose
And telling you, beautiful girl.
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BLOGS vs CHAT ROOMS
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Publié :29/6/2007 1h11
Dernière mise à jour :4/7/2007 22h56 2643 vues
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I have posted a few blogs, yes and I have also visited a few chat rooms as of late. On my blogs I have received some very wonderful and thoughtful comments and for that I thank you all. That is what keeps me posting new blogs, sharing a bit of me and my thoughts with all of you.
Lately, I have ventured into the chat rooms and have had the opportunity to chat with some very wonderful and charming people - male and female alike. Have had some very fun and interesting conversations and am truly a better person for having done so and I thank you as well.
So if I was to compare the two - I would have to say that bloggers are the same as chatters - just as pleasant, open and charming.
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Whats your sex life worth this month?
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Publié :21/6/2007 22h01
Dernière mise à jour :15/9/2011 23h34 2763 vues
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Oh now we have all contemplated our net worth and our positions in life - so lets take this to a more entertaining level ... there is a value placed next to each activity - lets see what your net worth is sexually.
This month have you:
1. Had sex: 10.00 (+ 10.00 for each time with someone new)
2. Had someone perform a strip tease for you: 3.00
3. Got drunk and had sex: 7.00
4. Went skinny dipping: 5.00
5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex: 5.00
6. Kissed someone of the same sex: 5.00
7. Given oral: 5.00
8. Given oral sex to a member of the same sex: 10.00
9. Got oral: 5.00
10. Got oral sex from a member of the same sex: 10.00
11. Done something with someone older, (5 + years): 3.00
12. Said, 'I love you' to someone but didn't mean it: 1.00
13. Got caught doing something that you shouldn't have been doing: 5.00
14. Went streaking: 4.00
15. Made-out with someone of the same sex: 8.00
16. Done something sexually that you regret: 3.00
17. Lied to avoid going into work after a night of having sex: 4.00
18. Sexually teased someone of the opposite sex: 5.00
19. Sexually teased someone of the same sex: 8.00
20. Be caught having sex with someone you should not have been: 3.00
21. Taken pictures or video while having sex with someone: 6.00
22. Written an erotic story: 2.00
23. Masturbated alone to adult material, (porn video, magazine, ect.): 9.00
24. Masturbated in front of someone of the opposite sex: 4.00
25. Masturbated in front of someone of the same sex: 6.00
26. Watch a member of the opposite sex masturbate: 3.00
27. Watch a member of the same sex masturbate: 6.00
28. Had a threesome, (mfm, fmf): 4.00
29. Had a threesome, (mmm, fff): 6.00
30. Tried something new to you sexually: 10.00
Now add it all up and post back to me your sexual worth for this month.
*not to be taken seriously*
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